The Chronicles of Tewkesbury

FOR SALE : 550+ Acres of Productive Farm Land with Buildings

2010-10-29T14:02:00.010+02:00

FOR SALE :

550+ Acres of Productive Farm Land with Buildings

Tired of urban living? Sick of traffic in the 'burbs? Want to get your hands dirty and live off the land?

Tuckered out virtual farmer seeks to sell 550+ acres of productive farm land with well-kept buildings, pristine machinery, gorgeous orchards, and healthy animals. Property includes the following:

558 acres of land
1 large beehive
1 large dairy farm
   - 17 black and white holsteins
   - 20 chocolate cows
   - 1 bull
   - Room for two (2) more cows
1 super chicken coop
   - 28 golden chickens
   - 17 Cornish hens
   - 8 Rhode Island Reds
   - 7 Scots Gray hens
1 nursery
   - 8 holstein calves
   - 2 brown and white calves
   - 1 chocolate calf
   - 1 cream draft foal
   - 1 buckskin foal
   - 1 red foal
   - 1 brown foal
   - 2 black foals
   - 4 gray foals
1 horse barn
   - 18 black horses
   - 8 gray horses
   - 3 cream draft horses
   - 1 white stallion
1 pig pen
   - 9 black pigs
   - 8 ossabow pigs
   - 1 white pig
   - 1 strawberry pig
   - 2 piglets
   - 1 spider named Charlotte :-)
1 animal feeding trough
1 farmhouse with two clothes lines
1 garden shed
   - 30 bunches of sunflowers, tulips, irises, and edelweiss with capacity for 100 bunches
1 red barn, 1 shed, and 1 cellar with capacity for 340+ objects
   - Items stored include a post office, a mini villa, a French maison, a greenhouse, a mini Dutch windmill, 3 pink cottages and 4 black cottages, a Swiss cabin, a school house, various and sundry yard decorations, and some extra fencing
1 biplane, good for instant growing
1 harvester
1 seeder
3 tractors
1 combine
1 Adobe dwelling
1 large Swiss chalet
1 small Swiss chalet
1 Lighthouse
1 five-star Winery
5 market stalls
2 windmills
20 farmhands
11 arborists
9 packages of Fertilize All
2 dogs
1 cat
A menagerie of goats, donkeys, sheep, and turtles
More than 1,000 gallons of gas
2.6 million coins
6 Farmville bucks
Various awards and ribbons
Numerous collections
Small orchards comprised of fruit and nut trees
1 squirrel

This beautiful farm has been extremely productive and has mastered: carrots, artichokes, potatoes, corn, rice, onions, pumpkins, pineapples, strawberries, white and red grapes, cranberries, blueberries, watermelons, tomatoes, pink roses, sunflowers, daffodils, red tulips, irises, candy corn, and cupcakes. Also, level two master of red table wine, level one master of white sangria, and level one fruit wine.

All this can be yours for a bottle of prosecco and a plate of oatmeal, chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and happy (photo) Friday!

Photo Friday: Columbus Day in Spain

2010-10-22T14:00:00.003+02:00

Yes, you're seeing correctly. This is a new post on The Chronicles of Tewkesbury. I do still live and breathe, contrary to popular belief. For those out of the loop, I moved away from Washington, D.C., in April 2009 to live in Langley, Washington, just north of Seattle. Before I arrived at my new home, I was offered a short-term, 45-day gig at an international organization in Geneva, Switzerland.

Fast forward to today and I'm still in Europe and loving it here!

I want to get back into the groove of writing by way of blogging, so I thought I'd start with something easy like Photo Friday. A week and a half ago, my partner Maya and I were in Madrid on Columbus Day weekend. Turns out the Spaniards celebrate Columbus Day, too. This gentlemen and his compatriots were playing mariachi music in the Puerta del Sol and I snapped his photo.

Mariachi : Puerta del Sol : Madrid, ES

Happy (Photo) Friday everyone!

Photo copyright: Janet M Kincaid, 10/10

Oh Happy Day!

2010-03-09T20:53:00.000+01:00

At last!

Seems I moved away from the District just as the fun stuff was starting to happen. I'm thrilled to know that the District of Columbia has entered the ranks of that handful of brave states extending marriage rights to all of its citizens. The fact that D.C. is ahead of California and other seemingly obvious venues is mind-boggling. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop and some neo-con, wing nut in Congress to stick some rider on a bill that would strip this right from the District. I suppose I can breathe a sigh of relief?

Congratulations to my brothers and sisters in the GLBTIQ community. This is an historic day indeed!

The Sanctity of Marriage: Rove Edition

2009-12-30T05:07:00.000+01:00

Just a reminder folks, gays and lesbians are a threat to tradition marriage. Far be it for me to gloat, but the next time some knee-jerk neo-con runs around yelling that the sky is going to fall if "teh gays" are allowed to marry, let them put this in their pipe and smoke it:

Karl Rove granted divorce in Texas

So much for the sanctity of marriage.

Getta Life, Would'ja!

2009-12-16T21:16:00.003+01:00

Facebook. Ugh. Case in point, recent status update exchange, which is just further evidence I need to find a new hobby.

J.M. Tewkesbury: Is it just me or are the horses disproportionately large on FarmVille? And while we're discussing animal husbandry... Wanted: Cows. I need 16 more to complete my dairy farm.

J.M. Tewkesbury: Oh, and fertilizer. I could use fertilizer. Thanks Jeff and Jane for stopping by earlier and spreading some around!

J.M. Tewkesbury: Also, why can't I put the horse in my barn? I want to be able to post a status update one day that says, "The horse has left the barn", but I can't well do that if I can't put the bloody horse in the bloody barn. Sheesh. Stupid game! :-D

Emm Ell: I was thinking the same thing!! I'll send cows soon.

J.M. Tewkesbury: Bless you!

Sideon: Cows and chickens for me, please :) Look ma, no mess farming!

J.M. Tewkesbury: Sid: You got it! The favorite part of my farm: it doesn't smell! :-)

J.M. Tewkesbury: Thanks for the cows, everyone! Mr Swizzies, Emm, Polly, Winnie, and... Oh, shoot. I can't remember the fifth cow giver. Diana? Terry? Jane? Well, whoever it was, thank you! I'm now 11 cows away from being Ma'hana! :-)

*****

Sigh.

I think I should go for a walk. It's obvious my brain is not getting enough blood.

'Splain dis Luucy...

2009-12-07T20:40:00.005+01:00

So, I'm reading the Washington Post today about Meredith Baxter. You know? The mom from that 80s hit, Family Ties. Turns out, she's a Lesbyterian. That isn't much of a news item or really what I want to talk about. What I want to talk about is the poll at the end of a related blog entry titled "Coming Out at Mid-life" about Ms. Baxter's coming out.

The WaPo offers the following choices:

A) Yes. She had cultivated such a straight image over the years, I found the news jarring.
B) No. I really don't think other people's sexual orientation is any of my business, so this didn't faze me.
C) Who is Meredith Baxter?

Seems 8% are shocked by this. They're probably the same 8% who make up part of the 10% of the population who are estimated to be GLBTIQ and are all in the closet themselves. Eighteen percent of respondents had no clue who Meredith Baxter is. They were probably born after 1986, so they're forgiven. The remainder--74%--said they don't care one way or the other and they weren't fazed.

If that's the case, folks, then answer me these, please: first, if 74%--nearly 3/4 of those polled--don't care, then why do we still have Don't Ask, Don't Tell? And second, if this is in fact the case, why don't we have equal rights for GLBTIQ citizens and why do we have to keep fighting for basic civil rights? Why don't your poll answers match your voting record or your actions?

If you can answer both of those questions with more than a "Some of my best friends are gay, but NIMBY" answer, I welcome your response.

Photo source: Screen shot from my MacBook.

Where Are You From?

2009-12-03T06:00:00.003+01:00

A friend of mine posted this question on Facebook last night and asked a bunch of us to respond. Ironically, it's one I've been pondering for the last few days, because I get asked this question all the time and I frequently ask it of others.

Being from the U.S., I'm always curious where others have come from and what they consider home. I'm always equally-parts struck by people who have lived in one place for decades and by people who have moved around a lot. For a long time, my family thought I would be the one to settle down near them and my sister would be the one who moved around a lot. It's been the opposite. She's stayed in the Washington, D.C., metro area and I've moved in and out of the area three times since my family relocated there in the late 1980s.

It's been similar with my ex and now with Emm. My ex was born and raised in California and, with the exception of college, an internship, a mission, and a stint with a company in Washington State, she's always pretty much lived in California until we moved to Washington, D.C., for four years. Similar situation with Emm: she grew up in Arizona and went to college there, then lived briefly in Canada before settling in the Pacific Northwest. She's lived there ever since until recently. I have extended family members who have never left California or Utah and others who have moved around a bit.

Since I've been in Europe, I've met a load of people who have never moved out of one canton in Switzerland into another, because the expensive of "importing" your goods from one city to another is expensive. Same with moving from one country to another. If you've settled in France, you rarely move to Switzerland or Germany or vice versa unless you're willing to pay some hefty duties and tariffs. Quite often, if you do make a cross-border move, you sell your car in France and buy a new one in Switzerland, because it's cheaper than importing from one to the other. I'm sure one day the EU will figure all of that out.

That being said and returning to the topic at hand, I'm asked all the time where I'm from. I can't simply say, "The United States," because everyone knows what a big continent that is. I usually go with this as my response:

I was born in California, spent 17 years living in Utah (where I never learned how to ski. That always appalls scheelaufen lovin' Swiss), lived in Virginia for a year, then Austria for a year and a half. Came home and lived in Virginia for another five years while I finished college. Moved to California for grad school and stayed for eight years, then moved back to Washington, D.C. where I lived for seven years. I recently moved to Washington State, but only lived there three days before I came to Switzerland and I now live in France.

I should probably go with, I'm from California and Washington, D.C.

Here's the thing, though: when it comes right down to it, I want to say I'm from California, because that's where I was literally born and where I came into a big part of my self-identity as an adult. California holds a very special place in my heart and the only place I regret moving away from. On the other hand, I do love Washington, D.C., as a place to experience culture and politics. (Not so much work, though. I like to have a life and be defined by more than just my job.) And yet, I don't feel I can say I'm from California or from D.C. By the same token, I can't really say I'm from Langley, Washington, either, because I only lived there three days. I do hope to live there longer. I guess, my bottom line is, I don't know where I'm from at the moment and I'm sort of adrift.

So, when people ask where you're from, what do you say?

Photo source: Google Images, "globe".

Fun Stuff, Maynard!

2009-12-01T06:15:00.018+01:00

Not a lot to say. I'm just gonna give you some links and say, "Have fun!" (Okay, I'll say a little. Read on.)

27b/6 - Brilliant email exchange between someone who wants something for nothing and someone who isn't willing to oblige. Thing is, I can't figure out if this is fact or fiction. Funny? Yes. True? Who knows, but I'm sure someone will dig deeper and let me know.

Are you familiar with Marmite? Nasty stuff. Totally an acquired taste. There's a new book out about it that sounds like fun, though. Check out The magic of Marmite, best digested in book form.

*****

As it is officially December, it's time for that odious of all Christmas songs, The Twelve Days of Christmas. Since 1984, PNC Wealth Management has been doing a breakdown of what it would cost if you actually followed the redundant admonitions of that song and bought everything on the list x 12. You can also read about it in the Washington Post. Here is "12 Days of Christmas" items would top 87k.

*****

Have you switched over to Blogger's new interface? I just did. What do you think? I wish there were more font options, because there are so many lovely fonts out there. I suppose I could add them to the HTML code by hand. Hm.

In that same vein, why are everyone else's comments showing up and being accounted for, but my buddy Gilahi's are not? Is it Gilahi or is it Blogger? These are the kinds of questions that keep me up at night, folks!

*****

Remember last week's Lost in Translation with the Transex transport company and Wankdorf City? Well, here's another anecdote. Saturday, before we left Basel, we went to the Christmas Market. In addition to the handcrafted trinkets and gifts you can find, there's also gluhwein and heisse Marroni to be had. One day, I'll write about the culinary yuck that are roasted chestnuts, but for today's purposes, I'm here to talk about the bag they came in.

We got 100 grams of the holiday nut. It came in a bag that said, "Das sin' d' Marroni vom Barfi!" Translation: "These are the chestnuts from Barfi!" Inspiring, no? Obviously the Family Barfi should consider a name change. If I can get a picture of the bag taken and processed in the next day or two, I'll post it here.

Meanwhile, that is all.

Various Different Things

2009-11-30T18:00:00.003+01:00

At last! It's the end of November. I sort of managed to do NaBloPoMo. By sort of, I mean, I sometimes fudged and posted a day late, but back dated my posts.

In its entirety, this was not one of my better NBPM years. My entries were short and sort of mundane. By sort of, I mean, I wrote very little of substance or depth and one day I referred back to something I wrote two years ago.

It is fun to note, however, that my first entry began as a challenge from a colleague who wants to eradicate the use of acronymns and somehow I managed to use an acronym in nearly each post. I missed a few days here and there.

Anyway... Thanks for reading, all four of you faithful readers, you. If you were on Farmville, I'd gift you a lime tree.

*****

Speaking of the title, why do people use this word combination?

Various different things...

I hear this a lot lately and every time I do, it's everything I can do not to look at the person and say, "Are you always this redundant?"

var·i·ous

Pronunciation: \ˈver-ē-əs\

Function: adjective

Etymology: Middle English, probably from Medieval Latin *variosus, from Latin varius

Date: 15th century

1 archaic : variable, inconstant
2 : varicolored
3 a : of differing kinds : multifarious b : dissimilar in nature or form : unlike
4 : having a number of different aspects or characteristics
5 : of an indefinite number greater than one
6 : individual, separate

synonyms see different

— var·i·ous·ness noun

dif·fer·ent

Pronunciation: \ˈdi-fərnt, ˈdi-f(ə-)rənt\

Function: adjective

Etymology: Middle English, from Latin different-, differens, present participle of differre

Date: 14th century

1 : partly or totally unlike in nature, form, or quality : dissimilar —often followed by from, than, or chiefly British to very different from the captain's tottery characters — R. L. Stevenson> Sir Winston Churchill>
2 : not the same: as a : distinct b : various c : another TV program>
3 : unusual, special

— dif·fer·ent·ness noun

Various and different are synonyms of each other. That means they're virtually the same word. That also means they're interchangeable. That doesn't mean they should be used together. Please stop.

Thank you.

That is all.

Photo source: Google Images.

Christmas Music

2009-11-29T12:38:00.001+01:00

This being the first Sunday of Advent, it's officially the start of Christmas-music listening! I've got the tunes on right now. Between my English and German Christmas music collections, I have enough music for four days of non-stop listening.

One of my favorite holiday rituals is going to Borders Books & Music or Barnes & Noble and looking for new Christmas CDs. I don't have this luxury this year and I'm not so sure I'd be entirely keen on Christmas music in French. Here's where you all come in, though:

Recommend your favorite new* Christmas album to me and I'll consider downloading it from iTunes.

* New does not necessarily mean a new artist. It could be a new release of Christmas music for an older or long-since dearly departed artist. Bring it on, folks.

Photo course: Das Stadtblog für München

Success!

2009-11-28T23:00:00.002+01:00

We have just concluded a highly successful Thanksgiving that featured the best damn turkey I've had out of three. (It was slaughtered 24 hours before we consumed it and brined for 12 hours before we cooked it. Result: Moist and amazing!) My crescent rolls rose properly, which means I didn't kill the yeast. (I also doubled up on it, which probably helped, too.)

The best part of a meal like this is the team effort. We all--Ms Swizzies, Mr Swizzies, Maya and I--pitched in and the results were delicious.

*****

In a different vein, I'm noodling a blog post on why I think Glenn Beck should be excommunicated from the Mormon Church. I may or may not come back to this at a later date.

*****

In another different vein, I've been playing Farmville. In fact, here's a picture for you: last night, as we're all sitting around comatose from turkey and rolls and potatoes and the like, silence descends upon the room. Typically, if we were in the States, we'd have the football game or something else on the television. Instead, three of us were sitting in front of our computers playing Farmville and Mr Swizzies was playing his portable PlayStation.

How pathetic are we? But hey, the good news is, I now have a chicken coop, a seeder, and I'm the Grand Master of composting! Or, as my sister would tell you, I'm just making up shit as I go along and I now have the manure to prove it!

Happy (belated) Thanksgiving everyone!

Does Not Compute...

2009-11-27T23:00:00.006+01:00

Driving up to Basel today, we passed a transport truck with this sign on it:

Obviously the branding team that came up with this name and logo didn't test market it to English speakers.

As if that wasn't laughter-inducing enough, we then passed an edge community near Bern called Wankdorf. I wish I had a picture of the scaffolding tower rising from a hill near the autobahn sheathed in banners announcing WELCOME TO WANKDORF CITY!

I love Germanized English!

Grateful

2009-11-26T08:00:00.007+01:00

This has been a good year and I have a lot for which to be grateful.

For my family. We may not always be the most functional bunch, but we are consistently each others biggest fans. I'm especially grateful this year that my sister, who had to have emergency surgery a few months ago, came out of it largely unscathed.

For my friends. Each of you touch my life in ways seen and unseen. Whether we're near or far, I think of so many of you often and am glad technology allows us all to stay in touch in one way or another. This year, I'm especially thankful to Dr Lala, who called me while I was hiking in Yosemite and asked me if I'd like to come to Europe for a few weeks to work. Given the employment situation in the U.S., I'm very grateful to have a job.

For the opportunity to travel and see some great parts of the United States, including the Football Hall of Fame, the Lincoln Presidential Museum, the Nauvoo Temple, Mount Rushmore, the Cascades, the Biltmore Estates and Gardens, Birmingham, Alabama and New Orleans, Louisiana. I visited the farmstead where my 95-year old grandmother grew up in Texas and visited the graves of my great-grandparents. I saw Carlsbad Caverns, the Acoma Pueblo, the Grand Canyon, Sedona, and Yosemite National Park. I caught up with friends old and made friends new. To Senga and Joni, Virginia and her daughter Melissa, Aunt Edith, Debi, Ivo and Barbara, Heidi and Joe, Gram Kincaid, Don and Scott, and Cele and Ducky.

I'm thankful to be living in Europe. I enjoy visiting Mr and Mrs Swizzies in Basel and seeing the Alsace-Lorraine. I've fallen in love with Paris and relaxed in Provence. Along the way, I've visited Italy and been briefly to Germany. I look forward to seeing Vienna and Prague, Normandy and London, and anywhere else I can fit in.

For love. This year has been both good and bad in the relationship arena. The not-so-happy aside (there's a reason the song says "Breakin' up is hard to do..."), this year, I'm especially grateful for Maya and her love. Every relationship has its challenges and we've got our share, but I love waking up with her in the morning and going to bed with her at night. I love her laughter and seeing her smile. She's incredibly bright and articulate. She's fun in company, when we're out with friends and she's fun at home, when it's just the two of us. I'm grateful we met and I'm especially grateful we get to be together.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

I Got Shot...

2009-11-25T22:30:00.003+01:00

I'm not a huge fan of flu shots. I rarely get them. I wasn't going to get the shot for H1N1 this year either, until I read this article--For bubbly Va. 6-year old, swine flu's attack came quick and strong.¹

Now granted, the article is a bit sensationalist (although, there's nothing sensationalist about the death of a child, an event that is existentially unjust in more ways than I can count), but, not to put too fine a point on it, it scared the shit out of me. Ironically, I've spent the last six months working with very smart folks who are tirelessly trying to get a handle on this pandemic outbreak. I've read a forest full of papers and meeting reports on this subject, but it's all so technical and clinical that the anecdotal stuff sort of gets lost in a wash of action items and policy discussions. The article in the Washington Post gave it a name and some reality.

Having been offered the opportunity to get the H1N1 vaccine Pandemix, I decided to take it and today was the day. Let's just say, my arm is a bit sore, but I'm hoping I avoid getting the piglet flu. Maybe the motivation for my getting the shot wasn't the best one, but now I've done it and here's hoping...

On a happier note, here's a cute article about a piglet named Tetley.

1. There's a follow-up to this story from the Washington Post's ombudsman. It's worth a read, too.

Photo copyright: Washington Post

Oldie, but a Goody

2009-11-24T06:40:00.002+01:00

This evening, there was some discussion about alliteration between me and a new friend we've made. That brought up this post I wrote a few years ago during the month of December. I know it's not December yet, but as we're fast approaching Black Friday in the States, I thought I'd give you something to chew on for fun.

Here is my piece de resistance, Alliteration (2006). Just for comparison's sake, here is the one I wrote a year later, Alliteration (2007). Personally, I think 2006's is the better of the two. I don't know why I didn't do one last year, but I may just have to do one this year.

Oh, and check out Carl's blog. He needs some travel suggestions and a kick in the butt to start writing again.

Cartoon source: Google Images.

I Spy...

2009-11-23T18:00:00.001+01:00

One of the cool things about modern technology are web cams. I have several I look at at any given time. San Francisco, Calif., Green River, Wyo., Geneva, Switz., Seattle, Wash. The one I look at most frequently is one from the National Park Service looking across the Potomac River east toward the Lincoln Memorial, Washington Monument, and the Capitol.

So, the other day, I clicked on my link for the D.C. web cam and this is what came up:

For a moment there, I thought, "Good Lord! Has Washington finally been obliterated?! Has the Potomac finally been overtaken by global warming and it's oozing algae and burying the Capital City? If I call home, will I get a busy signal?"

Eventually I calmed down.

That is all.

Disorder du Jour

2009-11-22T22:00:00.000+01:00

So, the other day, in an attempt to help my friend Gilahi's muse, I went to Google, typed in the word "Odd" and clicked on "I'm Feeling Lucky." This is what I got: Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD).

I have no comment, because if I do comment, I'll piss off people with my opinions about disorders-du-jour and personal responsibility.

I also found this site, when I typed in "random" and clicked the aforementioned lucky link. I got this. Much better. Especially this linky-link.

The Answer to Everything in Switzerland and France is "Penny."

2009-11-21T06:15:00.002+01:00

Trying to navigate in a language you don't know can be a challenge. Throw into that a lack of some of the consumerist conveniences of home and you have another hurdle. Top it off with the psychological differences between French versus Swiss grocery stores and you have a recipe for full-blown culture shock.

At times like these, it's good to know someone who a) speaks the language, b) has been here a while and knows their way around, and c) is willing and happy to help you on the fly. Repeatedly.

Whenever there's something we need or we're trying to figure out, we'll start talking about it and wondering how we can arrive at a solution sans French. Sometimes, we work ourselves into a frenzy over it. Occasionally, we only think about it for a moment. Invariably, though, the solution we arrive at is "Penny."

Who is "Penny," you ask? Penny is our work colleague. She's originally from the UK, but has lived in Switzerland and France for the last 16 years or so. She came here to do a three month internship and ended up staying. Penny is the person we turn to for everything. And I mean, e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.

"We need to see if we can get cookie sheets and cooling racks. Do you think Carrefour would have those or will we have to go to Manor?"

"Let's ask Penny."

Turns out either of those would work, but so would going to Aligero--the Swiss equivalent of Costco. Thanks, Penny!

"I wonder where we can find a place that does facials and pedicures?"

"Dunno, but I'll bet Penny knows."

Why yes, yes she does. Urban Day Spa is a good bet. One day we'll get over there.

"Damn! I just called the Mobility guy about the car and he doesn't speak English. Do you think Penny would help with that?" Absolutely!

What about good Chinese? Penny. Or sushi? Penny. Or fondue? Penny. A good patisserie other than Brocards in St. Genis? Penny. How about clothes shopping or bookstores that sell English-language literature? Penny. Where does one go to buy good French wine that won't break the bank? Penny.

Or, how about why aren't we using electronic publishing software at work? Penny. Who do I contact about contesting a parking ticket? Penny. What is the history of this document and why is it still living when it should clearly be dead? Penny.

What's the best way to get to Provence? Penny. What is the Alpage and where can we go to see this phenomenon? Penny. What is the Escalade and why does it involve soup? Penny. Where can we go away for a weekend that is beautiful, but won't break the bank? Penny.

The answer to all things unknown is, very simply, Penny. She's a goddess and we'd be SOL without her.

Photo copyright for the Swiss Flag and Flowers: D.C. Confidential.
Photo source for the French Flag and Eiffel Tower: Getty Images. All rights reserved.

When My Brother Emails Me...

2009-11-20T06:15:00.004+01:00

...I know it's going to be good.

When the emails arrives, it's generally just a subject line and then a link. For example, these are the last five things he's emailed to me recently.

1. 10 Things Not to Say When Firing an Employee. The list includes things you shouldn't say while letting someone go. I read through the list and couldn't believe some of the things people would say. They're almost as bad as stupid things people say and do in interviews, only worse, because they're patronizing. I'm glad they included this one:

5."This is just as hard for me as it is for you." There are few absolutes, but it is absolutely true that it always harder to be fired than to fire. Don't ask an employee who is looking at unemployment to feel your pain.

I know a few people who have had this line said to them and each of them, to a person, has said that it was the ultimate insult. Having heard that line myself once, I know it's often everything you can do not to look at the person delivering it and say, "Somehow I really doubt that, you ass."

Moving on...

2. If you're into mysteries, this article in the Telegraph UK was fun. It features an interview with one of the quintessential mystery writers of the 20th century, P.D. James. Coincidentally, this morning I had an email from Shelfari saying that the top award winners of 2009 include C.J. Box's Blue Heaven. If you want a gritty mystery, I suggest Box. His books are excellent!

Now I just need to figure out how to get his last three books. Amazon.com here I come. Could this be an excuse to get a Kindle?? Hm.

3. Then there's this article about Carl Jung and The Holy Grail of the Unconscious from The New York Times magazine. It's rather lengthy and I confess I haven't read the entire article, but I'm working on it. What I have read so far is quite interesting. If you enjoy psychology, definitely give this a look.

How do you feel about that?

4. Some of the stuff my brother sends me isn't always fun, but it is educational and even a little frightening. For example, an article from CNET about bat flu that was fascinating, largely because I learned about an animal disease lab not too far from Manhattan, NY, on Long Island known as Plum Island. As if that wasn't somewhat frightening enough, the article mentions a new facility slated for Manhattan, KS. The one upshot to Nation prepares for deadly bat virus was, I was able to forward it on to a friend who works in public health and may be moving to Kansas in a year or two. Job opp.

Now, where's my hand sanitizer?

I've saved the best for last. In fact, his email this morning was the inspiration for this blog entry.

5. As many of you know, I lived in Austria 20 years ago. What you may not know is, Austria is the official home of Wiener Schnitzel. No, not the tacky hot dog joint. I'm talking about the gustatory wonder that is breaded and fried veal or pork. This morning's email subject line simply said: "Another reason to visit NYC..." Then there was the usual, lone link, which led to this:

I ♥ schnitzel!

Look out taco trucks! The schnitzel has arrived! I'll tell you, New York City has everything. If you're living in the Big Apple and you see this truck, please have a schnitzel for me.

Now please tell me that last link made you smile? Compared to the first link, it should have or you're fired! And leave the schnitzel behind, because that will definitely hurt you as much as it hurts me. In the waistline.

*****

Finally, as this is Friday, here's this week's photo. Happy (Photo) Friday, folks! Have a great weekend.

Modestes : Museum of the Int'l Red Cross/Red Crescent : Geneva, CH

Photo sources: Drive-in Theater.com and Schnitzel & Things.
Photo copyright for Modestes: D.C. Confidential, 11/09

Risk Factors and the Edge of the Universe

2009-11-19T09:24:00.008+01:00

You've heard about this swine flu thing going around, right? Pandemic Influenza A (H1N1) 2009 virus?

Seems the Jolly Ol' Elf himself, Santa Claus, wants to be in the priority group of individuals who are at risk for severe illness and who should be among the first in line to receive the H1N1 vaccine. From the University of Minnesota's Center for Infectious Disease Research & Policy's Daily News Headlines:

Santa groups air pandemic flu concerns
Santa workers and volunteers are seeking ways to prevent novel H1N1 infection during the holiday season, the Associated Press (AP) reported. One trade group urged its members to use hand sanitizer and take vitamins and the public to keep sick children home. The president of another group asked state lawmakers to consider prioritizing Santa for H1N1 vaccine, given that many are exposed to sick children and are obese, which has been identified as a high-risk condition. [Nov 17 AP story] (Emphasis and double emphasis added.)

In other news, it has also been brought to my attention that the edge of the universe is graph paper.

That is all. You may now go back to business as usual.

Photo source: The Hollywood Roaster.

If you weren't awake before, I'll bet you are now!

2009-11-18T06:00:00.000+01:00

Boo!

My work here is done for the day. I'm going home.

Kaythanksbyebye.

Können Sie Deutsch oder irgend eine andere Sprache als Englisch?

2009-11-17T06:00:00.002+01:00

If you can read and translate that headline without using a dictionary or Google Translator, congratulations!

Today, the Washington Post is running a story about a debate going on in the Fairfax County School District over foreign language courses and whether early secondary language acquisition is "fundamental or a frill." In tight economic times, languages and the arts are generally the first to go. (Meanwhile, over at the Pentagon, they continue to have all the guns and bombs and WMD they need without holding a single bake sale or being accountable to the American taxpayer. But I stray.)

As an American living overseas, I'm a strong proponent of language acquisition for a few reasons.

1. While many in the world, particularly in Europe and South East Asia, can speak English, that doesn't mean we shouldn't speak other languages.

2. Many in the world can speak English. And French. And Spanish. And Chinese. At the organization where I work, many documents and nearly all high-level meetings are held in what are known as "The Six Official Languages": English, French, Spanish, Arabic, Russian, and Mandarin Chinese. Most of the people I work with speak not only their own mother tongue, but also English, French, and one or two other languages.

3. I am constantly asked, as an American, why Americans aren't language proficient. We're often perceived as insular and uneducated, because we can't function outside of English and we come across as pushy, rude, impatient, and disgusted that others would actually deign to speak their own language and not ours! Our continual insistence that others speak English is sometimes seen as a way to compensate for our boorish lack of ability or willingness to make an effort. (Sorry to seem so harsh, but there you have it.)

4. Learning another language opens your eyes to the world around you and teaches you that the American way of seeing or doing things isn't the only way, or even the right way, of seeing and doing things. I'm not suggesting that learning French (or any other language, for that matter) will cause you to suddenly become a socialist or a political philosopher, but it will open you to a whole new way of thinking and being.

5. It's never too early to learn a language. Even as the world becomes more of a global village and less of a collection of nationalist rants, the fact is some nations will remain more powerful than others. And I'm not talking about the United States here, folks. My prediction is that Mandarin Chinese, along with English, will become the lingua franca of the world by the end of this century. My suggestion: get ahead of the curve and learn Chinese now. Otherwise, we'll really be left in the dust.

*****

I'm glad I have some foreign language skills. It's nice to be able to walk into a store in Switzerland, pick up a package or an item and know what it is because the label is printed in German, French, and Italian. I'm literate in German, so I'm empowered.

In France, I often feel lost, because everything is in French. In France, I often feel and am functionally illiterate. It's not a good feeling. But it's one that has given me a whole new perspective on the immigrant experience in the United States. Yes, immigrants need to learn English, but cut 'em a little slack. It's overwhelming and takes time.

If I stay through next year, which is looking likely, I am determined to learn enough French to be able to read the labels at the grocery stores in France, ask for directions, and order off of a menu without then turning to a friend for a translation of the waiter's question regarding my water: Do I want it with or without gas?

*****

Despite my obvious and painful lack of French language ability, I do make an effort to speak French when I interact with the French. I don't insist on English and, while I don't outright apologize for my inability to speak their language, I do try to be humble about it. The result is, through a bit of sign language and broken bits of English and some scattered French here and there, I end up with what I need. Ultimately, I am always grateful for their help and they're generally always glad to assist.

But that's still no excuse. Learning French is, for me, a must! And speaking German, when I'm in places where German is spoken, is practically an absolute. I'm in their country. I'm going to speak their language.

Maybe I'm an elitist, socialist, intellectual snob (I've been called worse things) and maybe I'm not making myself very clear here, but seeing the world through another language is enjoyable and humbling. It also earns me Brownie points with my colleagues, when I can show I'm able to step outside my nationalist context and be comfortable as a citizen of the world.

*****

One thing I have learned: be careful where you use your language skills.

As I am interacting and working in French-speaking Switzerland, I often ask the Swiss "Parle vous Anglais?" If they say no, I ask, "Können Sie Deutsch?" The Swiss know one or the other or both, because they're required to learn their regional language and at least one of the other three official languages of Switzerland. English is generally a given, as well.

Asking a Swiss citizen, "Können Sie Deutsch?" is totally appropriate and is never met with incredulity or disgust.

The same is not an option in France. But sometimes you have to be stupid, like me, and learn this the hard way.

On a few occasions, when I've asked French people if they can speak English and I'm told "no", I've innocuously followed it up with "Können Sie Deutsch?"

This, my friends, is a mistake. They won't say as much, because the French are diplomatic. What they will do is give you a very firm "no" and then look at you in a way that says, "You stupid idiot. Of course we don't speak German! Would you speak German if your country had spent the last several centuries being repeatedly invaded by the German's?! Not speaking German is a point of national pride."

The only place where German is spoken in France is the Alsace-Lorraine. It's okay to speak German there. Otherwise, ixnay on on the ermanjay! I'm just sayin'...

*****

All of that said, here's my advice to Fairfax County, if anyone is listening. Language acquisition is not a frill and it should be as fundamental as math, science, the arts, and English. It can be, and is, a key component in making us well-rounded, articulate citizens not only in our own country, but in the world.

*****

Alles Gute und schönen Tag noch! Auf Weidersehen!

Photo copyright: D.C. Confidential, 06/09, Winstub du Sommelier, Bergheim, France.

How Many Trees Had to Die...

2009-11-16T06:15:00.004+01:00

...so Sarah Palin could regale us with her prose and folksy you-betcha wit and wisdom?

Honestly, will this woman not go away already? Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!

I'm half tempted to buy her book and read it just so I can counterpoint it with intelligence. On the other hand, as my ex often says, "There are so many other good books to read and so little time. Why waste it on trash?"

*****

Okay, left-leaning rant over, let's get down to business...

Attention friends who are conservative and/or who vote Republican: I'm being serious here when I ask this, so please don't think I'm trying to be a smartass or anything. Can you tell me, please, what is it about Sarah Palin that makes her so attractive? How will she save the GOP? What will she do for America that will be immediately and historically positive?

I'm not being funny here. I'm being serious. I truly want to know, because I'm at a loss to understand how this woman is worth the-more-than-15 minutes of fame she's been graciously afforded.

The comment box is open and I would ask for diplomacy and restraint, please. I don't want a fight in the comments section. I'm just seeking further light and knowledge.

Giving Up. Or, My Headlines Will Be Singular Again. EOM.

2009-11-15T06:15:00.006+01:00

Yeah, I'm not really going to write about what's in my title. Let's just say the dual headlines are ending. They're too haaaaaaaard.

*****

I learned a great acronym the other day: EOM. I'd never seen this one before. In business email, I've seen COB, B2B, JIT, PoP, SIC, SWOT, VO, Yuppie, and Buppie, not to mention the alphabet soup that comes with working in Washington, D.C., or for an international organization.

And then there's all of the text messaging/SMS'ing shorthand: Whts YR 411?, RU there?, Mt @ mrkt tmrrw am?, and so on. Half the time, it takes me longer to figure out what the hell the person is trying to tell me in textspeak than it would have if they had just been less lazy and actually written it all out, thereby saving us all a lot of grief and headscratching. Pictograms, Pictionary, and personalized license plates are easier! But don't even get me started. Suffice to say, I'm one of the few people I know who uses capital letters, grammar, and full punctuation in my email and text messaging.

Anyway--back to EOM. As I said, I had never seen this one before. Ironically, it appeared in an email from my colleague whose purpose it is in life to eliminate the use of acronyms. When I saw it in the subject line of said email from her, I had to ask, "What is EOM?"

It's an acronym that you put at the end of an email subject line that stands for "End of Message." It means you're not going to write any text in the body of the email and the subject line is your message, full stop.

I did not know this.

Did you know this?

What are your favorite and least favorite acronyms? (And be sure to provide their meanings or I might have to show my stupidity and ask.)

Photo source: Simon Fraser University, School of Applied Sciences

Exhausted. Or, Why Can't Communicating Be Easier.

2009-11-14T20:30:00.001+01:00

Today, Emm and I went to Lausanne to have lunch with her father's relatives. Even under the best of circumstances, visiting family can require energy and being on one's best behavior. When we visit Emm's family, though, it requires colossal efforts in language, which can sap you to the core. Here's why:

Our hosts, Anna-Maria and Paul speak French, German, Italian, and English.

Anna-Maria's sister, Marie-Angela, speaks Italian, French, and English and her brother-in-law, Pietro, speaks Italian and French.

Emm and I speak English and German and Emm understands some Italian.

Paul is sitting to my left and Pietro is across from me. Emm is on my right. To Emm's right is Anna-Maria and across from her is Marie-Angela.

Paul's preferred language when we're around is German, which neither Marie-Angela nor Pietro speak. When conversing with Anna-Maria and Marie-Angela, the language of choice is English, which Pietro understands, but can't speak.

At some point in all of the conversing, I exchange thoughts and pleasantries with Anna-Maria in English, German, and a tiny, pathetic smattering of French.

Meanwhile, Emm is trying to converse with Pietro in English, while Paul keeps talking in German. This requires back and forth translations between the three with Emm talking in English and German, Paul talking in German and Italian, and Pietro talking in Italian and French.

Wars have been started over this stuff, people! And yet, a very fine time was had by all. We both enjoyed lunch with the relatives and visiting Lausanne, but Lordy what I wouldn't give for one of those Universal Translator thingamadoujies from Star Trek!

Photo source: Google Images.

13. Or, Why I Like Where I Work and Live.

2009-11-13T06:15:00.004+01:00

Happy Friday the 13th, everyone!

Thirteen Reasons Why I Like My Job and Where I'm Living Right Now

1. Because the alternative is a bad option.
2. Because it puts me in contact with people every day and that's always a good thing.
3. Because I'm working on a topic that is interesting and constantly changing.
4. Because I'm working with really good people from all over the world. It amazes me that such a large group of people, whose first language often isn't English, are able to come together and get stuff done despite the differences in language and culture and ethnicity. It is, frankly, exhilarating.
5. Because going to the farmer's market on a Saturday is just a hop, skip, and a jump from our apartment.
6. Because French butter with large grains of sea salt and Savoyard pain au levain naturel bread is yummiliscious!
7. Because seeing the old world as a citizen of the new world gives me better perspective on the benefits and detractors of both.
8. Because I get to see buffalo every morning on my drive into work!
9. Because I'm living near friends I like (hi Mr. and Ms. Swizzies and Dr. Lala!) and am making new friends (hi JJ, TD, PA, HM, DN, FM, and CA!) and I'm living with someone I love.
10. Because every few weeks I can go shopping at the most fabulous grocery store in all of Europe. (The website doesn't look like much, but trust me when I tell you Hieber's Frischmarkt is HEAVEN!)
11. Because I've had the opportunity to visit the Alsace-Lorraine, fall in love with Paris, spend time relaxing in Provence, go to the Alpage in Annecy, enjoy the beauty of Basel, take in the alpine beauty in Interlaken, wander around Geneva and Lausanne, and finally make it to Italy ('cause the last time I lived in Europe, I lived right across the street from Italy and we weren't allowed to cross the border.) I hope to see more of this great continent in the weeks and months ahead.
12. Because what's not to love about fondue and raclette? Mmmmm. Cheesy goodness.
13. Because I'm living across the street from Switzerland!

And, as it's Friday, here's a photo. Happy (Photo) Friday, too, folks! Bon weekend!

Goatherder : Alpage : Annecy, FR

Photo copyright: D.C. Confidential, 10/09

Gmail. Or, I've Finally Entered the 21st Century.

2009-11-12T22:30:00.003+01:00

For years, I've used AOL as my primary email provider. Today, I'm pleased to announce, I have entered the 21st century and have officially signed up with Gmail.

Okay, okay. That's not entirely true. I signed up for Gmail more than a year ago. But I don't like my username, the account is a cesspool of spam, and since I didn't have it downloading into Entourage (Outlook for Mac), I didn't really bother.

Today, however, I created an account using my name and I'm now hooked into iGoogle, which includes a calendar feature for tracking all of our social engagements. Woo hoo and yippee!

I'm going to test drive Gmail in Entourage for a week or two and see what I think. If I like it and it isn't too spammy, I'll keep it. If it spams me to distraction, we'll forget any of this ever happened and I'll go to trusty, musty AOL.

And that concludes this blog entry, which is totally lame. Unfortunately, I'm tired and I'm going to bed.

Good night!

Thankful. Or, Why I Miss My Grandpa On This Particular Day Every Year.

2009-11-11T18:30:00.001+01:00

Today is Armistice Day in France. In the U.S., it's Veteran's Day. For the French, this day commemorates the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month in 1918 when hostilities between Germany and France ceased and ended World War I. For Americans, it's a day to honor our men and women in uniform who have served their country with honor and dignity.

Up until three years ago, I would call my grandfather on Veteran's Day and thank him for his service to our country as a solider in Patton's Army during World War II. Now that I'm living in Europe and seeing some of the places he spent time in and then later revisited with my grandmother in the 1970s, I have a renewed appreciation for his service and sacrifice. He, along with those of his band of brothers, fought and died not just for our nation, but for the peoples of Europe.

To all those who have worn the uniform of the United States Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force, Coast Guard, and Merchant Marine, past and present, thank you.

And thanks Mugwump. I miss you.

Fair Enough. Or, A Step in the Right Direction. And Yet...

2009-11-10T23:59:00.003+01:00

Seems Salt Lake City, with the blessing of the Utah-based Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, has passed an ordinance making it illegal to discriminate against gays and lesbians when it comes to housing and employment. Fair enough. And thank you.

But what irked me in the Washington Post's coverage* of this is this statement by Church spokesperson, Michael Otterson:

"The church supports these ordinances because they are fair and reasonable and do not do violence to the institution of marriage," Michael Otterson, the director of public affairs for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints said.

The emphasis is mine and begs this question: how do marriage rights for same-sex couples incite violence against the "traditional" institution of marriage?

First of all, the use of the word violence is inflammatory and incites fear and hatred. Secondly, and I've said this before, the institution of marriage as managed by hetrosexual couples doesn't exactly have a stellar record of non-violence or wholly-owned and utter sanctity. And thirdly, discrimination is discrimination, regardless of the demographic. Laws like this shouldn't require the blessing or sanction of any church.

That is all.

* The same quote can be found in the Salt Lake Tribune's coverage, too.

Business. Or, What Is None of Mine?

2009-11-09T08:24:00.006+01:00

Rethinking : Museum of the International Red Cross : Geneva, CH

The other day, a friend forwarded me one of those chain emails that is full of wit and wisdom and requires forwarding to seven other people so I'll have good luck. I always read them, but with the rarest of rare exceptions, I almost never forward them along to others. Anyway--that's not the point of this entry. The point is, the email from the friend had a nugget in it that has had me pondering for some days now.

This is the nugget from a 95-year old grandmother in Florida:

What others think of you is none of your business.

I had things I was going to write about this, or so I thought. Instead I'm going to ask you, my faithful readers, what do you think?* Eventually I'll come back to this and write some more, because I struggle mightily with this and I know others who do, too. Eventually, I'd rather not, but for now it has set me to ponderin'.

* I'm asking what you think about the statement and not what you think of me. The former is of great interest to me. The latter is none of my business. :-)

Aaaaaah. Or, How a Remake of Mary Poppins Can Be Scary.

2009-11-08T08:20:00.005+01:00

This is a lame entry, but I just watched this YouTube video on a friend's Facebook page* and had to post it here. I love this movie, but this recut trailer puts a new twist on it that will scare the bejesus out of you. Here is Scary Mary. (And thanks, JA.)

* Again, damn Facebook!

Wow. Or, In Which I Stand Amazed.

2009-11-07T07:58:00.004+01:00

When you live overseas and you don't get the news in English on tv, you have to rely on things like World Radio Switzerland or online news to know what's going on at home. It was with sadness that I read yesterday about the men and women at Fort Hood who were attacked and killed by one of their own. I've been reading some of the coverage this morning in the Washington Post and these two paragraphs, in particular, struck me:

Within moments of the [exchange of gun]fire, [Police Officer Kimberly] Munley and [Major Nidal] Hasan lay on the ground near each other bleeding badly. Hasan's pistols and several magazines of ammunition lay splayed near his body. A soldier rushed up to Munley and fashioned his belt into a tourniquet to stem the bleeding from her thigh before an ambulance ferried the officer to the base hospital.

Medics stripped off Hasan's camouflage top and began to treat his bullet wounds and pump plasma into his body to keep him alive. (Emphasis added.) Hasan and three other badly injured soldiers were flown by helicopter to Scott & White Hospital in nearby Temple, Tex.

It's that highlighted sentence that blew me away. It didn't matter that Hasan was the man who wreaked carnage, a comrade in arms who betrayed his brothers. He was, in that heinous instant, a fellow solider who was wounded and down and others stepped in and followed through on their duty.

They could have left him there to die.

They could have picked up one of his guns and shot him dead.

They could have done any number of things, but instead they fought to save his life.

*****

My thoughts are with the men and women at Fort Hood and with all our brave men and women who stand at post every day. And my thoughts are with Major Hasan and his family, too. What a sad day.

Facebook. Or, How I've Eaten My Own Words. Again.

2009-11-06T06:15:00.002+01:00

Bread : Paris, FR

Remember back here when I said I wasn't going to get sucked into Facebook? Yeah, well, I lied.

Here are my status updates for the last couple of weeks.

My to-do list is longer than I am tall. And that's not difficult, because I'm not very tall.

I should be in bed, but instead I've been bitten by a mosquito THREE TIMES and now I'm up and wide awake. Dirty bastard mosquito!

Is it Friday yet? I need a vacation. Or a day off. I'd be fine with just that.

Wanted: Postcards.

Still six documents in the queue to be edited, because one was added to it today for a total of seven. But, no more headache or tummy ache. I've had a bath and some dinner and life is good.

Headache. Tummy ache. Dark and grey and rainy outside. And six documents in the queue to be edited. Bleh. I need a sick day, but no chance.

It's official. I'm declaring tomorrow a non-day. Monday will be moved to Tuesday and consolidated with Wednesday. That is all.

I'm starting a movement. I'm demanding that the international community (whoever that vague, amorphous entity may be) allow Hulu and Netflix users the right to stream their favorite television shows and movies regardless of their location outside the United States and the District of Columbia. In other words, I WANT TO USE MY NETFLIX SUBSCRIPTION AND WATCH THE MOVIES IN MY "INSTANT QUEUE," DAMN IT!

FB: What Pinky and the Brain were working on in their quest to "try to take over the WORLD!!!"

J. M. Tewkesbury is having a good outfit day. Where is Bob Crowe when I need a new head shot?!

Do you ever have days when all you want to do is get out your coloring books and crayons and spend the day coloring? Me, too.

"Today is a rather day."

Monday. Plechy.

Hm. I'm sensing a theme... Damn Facebook!

In the meantime, the above photo was taken in Paris this summer. Happy (Photo) Friday, friends!

To Do List. Or, The Realization that the Faster I Go, the Behinder I Get.

2009-11-05T23:15:00.001+01:00

11/05/09, 11:16:52 PM

TO DO:

__ Financial planning info to L.Basso
__ Expenses split with Emm
__ Blogging: COT and WDC
__ Blogging Tutorial: DJJ
__ Skype with BadAss
__ A.Christian's resume
__ Lands' End order
__ Camera research
__ Print sign for Rien a declarer Party
__ Swiffer floors
__ Vacuum carpet
__ Put cover on duvet for guest bed
__ Stash pictures
__ Register at Mobility.ch
__ Return rental car
__ Go to farmer's market (cheese, olives, baguettes)
__ Pick up plates in les Ollieres
__ Go to English book sale in Geneva
__ Update FB status
__ Send D.Farnsworth a postcard from France

What else is missing from my to-do list?

I'm going to bed...

Peripheral Vision. Or, How I Realized I Have Boobs.

2009-11-04T06:15:00.004+01:00

My breastesses have been a topic of conversation in my family for years. This is because the distribution of mammary matter among the women in my family has been disproportionate. I've never paid much attention to my mother's because they seem just about right. My sister ended up with more than a fair handful--a curse she hopes one day to alleviate. In the meantime, she continually threatens to wear a t-shirt to work that says, "My eyes are up here, moron" with arrows rising from her chest area to her face.¹

I, on the other hand, was a member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee (IBTC) for years!² Over the years, my breastessess have matured and filled out a bit more and I'm no longer sure I'd continue to meet the requirements for membership in the IBTC. Still, they aren't ginormous and for that I'm grateful. That said, I haven't exactly flattered or done favors for my figure in the last eight years either.

That's because about eight years ago, I discovered sports bras. Wonderful contraptions. They practically plaster your breasts to your chest and make them nearly immovable. This is a good thing, if you make exercising or any kind of sport a part of your lifestyle. On occasion, I have been known to exercise, hence the existence of sports bras in my life.

For months now, Emm has been telling me I need to get better bras, because apparently I have a figure. So, several weeks ago, she, my friend Ms. Swizzies, and I went clothes shopping. The last stop of the day before the mall closed at 6:00³ was Beldona's for bras. Both Emm and Ms. Swizzies insisted.

To make a long story short, Emm and Ms. Swizzies hauled out bras for me. Both of them--Emm more than Ms. Swizzies--woman-handled my breastesses into those bras, making an adjustment here and a push-up there and voila! My chest went from being an androgynous no-ma'am's land to hubba hubba!

Mission accomplished, I paid for my bras⁴ and off we went. I've been wearing those bras now for about a month and I will admit, they do flatter my figure and my assets far more than squishifying sports bras ever did, will, or could. Other than that, though, I haven't really noticed my breasts or the impact of a positive bra on the same.

So the other day, I'm walking down the hall at work. I generally try to look straight ahead when I'm walking. This seems to help me avoid running into things or people. Anyway--I'm proceeding along, looking straight ahead, when I suddenly become aware of something in my peripheral vision. It wasn't anything above or beside me, but rather, below me. With shocking clarity I realized, "I HAVE BOOBS!"

That's right, boys and girls. My bras have transformed my peripheral vision! I'm no longer a flat-chested bore. I'm a busty broad...

Oy, moron! *SLAP!* My eyes are up here!

1. I found this picture of said t-shirt on Zazzle. What I find intriguing is the model has virtually no breasts. Frankly, I think the model in this picture is a man with long hair. So much for truth in advertising!
2. I even have a t-shirt to prove it. I'd show it to you, but it's at home in the States.
3. Crazy, right? But hey, this was Switzerland. Apparently, it's a miracle they're even open that late on a Saturday!
4. Good Lord, but bras are expensive! I can get six sports bras at Jockey for what I paid for two bras at Beldona. Sheesh.

Photo sources: Google Images and Wikimedia.

Labels. Or How I Seem to Have Missed the Point of Effective Tagging.

2009-11-03T06:15:00.002+01:00

Day Three and I'm still blogging. Hi. My name is Jay and I'm still blogging...

In pursuit of all things blogginess, I decided to glance through my labels for this blog. Having done that, I then decided to click on a few of them and read a bit of my past writing. Sometimes, that's a good idea and sometimes, it's not. But that's not my point. The point is, I decided to glance through my labels for this blog and I discovered that my labels are useless in a Google search. Then I decided that was okay, because for the most part some of my labels rock. They aren't as good as the labels my friend Mary Ellen writes, though. I think I may outsource my labeling to her.

Having reviewed my labels, I offer you this ginormous cloud with some of my favorite labels. (Totally egotistical and self-absorbed? Yes. Totally lazy and a lameass excuse for not writing more? Yes. Totally new twist on a meme? Sure.) Some of the writing is better than most. In fact, I have to say, I'm especially proud of my coverage of the 2008 Presidential Campaign and I love many of the pieces I wrote as a result of noodling my navel while commuting.

40x40… A Few Kind Words… Ach Du Lieber… All Things Apple… All Things Books and Music… All Things Food and Cooking… All Things Green… All Things Movies and TV… America the Beautiful… And So This Is Christmas… Around the House… Around Town… Being Annoyingly Proud of Myself… Blogging and In the BIN… BumbleBees… Can't Sleep Count Sheep… Confession is Good for the Soul… Consumerism-The Second Great American Pasttime… Contributing to the Greater Blogness… Creeping Self-Doubt… Crimes Against Humanity… DBC… Democracy and Politics… Destroying My Faith in Humanity… Dirty Bastard Cat… Do Unto Others… Eating-The Great American Pasttime… Elsewhere On the Map… Ensuring Domestic Tranquility… Equality is the American Way… Expanding My Ego... Facebook …Family and Friends… Family-You CAN Live without Them… Fellow Writers… Figuring Out How to Stay on this Bloody Rollercoaster… Following Up on an Excellent Point… Forward Motion… Frieda Belle Calico… Fuck Fuck Fuckity Fuck… Funny Ha Ha… Gainful Employment… Get Out the Vote… Getting Back on the Horse… Getting Dotty in my Dotage… Getting Personal… Grateful… Happy Hour… Having My Say… Help Wanted… Holding Patterns… Holly in My Heart… How Sweet It Is… I Am So Over This Already… In the Neighborhood… Inauguration… Inconsiderate Behavior Pisses Me Off… Introductions… Island Living… JibJab… Können Sie Deutsch? … Left Coast… Lest We Forget… Living in Europe… Logos… Making a Difference… McCain-Palin Watch 2008… Meeting New People is Neat… Meme… Musings On Sleepless Nights… My Favorite Things… NaBloPoMo… New and Improved or SSDD? … Noodle Noodling… Obama… Obamapalooza… Officially Approved Holiday Greetings… On the Road… One-upsmanship Always Finds a Way… Out in the Real World… Palin Watch 2012… Parle Vous What… Peeling Away the Layers… People Watching… Photo Friday… Photography… Places I've Been… Postcards… Presidential… Prop H8… Putting the Fun Back in Church… Rachel Maddow is Goddess… Random Nothingness… Ranting as Only I Can… Rated-G… Rated-PG… Rated-R… Reading StatCounter… Religion and Society… Remembering 9-11… Republicans… Rest in Peace… Restoring My Faith in Humanity… Robert Kirby Rocks… ROTFLMAO… Running Away… Saving the Tatas One Squishification At a Time… Send Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld to the Hague… SFFH… Shooting Off My Camera… Sick and Wrong… Signs of Intelligent Life… Something for Everyone… Squeezing the Charmin… Starting Over---Again… Stop with the Hateful Rhetoric… Stroll Down Questionable Memory Lane… Stupid Tourists… Switzerland… TGIF… Seriously… The Gays… The Good Die Young… The Hamsters in My Head Are Unionizing… The Other Washington… Things That Make Me Peckish… Things that Make Me Peevish… Thoughts While I Commute… Too Much of a Good Thing… Travel… Traveling in the States… Trippy Dippy Family… Trying Not to be Miz-Ruh-Bull… Visiting the States… Viva la France… War Crimes… When Bloggers Meet… Where is the Rum? Why is the Rum Gone? … Whirled Peas… Wow… WTF?… Yes We Can… Yes We Can-Yes We Did-Yes We Will… You Had To Be There… YouTube…

The Fall

Photo copyright: D.C. Confidential

Dairy Yen. Or, How I am Slaughtering French One Word at a Time.

2009-11-02T06:15:00.009+01:00

So the lingua franca around these parts is French. It's one of the six official languages of the organization where I work. It's one of the four official languages of Switzerland. And, it's the primary language of the country in which I'm living. That's all well and good, but I don't speak French.

I speak English.

I speak German.

I do not speak French.

Okay, that's a tiny bit of a lie. I speak about 15 words of French. The rest of my French--about five more words--I speak very badly. I'm intentional in that. It's the only way to be forgiven my transgression of not actually speaking the language of Voltaire and De Tocqueville and all those other brainy, democratic French folk.*

In fact, because my minimalist French is intentionally bad, it's a source of great humor to my French-born colleagues and friends.

For example, the other day, the production editor of a weekly report emailed me some bit of information about an available publication slot for an upcoming article. She thanked me for my help liaising with contributing authors. In reply to her, and knowing full well that she's 100% French,** I wrote:

Dairy Yen

JMT

A couple of hours later, I got a phone call from the production editor. As I picked up the phone and said, "This is Jay," my salutation was met with fits of laughter. Finally catching her breath, the production editor said to me, "Eye finolly feegured eet out!"***

"What's that?" I asked.

"Dairy yen," she said. "I kept reading zat over and over and I didn't geet eet. Zen I said eet out-loud--dairy yen--and I goot eet! So foony!"

We enjoyed a good laugh together and then we rang off. The rest of the week, every time the production editor saw me, she'd giggle and say, "Dairy yen."

I can't make heads or tails of French as it's spelled. Phonetically, though, I have a perfect grasp of it. Hence, de rien--French for "You're welcome"--comes out dairy yen.****

Makes sense to me.

Ah-ree-vor, mez-a-meeees!*****

* It should be noted that I'm actually not one of those Americans who slaughters languages with bad pronunciation and hopeless accents. Because I'm partially deaf, I have a propensity for mimicry. Ergo, I can do a decent British, Irish, and Scottish accent and my German aussprache is strong. The same is true with what little French I know. I can pronounce it correctly and I sound like I know how to speak French. But that's the rub: I can't.

** Although, that's questionable. Said production editor is from Alsace-Lorraine. That poor little slice of Europe has changed hands so many times and gone back and forth between the French and Germans so often, I know people who change their underwear less frequently than the Alsace-Lorraine has changed borders.

*** For future reference, I won't write out French dialogue in bad French accents. That's an insult to my French friends. Besides, their English is starting to sound normal to me and English/American English is sounding odd.

**** I make sure to say it with the worst possible American accent I can muster. That way, it's clear that I'm a) mocking my own people and b) mocking my own lack of French-speaking ability.

***** Update: Corrected to reflect JaneAnne's comment.

NBPM. Or, How I'm Getting Revenge for Being Bullied into Doing NaBloPoMo.

2009-11-01T06:15:00.004+01:00

First off, let me say that today is November 1 and it's the beginning of that annual Internets literary event known as NaBloPoMo. NBPM use to mean you'd write one blog post every day during the month of November. Now it means you'll write a novel with a minimum of 10,000 words per day or some crazy thing like that. I'm going to attempt to do the former again. I am not doing the latter.

The only reason I am even doing the former this month is because A) my office mate bullied me into it, B) my blog is lame as toast and needs a boost, and C) over dinner last night with the same office mate, I declared that writing was one of the two things I like to do in my free time. (The other thing I do in my free time is photography, which I've also been lame about, but that's a different tangent.) What I should have said was cooking is my other favorite pasttime, but I was a doh-head and didn't. If I had, I wouldn't be doing this NBPM* thing.

That housekeeping item out of the way, let's get things started, shall we?

So...

Ah, hell. Forget it. After that anti-climactic intro, I'm going to table today's entry for tomorrow. The wisdom in that is A) I can say I wrote and posted something today and B) I'll have a blog entry for tomorrow by putting off what I was originally going to write today. Here, have a picture instead.

Fall Fireworks : Geneva, Switzerland

* Note to my office mate: My deliberate creation and use of an acronym is intentional, because I know it will drive you nuts and you are out to eradicate acronyms from the face of the planet. I thought I'd let you start here! I'm generous that way. xoxo

"I'm With the Taliban Against America." Yeah, That's a Winner, Ya Wankers!

2009-10-13T07:29:00.002+02:00

Ah, the Republicans and their pundits. I know not all Republicans think like Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, or Bill O'Reilly, but seriously? Those dudes are making any of you who belong to the Republican Party and have even a smidgen of brain matter and firing synapses look stupid. Really.

*****

It was refreshing this morning to pop open the Washington Post and read these two columns by Eugene Robinson and Richard Cohen. Both validated my sentiments and writing. Maybe I should enter the Post's contest to be a weekly columnist. Or not. Here is:

Obama's High Bar

and

A Nobel for Us

It's the economy, stupid...

2009-10-12T14:08:00.003+02:00

Seems that's why John McCain lost the election to Barack Obama. And I quote from the Washington Post: "There are fundamental facts...that cannot be denied," McCain said. "When we selected or asked Sarah Palin to be my running mate, it energized our party. We were ahead in the polls, until the stock market crashed. And she still is a formidable force in the Republican Party." (Emphasis added.)

Bwahahahahahahaha...

Ooooh. *wipes tear from corner of eye* That's precious. You keep telling yourself that, John.

If you want to read the entire article and enjoy equal parts hilarity and foreboding, go here. And, as I said before, if Sarah Palin is the hope of the GOP, even God-in-their-likeness can't help them!

Perspective on Obama's Nobel Peace Prize

2009-10-10T08:29:00.005+02:00

Yesterday, I was standing in the corridor at work discussing with a technical officer a document I was editing when one of his colleagues came out and said, "Barack Obama just won the Nobel Peace Prize."

What followed was stunned silence on my part and exuberance on the part of the non-Americans. Stunned because although I voted for President Obama and I fully support his efforts at home and abroad, I am still waiting to see results on the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the closure of Guantanamo Bay, improvements in the U.S. economy and employment situations, universal healthcare, efforts to combat climate change, and the extension of basic human rights to all peoples. I don't expect miracles overnight, like some Americans and President Obama's worst critics do. I believe change can be both immediate and measured; the president will get results by being bold and swift and methodical and deliberate.

But the Nobel Peace Prize? Already? I think it's a bit premature.

Our European friends generally see America as moving back toward policies that embody peace and universal human rights and President Obama is a hopeful, credible messenger of that cause. After eight years of cowboy diplomacy, the Obama Administration is correcting that course and sending signals that shock and awe is bad policy. On a continent and in countries where wars have had devastating consequences in the last century and where nationalism is still a value, but cooperation is seen as a necessity, peace is a relevant and worthy value.

As I stood in the corridor accepting the congratulations of many of my colleagues, my stupor was broken by a gentleman from Great Britain who offered this agreeable perspective and opinion:

"The Nobel Prize," he posited, "shouldn't be awarded to President Obama. It should be given to the American people for having the courage to elect a man to office who will, hopefully, bring peace to the world."

To that I can say "Amen" and congratulations to the American people.

Photo and graphics source: Google Images

Okay Then. Now What?

2009-09-30T12:15:00.002+02:00

So, I've been in Europe now for a little over four months. I enjoy the organization where I'm working and the people with whom I work. It's a big organization and part of a larger body of organizations that are doing good in the world. Sometimes, though, I think because of the size of the organization certain procedures get lost and are egregiously after-the-fact. I'm not saying this makes the organization a bad place to work, but it certainly makes it amusing.

Case in point: when I arrived, I expected there might be some kind of new employee orientation program. It's possible that because I am here as a contractor such a function does not exist, since it would be silly or an inefficient use of time and resources to orientate a contractor who might only be here a few weeks or months.¹

So today, I get a group email from one of our support service offices telling me that as a new employee I can take advantage of training and support provided by the IT department. The email welcomes me to the organization and recommends that I take the new employee orientation program to learn how to use my email mailbox.²

It then goes on to describe³ the orientation class for new staff and says,

"Our orientation classes are a program made up of three progressive steps. The steps are designed to cover information and topics most useful to staff in their first few months at the organization. These courses are held on a regular basis. In the past, new staff have told us that they regretted not registering for these classes shortly after arriving at the organization.⁴ To learn more and to register, please click here."

So, I click on the link provided and end up on a page that says this:

Introduction Program for New Staff, Part I

FOR THE TIME BEING, THERE ARE NO PLANS TO HOLD ANY INTRODUCTORY SESSIONS IN VIEW OF THE TRAINING ROLLOUT FOR OUR FINANCIAL AND AUDITING SYSTEM. The primary goal of the introductory class is to provide new staff with an overview of the work and functions of the organization.

So much for not having any regrets.

1. Hell, I can't even get one of the official, non-disposable drinking glasses that are issued to staff, because I'm a contractor. Whatever. I'm resourceful. I've just snagged a logo-less one from the cafeteria. Voila!
2. I've been here since May. It's now nearly October! If I haven't figured that out by now, I'm screwed. Besides, it's Microsoft Outlook. What's to learn?!
3. Text has been edited to protect the innocent! That would be me.
4. For some reason, a less-than-glowing review is often seen as an endorsement of how good a program is and why you should sign up. I don't know if this is a European thing or what, but I see stuff like this all the time. Sort of a reverse-psychology kind of thing. As an American accustomed to being assaulted by all the reasons why I should buy into something, this is sort of an odd take.

Photo copyright: Photo S.A.

Pimpin' to the Village Idiots

2009-09-19T07:52:00.003+02:00

Living overseas, I swore I'd stay on top of the news out of Washington while I was over here, but it's difficult when CNN is the international version and you can only read so much of the Washington Post. Thankfully there's Facebook. This clip from Rachel Maddow's show is courtesy of my friend Sideon.

Attn: D.C. Bloggers -- Help with a Piece of Furniture

2009-09-18T16:53:00.003+02:00

Given the breadth of the blogging community in D.C., I'm posting this to see if anyone has any ideas or leads. This request was posted on the intranet of the organization I'm working for.

Title:
Anyone moving from Washington D.C. area to Geneva, Switzerland?

Announcement:
We are looking for someone moving from DC area to Geneva who might be willing to include in their shipment, an antique piece of furniture we recently inherited from a deceased, beloved grandmother. If you know of anyone, please let me know. Thanks ++

Like the announcement says, if you know of anyone, let me know and I'll pass the information along to the person who posted this.

Thanks!

Duly Noted...

2009-09-14T21:00:00.003+02:00

This is the first year I haven't been in the States on September 11. While September 11 is not insignificant to our European neighbors, it also isn't memorialized with wall-to-wall coverage in the days leading up to and on the date itself like it is in the States.

While I haven't forgotten the significance of this date or its impact on the lives of thousands of individuals and families, I also didn't miss the coverage and the replay of planes crashing into towers, people jumping from unfathomable stories, or montages of memorial benches outside the Pentagon. My mind this past weekend was focused on how I can get out of my own little world of self-focus and self-absorption and give back to the community and how I can do something positive to counteract one of America's most horrific days.

I'm still working on that, but in the meantime, someone on Facebook mentioned this site built by a young woman who was born on September 11 and was 10 years old on that day in 2001. I love her idea and the belief that the good that was born on that day can counteract the bad that was done.

*****

Switching gears for a bit, my friends Gilahi and L.A. Cochran crack me up and are two of my favorite people. Recently, Gilahi reported on a conversation regarding the origin and chemistry of soap that absolutely cracked me up. Here is In a Land Called Honalee.

I've been catching up a bit on my blog reading, having fallen pathetically behind. There are two things I want for Christmas this year: this ice cube tray and, thanks to my friend NG who brought this must-have to my attention, a Boo Boo Bunny. Don't you think that would be perfect during a migraine? I'm thinking, "Yeah."

*****

Comestibles that make me love living in Europe:

Darbo Jams from Austria

Almdudler, the national soft drink of Austria

Teekanne FixMinze Tea from Germany

President Butter (with large grains of sea salt) from France*

Croissants from Sébastien Brocard in St-Genis, France

Raclette, fondue, and rösti from Switzerland

*****

There you have it. Not sure this restores my blog mojo, but it's a start.

* Before all you foodies and Francophiles go busting my chops about how President Butter is so not good butter, please note this: I know there are better French butters. The best French butters come from family-owned dairies and can be found in the farmers' markets throughout the country. For a commercial brand, though, President Butter with large grains of sea salt is quite good. So is Payson-Breton butter. Let me put it another way: even the suckiest, most commercial French butter is better than almost all other butters. I've heard Swedish butter surpasses them all, but I haven't had Swedish butter yet, so I wouldn't know definitively.

Random Nothingness

2009-09-11T07:26:00.005+02:00

I've got nothing, except this side-by-side comparison:

On the left, the European symbol for the Autoroute / Autobahn / Autostrada and,
on the right, the logo for the upcoming Olympics in Vancouver, Canada. Hm.

Is it just me, or does it look like the folks who created the logo for the Vancouver 2010 Olympics were inspired by the European auto route symbol?

Let's punch it up a notch. This is my new profile picture on my Facebook account. I made it using this site. I'm sure there's nothing unique about me doing it. I just needed a little more filler here.

Not entirely accurate. I don't wear lipstick and I don't have cool glasses,
but it was either this or a dress and we know that ain't gonna happen!

Also, I think this looks nothing like me, but a lot like my high school friend Laura Sumison. Not a lot of choice for women of my dapperness on the Mad Men site.

See? Random nothingness. I need to get my blog mojo back.

Creative Truth Telling...

2009-08-19T18:00:00.000+02:00

Wine at Sunset : Provence, FR

This weekend was spent in Provence at the vacation home of a man who is a connoisseur of wine. He and his wife were gracious hosts and we tasted a number of good champagnes (including a LaFitte) and a few good wines. I can't say I'm completely convinced that wine is the staff of life or whatever and I'd still much rather cook with it than drink it, but at least I can finally say I've had a few decent vintages.

That said, returning to work presented a fun moment. I've tried to take a friend's advice--though not always successfully--about not sharing information about myself at work, not opening doors, etc. So today, when one of the department secretaries, a lovely woman from Africa I'll call Cece, said to me, "I noticed you were gone, but I didn't miss you. Did you do something fun?" I didn't give a full-bodied response. (No pun intended.) Instead, I latched onto her prior statement, laughed heartily and replied, "I'm not sure how to take that!"

What I really wish I'd said was, "I was away at a retreat learning the proper application of alcohol as a tool for mitigating the spread of community outbreaks."

Obviously my current job is rubbing off on me. (Also no pun intended.)

:-)

When Did Getting a Glass of Water Become So Difficult?!

2009-08-10T12:00:00.003+02:00

Water in a wine glass / Paris, FR

Water.

Simple liquid. Covers 2/3 of the earth's surface area. Comprises 2/3 of our physiological make-up. Usually the main ingredient in juices, shampoos, perfumes, and various other liquidy things. In the States, when you go to a restaurant, it's generally the first thing they bring you before they take your drink, appetizer, entree, or dessert order.

Around here? Not so simple.

It isn't a given the minute you sit down at a restaurant. You have to ask for it. Then begins a catechism that makes the Holy Roman Catholic Church's version look benign in comparison.

Would you like that with ice or without?

Do you want gassy, natural, or tap?

Would you like French, Swiss or Italian?

Do you prefer water from the alps or water from the lake?

Would you like a glass, a bottle, or a carafe?

Do you want your own or will you share?

Would you like that now or later?

Do you believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth, of all that is seen and unseen, and in His Son, Jesus Christ and in the Holy Spirit?

Oh, sorry. Bit distracted there...

My point is: Good God, folks! It's water! All I want is water! How hard can it be?

Hmph. Rant over.

Rumors of My Demise Are Greatly Exaggerated...

2009-07-17T12:00:00.002+02:00

Jet d'eau and Carousel : Geneva, CH

(Click image to enlarge.)

Still plugging away in Switzerland. My original contract ended on June 30 and I started a new one the next day. I'm here at least through August 31, but possibly longer, if I want. The $64,000 question is: do I want?

Creeping irrationalities slither in and make me doubt myself and whether I'm a value-add. Solid rationalities stand opposite and say, of course I am. Somewhere in the middle lies the truth.

Anyway--getting back on track with this sad and lonely blog, today is Photo Friday. The photo above was taken last Friday, at the edge of Geneva's harbor at the southern end of Lac Leman--Europe's largest freshwater lake.

Happy (Photo) Friday, friends!

In Which I Go to the Pharmacy in France to Pick Up My Prescription...

2009-06-11T06:45:00.004+02:00

And Am Utterly Gobsmacked by the Price...

I don't know whether to write this as a story or as an open letter to President Obama. Knowing that he already believes we need universal health care, I doubt anything I'm about to say would make a difference or would move him any faster. Perhaps the people I need to be writing to are in Congress, but they're a bunch of useless, bickering schlubs, so I guess I'll just go with the story and hope that maybe, just maybe, we'll acheive univeral coverage for all Americans before the turn of the next century. One can dream, right?

One of the requirements for working at the organization I'm working at is, you have to have a basic physical. I wasn't able to do that before I left the States, so I had to do it here. Fortunately, the org where I work has a fully staffed, on site clinic. So, I made an appointment and had a physical. Part of the process includes meeting with the on site doctor, which I did. Lovely lady whose English wasn't that great, but who spoke French and German. My French sucks (read: is totally non-existent except for a few words like hello, thank you, and wonderful!), but I can do German, so that's what we did.

Anyway--I mentioned to her my history of migraine and told her that I take, as needed, a lovely little pill called Relpax. I told her I had one pill left and wondered if she could write me a script, because I'd left my script at home. She promptly wrote it out and then advised me to pick it up at a pharmacy in France because it would be cheaper than getting it in Switzerland.

Bear in mind two things here. First, I'm self-employed, which means I'm one of the more than 40 million Americans without health insurance. Second, when I have to pick up a prescription, I have to pay for it out-of-pocket. As a result, my medicine is very, very expensive and I'm very careful about when I use it. In the U.S., six tablets of 40 mg Relpax--the standard dispensed dosage--is between US$190 and US$230 a box. That's about US$32-US$38 per pill. Needless to say, I only take one if I absolutely have to, which is further to say that if the two Advil migraine and two regular Advil I take together don't work at the outset of a migraine, I'm reduced to taking one of my very expensive pills.

When the doctor said, "Go to France; it's cheaper," I figured "cheaper" would mean I'd be paying around €110 - €150 (around US$150 - US$210) for the stuff. In preparation for that, I pulled out my Visa card and braced myself. Then, I handed the script to the pharmacist. She went behind the wall, pulled it off the shelf, did a little bit of this and that on the computer, handed it to me and said, "€28,80."

*blink* *blink*

"Pardon? €28,80?" I asked in my best Franglish.

"Oui. €28,80."

I turned to my friend Sue, who comes with me to provide language services when I go to things like pharmacies and grocery stores and the like. "Did she say €28,80? As in two-eight? Twenty-eight euros?"

Sue confirmed that, yes, in fact, the pharmacist said "€28,80."

I think at that point, I had an out-of-body experience. I said, "€28,80?" then looked at the pharmacist and said, "In the United States, I'd pay $200 for these." Now it was her turn for an out-of-body experience. Sue had to translate that to her, despite her good English.

So, here's my question, ladies and gentlemen. Why can I get my migraine medication for US$40.44 in Europe--essentially the price of ONE pill in the States--but it costs me nearly US$200 in the United States for the exact same thing?!

Can someone please explain this inequity to me? Do pharmaceutical companies fleece us like this because they know they can?

Needless to say, I think I'm moving to France. At the very least for my pills, if nothing else. Forget the good butter and the good bread and the access to excellent chocolate, I want my pills.

And now, I'll go away. But before I do, I'm calling the doctor at the clinic and asking her to write me a script for 36 pills. €175 is still cheaper than I'd ever pay in the US.

Buffalo? In Switzerland?!

2009-05-31T09:58:00.003+02:00

Yoda-lay-hee-huh?!

So, I'm in Basel this weekend, visiting my friends Mr. and Mrs. Swizzies. On the road to Basel, we passed a pasture or two or ten. (This is Switzerland, you know. You can't help but pass a bucolic pasture or two or ten when you're on the road. Anyway...) At one point, I glance over to the right and there are buffalo.

Let me repeat that. Buffalo.

Buffalo in Switzerland.

I drove across the great American plains in March--through South Dakota and Wyoming, to be precise--and I did not see a single buffalo on the entire trip.

I travel over 5,000 from Seattle to Geneva and I see buffalo.

Go figure.

P.S. I would have taken a picture, but I was busy driving 120 kph on the autobahn. Doing a drive-by shooting seemed like a bad idea. Photo copyright: First People.

In Which I Learn to Navigate in Three Languages, And None of Them Well

2009-05-27T09:39:00.004+02:00

I've been in Geneva now for nearly a week. Still a little jet-lagged and trying to adapt to working in an office where air conditioning is not the norm. Plus, I don't speak French, so that's its own challenge. Still, I'm having a lovely time and am hoping this leads to a longer-term gig. All I know is, I don't want to blow this opportunity and I'm feeling a little gun shy from my last three jobs in D.C.--all of which did not end positively, but from which I learned a great deal.

Saturday, Dr. Lala and I (Dr. Lala's the friend I'm staying with in her home in the French countryside) went to the farmer's market in Geneva. I've seen some beautiful produce at markets when I lived in California, but this market put all those to shame. I found four varieties of radishes, five kinds of pineapple, three types of bananas, six kinds of strawberries, not to mention the countless varieties of mushrooms, artichokes, and aubergines to be had. Throw in a few cheese mongers and bread stands, as well as a couple of Basque butchers carving ham taken from pigs that are raised on nothing but black acorns, and you have a gastronome's heaven. And a photographer's, too!

Scattered throughout the fruit, vegetable, bread, cheese, and meat stands were flower vendors. Oh la la! The flowers, mon amis. The flowers. I spent a good fifteen minutes watching and photographing one couple who were working with the flower vendor to create a bouquet of roses and peonies and greenery that were stunning. But what struck me as much, if not more, than the flowers was the couple. I tried to photograph them in a way that captured the intimacy of their relationship without cluttering the picture with noise and busyness. I have to say, I think I'm kind of proud of the results.

I'm not going to write a lot here about where I work, except to say that what I'm doing is timely and collaborative and I'm enjoying it. The other day, I was in a meeting where only three of us were native English speakers. The rest of the participants were from Vietnam, Japan, Korea, Germany, Italy, The Netherlands, and France. What was exciting was watching all of these people from various cultures and languages work beyond their cultural differences and come together to do good for the people of the world. Pretty dang cool, if you ask me!

I'd love to send postcards to folks, but the damn things cost a fortune over here--CHF 1 or about $1.20/card. No thanks! To see more of what I'm seeing as I'm over here, visit D.C. Confidential.

Photo copyright: D.C. Confidential, 05/09

New (Temporary) Job Opportunity

2009-05-18T17:57:00.004+02:00

Hiking the paths at the base of El Capitan in Yosemite National Park last Wednesday, my cell phone rang. On the other end, a contact of mine at a client I have at a multi-national, intergovernmental agency. Would I be interested, she asked, in coming to Geneva, Switzerland, ASAP for at least a month or more to be an on-site editor and writer for them?

Um. YES!

Problem, though. I was still nearly 1,000 miles from my final destination and my passport was expired. The result: we spent Monday in San Francisco having my passport expedited, then finished driving up to Langley, Washington. I arrived Friday night (May 15) and am trying to get some of my boxes unpacked while also trying to pack for a six week stay in Geneva.

I'm bummed not to be starting my Whidbey Island Confidential blog and I still have five or six posts to put up on my D.C. Confidential blog finishing up our road trip across America. On the other hand, I'M GOING TO GENEVA, SWITZERLAND! Yoda-lay-hee-hoo!

So, I'll be blogging from Geneva and photographing life in Switzerland, France (where I'll be living), and any other countries I happen to visit during my days off. Stay tuned...

SHE LIVES!

2009-05-11T00:00:00.003+02:00

Jefferson's Monticello--the first stop on our road trip

Yes, it's true. The rumors about my continued existence are factual. I'm still alive. And still on the road.

For those who are curious--morbidly or otherwise--we left Washington on April 18. Three weeks and a day later, we're still on the road. Thus far, we've been to the following places:

Headstones in the abbey cemetery at
St. Bernards in Cullman, Alabama

Charlottesville, VA; Asheville, NC; Moore, SC; Atlanta, GA; Birmingham, AL; Meridian, MS; New Orleans and Vacherie, LA; San Antonio, Johnson City, Coleman, Glen Cove, Midland, and Odessa, TX; Carlsbad, Santa Fe, Las Trampas, Taos, and Acoma/Sky City, NM; Flagstaff, Sedona, and the Grand Canyon, AZ; Bakersfield, Yosemite, Cordelia, Fairfield, Concord, Berkeley, and San Francisco, CA.

The red rocks of Sedona, Arizona

Along the way, we've stayed with friends and family, as well as in a few Best Westerns and Motel 6s. In South Carolina, we stayed with my high school buddy, Senga Campbell and her partner Joni Casper. In Birmingham, we stayed with fellow photoblogger Virginia Jones.

The Acoma Pueblo in New Mexico

In New Orleans, we walked Bourbon Street and haven't been the same since. In Coleman and Glen Cove, we met my paternal grandmother's 93-year old sister, saw the farmstead where my grandmother and her four siblings grew up, and visited the graves of my great-grandparents and my great aunts. In Flagstaff, we stayed with Maya's parents.

My former mission companion and good friend,
Heidi Chartrand

In Bakersfield, we caught up with the only companion from my stint as an LDS missionary with whom I stay in contact--Heidi Chartrand. In Cordelia, we visited with my 95-year old grandmother and found her be more lucid and healthy than her 93-year old sister back in Texas.

Peppers a la Rothko in Taos, New Mexico

Over in Berkeley, I caught up with my dear friend and soon-to-be mother Thea Hillman. Then we went to the city and had dinner at my all time favorite restaurant in the whole wide world: Ti Couz. And last night and tonight, we've stayed with friend and fellow blogger Sideon and his partner Toz.

The water tower and windmill on the old farmstead where
my grandmother grew up in Glen Cove, Texas

By the end of the trip we'll have also been to Navarro, Fort Bragg, and Trinidad, CA; and Florence and Portland, OR. In the process of the last leg, we'll be staying with Cele on the Oregon Coast and seeing one of my Scary Feminist friends, JaneAnne, in Portland.

Church at Las Trampas, New Mexico

It's been a great trip so far. We kicked it off by seeing Jefferson's Monticello. That led us to the Biltmore Estate and Gardens--home of the Vanderbilts. Then we stopped in Atlanta for 15 minutes to see Stone Mountain. Virginia took us to see the Ave Maria Grotto in Cullman, Alabama.

Shan Little who makes art out of scrap metal

In Mississippi, we met a lesbian named Shan who makes art out of 55 gallon drum lids. In New Orleans, I was propositioned by a tuba player and we visited Oak Alley Plantation where we watched a young man propose to his girlfriend.

Lipan Point at the Grand Canyon

We've seen the Alamo, Carlsbad Caverns, the Grand Canyon, Yosemite, and two or three pueblos. We've had great hotel rooms and utter dives, fabulous wifi and crappy wifi. We've stayed with friends who have kids or grandkids and friends who have dogs and cats.

El Capitan and Half Dome in Yosemite National Park

I have a stack of unwritten postcards just dying for a home. If you'd like one, email me your address and I'll send you one. In the mean time, hope you enjoy this short collection of photos from the last three weeks. If you want to see more than this, visit D.C. Confidential.

My 95-year old grandmother

Photo copyright: D.C. Confidential

Every Hour Should Be Happy Hour!

2009-04-05T22:05:00.003+02:00

So, I guess I'm gonna have a happy hour before I go. Sort of my way to connect with as many of you as possible before I leave town and head west. If I have an email address for you, I'll email you the location. If you'd like to join us--Wicked H, Liz, et al.,--drop me an email and I'll send you the undisclosed location.

Basic details to note...

When: Monday, April 13
Time: 5:30 p.m. - 7:30 p.m.
Who: Friends and fabulous bloggers
Where: Check your email or drop me a line and I'll tell you.
Why: Because I like you! Won't you be, won't you be, won't you be my neighbor? Oh, sorry. Lapsed into Mr. Rogers there...

In Which An Opportunity Presents Itself and I Journey Westward...

2009-04-01T14:00:00.000+02:00

So, I've mentioned here and there in fits and starts that change is afoot in my life. This change involves a whole new geographical location for at least the next 12 months.

Simply put, I'm moving to Langley, Washington.

Langley, for those who aren't familiar with the Other Washington, is not the location of CIA Headquarters. It is a quaint little artists' haven on the southern end of the fifth longest island in the contiguous United States. For any of you with a military background, and especially those of you in the Marines or the Navy, Langley is situated on Whidbey Island, which is home to a naval air station on the northern end.

How did I come to this point where I'm moving away from D.C., you ask?

Seems last year, a friend of mine inherited a house, a cottage, and some property from her late aunt and her partner. Said friend tried to sell the house, the cottage, and the property, but as the market has been less than favorable, she's been unsuccessful. Sure, it's a fixer-upper, but we're talking nearly two acres of real estate with a four bedroom, two bathroom house and an adjacent cottage for less than half a mil.

Anyway--that's not the point. Or, actually it is the point. The house/cottage/acreage wasn't selling, so the friend took it off the market. In November, we were at the Mormon Temple protesting Prop. 8 when she turned to me, told me about the house, and asked, "Do you know anyone who would be interested in living in the house for a year or so for free?"

Um, hello?!?! ME. I would be very interested.

That, in a nutshell, is what I'll be doing for the next 12 months. Living in a cottage on Whidbey Island in the town of Langley for free. Rock on, right?

I'm going to keep this blog going, because moving to the Left Coast does not diminish my interest in things D.C. Plus, I'll be back for family visits and business. I'm keeping my house here and renting it out for now. I will not, however, be starting a new blog.

Well, that's not true. I've set up a blog for my photography, but that's all. I won't be starting a new place to rant and rave or spout forth or whatever. I'll still be here, signing in as Tewkesy and being as snarky as ever. Or maybe not.

Maybe the clean air, the Cascades, island life, and uncongested traffic will give me back my sweet spirit and I'll be pleasant and jovial all the time. Or not.

I'll be back in a day or two with my top five reasons to love and hate Washington, as well as my top five must-sees-in-Dee-Cee.

In the meantime, check out Whidbey Island Confidential if you want to see where I'm living and the things I'm experiencing in photos.

And now the question is, can I squeeze in a final happy hour before I hit the road on April 15?

Someone Needs a Lesson in Headline Composition

2009-03-30T18:11:00.002+02:00

In my spam folder this morning is an email with this as the subject line:

"Tired of Paying Through the Nose for Boner Medicine?"

Lordy, but I love a good mixed metaphor.

Idiots.

Doing Lunch

2009-03-27T20:46:00.002+01:00

Sikh Lunch

Took this photo today while I was downtown and waiting to meet a friend for a bite to eat at The Brown Bag at 14th & K.

Happy (Photo) Friday, everyone!

Photo copyright: D.C. Confidential, 03/09

Why Does This Delight Me So?

2009-03-22T12:46:00.002+01:00

Here's what I'm noodling, as I remove screws from the walls and spackle in preparation for painting.

What I'm trying to figure out is, why does this delight me so?

No doubt, I'll be coming back to this later...

Back in the Saddle

2009-03-21T03:54:00.006+01:00

Good mornnnnnning Washington, D.C.!

Yes, I'm back. Haven't written for ages. Don't know what I'm going to write about, so I'm gonna go with the flow.

I've been on the road and seen some kewl stuff.

The Pro Football Hall of Fame: First Stop on the Road Trip

Like the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio.

Custom chopper a la Lincoln.
Click image to enlarge and check out the details.

Or, Lincoln's Presidential Library and Museum in Springfield, Illinois.

The Nauvoo Temple at dusk.

Or, the Mormon's newly reconstructed temple in Nauvoo, Illinois. (For the record, I behaved myself like the good little Mormon girl I use to be and I did not mock. It was hard.)

A loom in the woolen mill in the Amana Colonies, Iowa.

Or, maybe the Amana Colonies in Amana, Iowa, which we thought were Amish, but in fact were German Pietists. Don't ask me what a Pietists is. I don't know. I do know they aren't called that because they eat pie.

America's Corniest Destination. Seriously.

Or, the Corn Palace Convention Center and Visitors Bureau in Mitchell, South Dakota, where the exterior facade changes each year and is made entirely of corn cobs and husks. True story.

The Badlands are bad, man. Like way cool, dude. Check it out.

Then there's the Badlands outside of Wall, South Dakota. If Disney had a miniature version of the Grand Canyon and you sat in a little car to tour it, that would be the Badlands.

Wall Drug: Featured on the Today Show, GMA,
People magazine, blah, blah, blah...

Speaking of Wall, South Dakota, there's Wall Drug. A veritable emporium of... of... of... schtuff. Lots and lots of schtuff. Good donuts, though.

The Big Boys: Washington, Jefferson, Roosevelt, and Lincoln.

Or, how about Mount Rushmore. Coolest memorial outside of Washington, D.C.

Not so much into road trips?

So, what to write about? What to write about?

I could write about how badly the movers damaged my belongings. Or, the dude on the ferry to Whidbey Island, Washington, who did a weird little jig in an attempt to discreetly(?) readjust his nuts. Maybe I could blather on about the air raid sirens in western Pennsylvania that woke us up at 4:30 in the morning. Or, how about how I left the park ranger at Mount Rushmore speechless when I asked him if he could point out to me "this memorial thingie that's suppose to be here."

Nah? Dullsville? How's about I just shut up and let you look at the pictures from my trip? If you want to see more, visit D.C. Confidential.

Oh, and just in case you missed the memo, I'm moving to Langley, Washington, for a year. Maybe more. We'll see. I'll be leaving town for good around April 12 or so. I have feelings about this, but I'm not sure where to start, so give me a while. I'm sure I'll find a way to articulate them shortly.

Photo copyright: D.C. Confidential/Janet Kincaid

Facebook and Seinfeld. Or, Why I'm Annoyed This Morning

2009-02-27T14:34:00.006+01:00

Someone--an old friend from high school--kicked my ass today on Facebook. Literally. He took my profile photo and added it to some animated something or other where he then kicked my ass and sent me flying many feet through the sky where I finally landed near some pyramids.

WTF?! I mean seriously?

See, this is one of those Facebook things I don't get and that makes me snarky. I mean, what am I suppose to do with that? I haven't talked to him in over 20 years. He friended me on Facebook and I accepted. Then he kicks me in the ass? Really?! Is this suppose to be funny? Am I suppose to laugh? 'Cause I'm not.

*****

Supposedly NBC has signed Jerry Seinfeld* to a new show wherein celebrities give struggling couples marital advice. This from a man who wooed his wife after she'd returned from her honeymoon with her first husband. In other words, he's a home wrecker. But because he's funny and he claims humor is the key to a good marriage, we're suppose to take advice from him?

And people are worried about gay marriage in this country? I just don't get it. Heterosexual America needs to take a long, hard look in the mirror and realize gays and lesbians aren't the threat. Or, put another way, "We have found the enemy, and it is us."

*****

Obviously, I'm feeling snarky today. (No?! Really? Whodathunkit?)

I've made the bright, shining realization that perhaps I don't value people as deeply or as meaningfully as they value me. Apparently, my sentiments don't run as deep as I thought they did where friends and loved ones are concerned.

Or maybe they do. I don't know.

All I know is, I like/love people exactly the way I do. If it seems my like/love isn't deep enough for you, I don't know how to fix that or even if I should. Or could. I don't know.

If I don't, don't take it personally. It obviously isn't you. It's me.

*****

Snark over. Back to packing boxes.**

* Just like I'm proud of the fact that I never went to BYU, I'm equally proud of the fact that I've never watched a single episode of Seinfeld. I know I'm in the minority when I say, he just isn't that funny. The appeal is lost on me. Sorry. Like I said, it isn't him. It's me.

** Newsflash: I'm moving. To Washington State. You know? The other Washington? That one. Details at 11:00. Or whenever I get to it.

Which is the Greater Threat? Gays or White Males?

2009-02-25T03:59:00.005+01:00

Very few of you probably follow politics in Utah, but I do for a few reasons. First, because I grew up in Utah. Second, because I'm a sociologist of religion whose area of specialization is Mormonism and studying how it manifests itself on the social and political landscape. Third, because the Mormon Church is a political powerhouse, as continually evidenced by recent events in California, among other pivotal moments in American history. And fourth, because my fundamental rights as a member of the GLBT community are a constant source of consternation for many Mormons, especially in Utah, where most of their elected officials are Mormon.

In the last year or so, one of the state legislature's more controversial figures has been a state senator from West Jordan, Salt Lake County, Utah named Chris Buttars. If you want to read more about this flaming homophobe, go to the Salt Lake Tribune and search for him. Or Google him. Whatever. While he's the impetus for this post, he isn't what I'm going to write about. Instead, I'm highlighting the Trib's best columnist and voice of reason in Mormondom--a guy named Robert Kirby.

Recently, he wrote about Chris Buttars and the "threat" gays and lesbians pose to America. Pay special attention to his closing sentence. It's priceless. Here is Sen. Buttars, Gay Rights Won't Destroy Us.

Traveling in the States

2009-02-20T18:05:00.002+01:00

Rope on Deck : Aboard the Susan Constant : James River : Jamestown, Virginia

Last week, I took two days and went down to Jamestown and Colonial Williamsburg. I've posted a series of photos about my adventures on my photography blog, D.C. Confidential. These three photos have proven to be the most popular in the group.

Draw the Shutters : George Whyte Plantation : Historic Williamsburg : Virginia

Belfry : Re-creation of Jamestown Fort : Jamestown, Virginia

Happy (Photo) Friday everyone!

Photo copyright: D.C. Confidential

Overdone...

2009-02-09T21:15:00.003+01:00

I like breasts. A lot. They're my favorite bit of anatomy on a woman. But this, this is ridiculous. This is what fellow blogger Lacochran would call "overmammification."

Of what do I speak?

None other than Sheyla Hershey's 38 triple K's. Yes, you read that right. 38KKK.

Check it out and tell me if I'm not right in saying, "Euewwwww."

Asymmetrical

2009-02-06T06:01:00.000+01:00

Fate

Lately, I've been shooting less recognizable elements in places known far and wide. For example, these two photos. The first is the ceiling in the shops at Union Station, while the second is the tunnel leading from the west side of 395 to the Pentagon and the 9/11 Memorial. The one below I originally titled "Fuzzy." Then, based on a comment from a friend, I thought about calling it "Light at End of Tunnel?" but decided that was too long. Now, I think I'm going to call it "Crisis or Hope?"

Crisis or Hope?

Happy Photo Friday, friends!

Photo copyright: D.C. Confidential

ABM: Another Bloody Meme

2009-02-01T12:15:00.003+01:00

So, before I post this meme, which a few of you have already read elsewhere, I have to confess something.

I'm on Facebook.

Yes, it's true. I'm a lemming. A sheep. A slavish follower. I have succumbed to the social trend and joined the hoary masses who participate in the social networking phenomenon. Let me say, for the record, I was drug* kicking and screaming into this affair. Ultimately, though, I can't blame anyone but myself. I drank the Kool-aid. No one forced me.

So far, it's been fun to reconnect with old friends from elementary school, high school, grad school, and my mission.

There are a few things I could live without, though.

First, requests to be friends with people who are only adding me because we have a friend in common. Just because you know my friend Diana (as an example), doesn't mean I'm your friend or want to be. Unless I've met you in person and/or spent any amount of time with you, I'm not friending you. If I'm mistaken and we have met, include a note and remind me where and how we met. Then I might consider it.

Second, requests to be on your "top girls list." I know this is meant to be a collection of your peeps, but when I read that my sexually charged mind thinks, "Yes, I do like to be a top. But I like being a bottom, too. I'm flexible that way." I'm pretty sure, when you asked me to be a part of your "top girls list" that's not what you had in mind. Just sayin'...

Third, I don't want a "funspace", a contest request to see if I'm smart or nice,** and I definitely don't want a garden patch or whatever the hell that is.

All in all, Facebook is proving to be a nice way to reconnect with folks and banter back and forth a bit. It's even generated some new business for me, which is great. But, I'm 40 years old. Not 16. Flair and flowers in my patch are so 1986.***

Now, where were we?

Oh, yes. The meme. Another bloody meme. Well, here it is: 25 Things It's Important You Know About Me. I'm not tagging anyone. If you want to play along, go for it!

Rules:

Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

*****

1. I only hear in one ear. My right ear. As a result, I like to do the driving, otherwise, I can't hear you. One day, I'm going to move to one of those countries where they drive on the left side of the road so I can be the passenger for a change.

2. I was Tinkerbell in my first grade play at Maeser Elementary School. Some of my friends, when they hear that story, inevitably respond by saying, "That explains EVERYTHING."

3. I can tie a tie in a double-Windsor knot and I'm very good at it. I also look good in the same.

4. I only have two regrets in my life: not going to med school and giving up the piano.

5. I'm fascinated by the need religion plays in the life of individuals and how it manifests itself on the social landscape. As a result, I will spend the rest of my life paying off my student loans for a master's degree in Religion and Society.

6. Every time I go to Baskin & Robbins, I swear I'm going to get something other than mint chocolate chip. I never do.

7. I write other people's resumes for a living and really enjoy it. I hate writing my own.

8. My favorite monument in all of Washington, D.C., is the Lincoln Memorial.

9. Last year, I took over 10,000 pictures with my Canon A630. I'm hoping I don't take quite that many this year, but I'd certainly love to sell that many!

10. I believe in equal pay regardless of gender, equal rights regardless of sexual orientation, and the separation of church and state. Note on the latter: marriage in this country is a violation of the separation clause every.single.day. Think about it.

11. I have unwittingly become a fan of Harry Potter. When I grow up, I want to be Hagrid.

12. I love James Bond films. As a feminist, I can't explain it. It just is.

13. I believe Pink Martini will save the world.

14. I know more about pulp and paper than I ever thought I would. And I'm grateful, because it pays the bills. Literally.

15. There are very few people in my life for whom I would throw myself in front of a bus. Two of them are here on Facebook.

16. I want to learn how to dance.

17. I served an LDS Mission to Vienna, Austria, and spent two Christmases there. Everyone should experience Christmas in Europe at least once in their lifetime.

18. I am proud that I did NOT go to BYU. Sometimes I can be really smug and snotty about it, too. I like to think I was original that way. (See what I mean? Snotty.) Go Patriots!

19. My favorite restaurant in the whole wide universe is Ti Couz in San Francisco at 16th and Valencia.

20. My reading pile currently includes the following books: Intersex (For Lack of a Better Word) by Thea Hillman, No Graves As Yet by Anne Perry, Written on the Body by Jeanette Winterson, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Pie Society by Mary Ann Schaffer and Annie Barrows, Catch-22 by Joseph Heller, A Separate Peace by John Knowles, and The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama. Bottom line: I like to read. A lot.

21. The only show I watch on TV with any regularity is NBC's The Biggest Loser. Otherwise, meh. TV. Overrated.

22. I love going to the symphony and the ballet. I also love Shakespeare.

23. I enjoy cooking and baking, and especially enjoy cooking for friends. I don't need a reason for a dinner party, so come on over!

24. Speaking of cooking, I make the world's best oatmeal. Seriously.

25. I believe in writing and sending thank-you notes.

******

* Or is it dragged? Where's my New Yorker, the bastion of proper and current grammar?
** The answer on those two is "yes" and "yes".
*** Why does that sound suggestive, too? Hm. Obviously I have sex on the mind today.

Birdie! Birdie!

2009-01-30T12:15:00.000+01:00

Fly! Be Free! : Corner of L and 19th Streets NW
(Click on image to enlarge.)

Flying Footballs. Sidewalk Scroungers. Rats with Wings. Flying Rats. Whatever you call them, pigeons are ubiquitous. I will say this for D.C.'s pigeons, though: they're generally a pretty pristine looking group. Worst looking pigeons in the country? San Francisco pigeons. Those poor buggers look like they've been drug around the block a few times and then some out there.

My Pancake! : Corner of L and 19th Streets NW
(Click on image to enlarge.)

Want to see more photos? Visit D.C. Confidential. Open 24/7/365!

Happy (Photo) Friday!

Photo copyright: D.C. Confidential, 01/09

Conundra

2009-01-28T18:42:00.005+01:00

I like photography.* I like looking at other people's photography. I especially like looking at the Day in Pictures on the Washington Post for a glimpse of what's happening around the world and how it's been captured in pixels and color.

So, this morning, I'm flipping through the Day in Pictures for January 27, 2009. It starts off pretty fabulously with this picture of the Lunar New Year celebrations in Hong Kong. The series moves around the globe and then this picture pops up: former Presidents George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton speaking at the National Automobile Dealers Association. And I stop and pause and say, "Huh."

Having worked at a trade association, I know a bit about where they get their money to operate. Companies pay millions and millions of dollars to their respective organizations for a variety of goods and services in Washington, D.C. Here's what makes me say, "Huh." The auto industry is on the verge of collapse in this country. The CEOs of the Big Three didn't get it when they flew into Washington in private jets to testify before Congress back in December. Now, apparently, the dealers don't get it either. While Americans are tightening their belts, the NADA is keynoting with George and Bill. That can't have been cheap. Their speaking fees are in the hundreds of thousands of dollars each. As part of a struggling industry, surely the NADA could have shown a little fiscal responsibility and spent their members' money a little more wisely?

Moving along, I get toward the end of the collection of photos which includes pictures of women in mourning in Gaza and the foreign minister of Isreal--a woman--speaking at a conference for women justifying Israel's actions in Gaza. (I always find it interesting when women advocate for and justify war. It's so ironic.) Anyway--that picture was merely annoying, but it was this picture that was disturbing: a soldier-mother in Rwanda with her baby strapped on her back and an automatic weapon slung around her front. How are we ever to acheive world peace if this is the image and the action?

Of course, being a brainless American, I like all of my stories to end happily-ever-after, so this photo of Seattle's Space Needle delighted me. Thank God.

As my friend Alice says, if you want to see the details in each picture, "click on the image to embiggen."

* I know! Shocking, right?

Appreciative Popping

2009-01-26T23:04:00.006+01:00

Today is Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day.

Does Hallmark make a card for that?

Here's some virtual bubble wrap, if you feel the need to pop.

Photo copyright: Tang Teaching Museum at Skidmore College.

And Thus, It Begins...

2009-01-25T12:15:00.003+01:00

Today's Washington Post reports that President Obama's executive order to close down Guantanamo Bay within a year may be hampered by "files in disarray" and "scattered throughout the executive branch." Reading this article set my teeth on edge and is, I believe, only the beginning of what will be revealed about the Bush War on Terrorism.

Here is Guantanamo Case Files in Disarray.

But wait, there's more! Karen J. Greenberg reports that there was a time in the history of Gitmo, when the military tried to do the right thing by detainees despite objections from the civilian side--i.e. Donald Rumsfeld and cohorts--of the equation. Have a look at When Gitmo Was (Relatively) Good. I wonder how former administration officials will respond to this?

Return of Photo Friday

2009-01-23T12:15:00.000+01:00

Walk Away

I've been remiss the last few months, so in celebration of the last day of the work week, I give you the return of Photo Friday. This year, I'm participating in a project with six other people where we dream big. We're artists, writers, photographers, mixed media folk. I'm representin' for the East Coast. In fact, now that I think of it, I'm the only participant who lives east of the Mississippi. Hm. My point is, I'm working to improve my photos and start selling my work. That's my big dream this year.

So, here is this week's photo. And if you haven't gotten your Obamicon, you can get yours here.

Happy (Photo) Friday, friends!

Photo copyright: D.C. Confidential, 01/09

Yeah, Baby!

2009-01-20T15:00:00.002+01:00

Granted, this editorial animated cartoon is from Nov. 5, 2008, but I think today it's equally as apropos!

And if you want some good reading, go here and read what my buddy, Gunfighter, has to say to those in his past and any in the future who tell him he's a sell out to his people because he chose to use good grammar and standard English.

Yesterday, Mr. Obama was at Walter Reed Army Medical Center and then at Calvin Coolidge H.S. as part of his day of service. Both of these are mere blocks from my home. We went out to see the president's (how cool is it that we can say that now?!) motorcade and the atmosphere was electric! For the first time in a long time, this city is pumped!

Finally, if you want to see some nice photos of events going on over the last few days and today, visit fellow photoblogger Juxtaexposed. And, in a bit of shameless self-promotion, check out my blog, too. (Although, I haven't posted nearly as many pictures as Juxta. As prolific as I can be with my camera, I've been overwhelmed by the emotion and excitement of the last few days and can't adequately capture the feeling. This is one of those moments in history where you have to see it and feel it to believe it.)

Editorial copyright: Ann Telnaes and the Washington Post Co.

Coolest Thing I've Seen Since the Hug Guy

2009-01-12T18:18:00.005+01:00

I found this today via my friends, The Professor and Mary Ann. It put a smile on my face. I hope it does yours, too. Here is Happy Dance.

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.

The most striking image in this video? Matt Harding dancing in the Demilitarized Zone in Korea.

Simply breathtaking.

D'Ya Think?!

2009-01-05T21:37:00.004+01:00

Compared to his son, George H.W. Bush was a decent enough fellow. Disturbingly, however, now he'd like to see his son, Jeb, be the president one day.

Or does he?

What I love is the last line he speaks, which I think says more about what he thinks of his son's handling of the presidency than anything else he could possibly say.

I mean right now is probably a bad time... We've had enough Bushes in there.

Can we say, "ZINGER!"

And while I have your attention, last night a friend sent me this quote from George Orwell. Obviously I need to add "Notes on Nationalism" to my reading pile.

All nationalists have the power of not seeing resemblances between similar sets of facts. A British Tory will defend self-determination in Europe and oppose it in India with no feeling of inconsistency. Actions are held to be good or bad, not on their own merits, but according to who does them, and there is almost no kind of outrage — torture, the use of hostages, forced labour, mass deportations, imprisonment without trial, forgery, assassination, the bombing of civilians — which does not change its moral colour when it is committed by ‘our’ side ... The nationalist not only does not disapprove of atrocities committed by his own side, but he has a remarkable capacity for not even hearing about them.

Is that not just a little frightening or what?

Reading

2008-12-30T13:50:00.003+01:00

Most of you know that I'm avid reader and a huge advocate of reading, especially for children and young adults. In the Wall Street Journal the other day, Karl "Goebbels" Rove, makes the case that George "The Decider" Bush should be well-regarded because he reads. Seems the good ol' boy from Tex-ass (which reminds me of a joke. I'll tell it here*) is just being all "aw shucks" as a ploy. According to Rove, Bush is actually an intellectual.

Pardon me while I walk into the other room and die of unabashed laughter...

*Que Jeopardy Music*

Okay, I'm back. Fortunately, we have Richard Cohen of the Washington Post to balance out Rove's last ditch effort to paint his former boss and friend, "The Leader of the Free World", as a smart guy. Cohen, to put it mildly, isn't impressed with Bush's choice of reading material over the last three years. In fact, he sums it up like this:

[T]he books themselves reveal -- actually, confirm -- something about Bush that maybe Rove did not intend. They are not the reading of a widely read man, but instead the books of a man who seeks -- and sees -- vindication in every page. Bush has always been the captive of fixed ideas. His books just support that.

Hm. Seems to be little surprise in that. Not exactly what I would consider the hallmark of an intellectual. Then again, we're talking about Republicans here who view the word intellectual with as much disdain as the rest of us view doggie doo-doo on the bottom of our shoe: unpleasant, messy, and stinky. Ergo, is Rove's Bush really an intellectual or is he merely a guy who reads? Call me a cynic, but I think he's just a guy who reads. And only that which, as Cohen more adroitly points out than I can, underscores his sense of divine mandate and democratized self-righteousness.

*****

In other snort-worthy news, Bristol Palin had her baby. Congratulations. And named it Tripp. Poor baby. What is wrong with those people?! And, as the daughter of the supposed "Savior of the GOP"--that bastion of morality and family values--why hasn't this girl married her baby-daddy yet? Oh never mind. Who are we kidding?

*****

On a brighter note, here's a tribute to a resident of Bethesda, Maryland, who passed away this week. I don't know why this struck me especially. Maybe because Mr. Aanenson's sense of morality is in stark contrast to Bush & Co.'s appalling lack of the same. Here is WWII Fighter Pilot Shared Haunting Story with the World.

* Okay, so the joke I alluded to earlier... First, some background. My mother married a man whose parents migrated from Texas to California during the Depression in search of jobs. Despite living in California three times longer than they ever lived in Texas, my grandparents still strongly identify as Texans.

Not long after they were married, my parents were having dinner with my dad's mom and dad. A discussion arose about Lyndon Baines Johnson and my mother, in all of her 18 years of youth and naivete, told this joke:

"Did you know they've shortened the name of Texas to Tex?"

Incredulous looks ensued, but Mom plugged right along. "Yep," she said, "Seems they dropped the ass off the end and sent him to the White House."

My grandfather's reply, directed to my father, "She's not one of us."

True story. In hindsight, Mom says she probably should have sought an annulment then and there. Forty years later, we sometimes wish she had, too.

Signs of Aging, Redux

2008-12-28T03:00:00.006+01:00

For Christmas this year, I received this. This gift is the adult equivalent of Legos for kids. Yes, some assembly and setup is required, but as long as all of the pieces are in place, no sweat. In the case of my grown-up gift, on the outside of the box is a graphic that shows me everything included inside the box.

No question about the content of the box.

As you can see from the picture above, it lists the following:

Pixma MP610
5 Canon genuine ink tanks
Print head
Setup CD-rom and printed documents
Power cord
Sample photo paper
Paper for print head alignment

Now, when it comes to Legos, I'm very methodical. All the blocks get separated into piles by color and size. Setting up a new printer is no different. I open the box, remove all the parts and pieces, inventory everything, open up the tabloid-spread setup document and get to work. Note the setup document is quite thorough. No Ikea-like hieroglyphics here, boys and girls. Not only are there pictures, but there are words, too. So far, so good.

No Ikea-like hieroglyphics. This is a major plus!

Then I flip the page to the other side, where I must choose between instructions for PC setup or Mac setup.

Mac, please. Thankyouverymuch.

I begin to read the instructions, which begin with these words and include a set of graphics: "Connect one end of the USB cable to the computer, the other to the machine."

Where is the friggin' USB cable?!

USB cable. USB cable. I know I saw that here.

Where did I put that?

I look all over my desk, on my book shelves, behind my laptop. I even go through the box again. I know I've seen that damn thing. Where is it?!

I look at the little legend on the box that shows me everything Canon has included with my all-in-one printer.

There is no little graphic of a USB cable. WTF?!

No USB cable? How can this be?! I mean, that's like a manufacturer not including batteries in the package for a toy. Sure, there was a time when the package warned parents that "Batteries are not included" and they had to make sure to buy batteries, otherwise Christmas would be ruined. Now toy makers are smart and include the batteries so they don't get the pants sued off of them when Johnny can't run his animatronic Transformer or Suzy can't make her Betsy Wetsy wet. And all for want of batteries.

My point is, if you're gonna tell people to connect one end of a USB cable into their new printer and the other end into their computer so they can use their new toy that they're all excited about, then inlcude the friggin' cable with the printer! How hard can it be? I think I'd be happy to pay an extra $30 for that cable and the ability to try out my new toy immediately and avoid a trip to my local-but-not-easily-accessible purveyor of office supplies.

But noooooooooooo. No, no, no.

I had to wait until December 26th. I then had to schlep myself to Staples and get an A-to-B USB cable. Needless to say, the folks at Staples lived up to their reputation of making things easy, but Canon? Canon did not.

I wrote them a letter. This is what it said:

Dear Canon:

You suck!

Sincerely,

J.M. Tewkesbury

Crap like this is what makes me cranky and is further evidence that I'm getting old.

Signs of Aging?

2008-12-22T13:48:00.003+01:00

I know I'm not that old, but there are some definite signs I'm getting older. And by getting older, I mean, becoming slightly cantankerous.

For example, what's up with this?

Old interface...

New interface...

Or is it?

Yahoo keeps going back and forth. I never know what I'm going to get when I launch their site to check my email. It's really kind of annoying. I know I'm getting old, because it annoys me. This wouldn't have annoyed me a few years ago. Now it annoys me. Ergo, I'm getting old.

Yo, Yahoo! Make up your friggin' minds already. Sheesh.

Another sign I'm getting older? People wear me out. I get peopled out a lot faster than I use to.

When I was younger, I was more extroverted. I drew my energy from being around, in the midst of, and engaged with people. Lots and lots and lots of people. People, people, people. Everywhere. All the time. PEOPLE!

Now? Now I have to choose my people participating moments carefully, because people tucker me out. I still enjoy socializing and I have a great time when I get together with people--especially people I know and love--but by the end of the evening or whatever, I'm done.* I want my quiet corner, my down comforter, and a good book or crossword puzzle. Maybe some quiet music in the background.

The holidays--between Thanksgiving and New Years--leave me especially peopled out. Between the shopping and the parties and the family gatherings and the festivizing, I find myself getting to New Years and not wanting to see or interact with anyone. I want everyone to please.go.away.now.

Yep, I'm a crank.

Those four paragraphs to say that on the Meyers-Briggs, I've become an I. For introvert.

Go figure.

*****

* Please note, it isn't the people themselves who people me out as much as it's just the interaction and having to "be on" for extend lengths of time. Most of the people I socialize with are delightful, lovely folk who I love seeing and being with. There are a few exceptions, of course. In the case of the not so delightful and lovely among us, I walk away. Again, that makes me a crank.

Score!

2008-12-19T12:15:00.002+01:00

My favorite photo from the entire trip--a bald eagle perched on driftwood,
Fort Casey State Park, Whidbey Island, Washington (Click on image to enlarge.)

While I was in Washington State a week or so ago (was it only a week ago?! Seems like ages. I digress), I managed to take nearly 500 pictures. Thank goodness for digital technology or I'd really be broke. Here are just a few of my favorites.

L: Illegally parked seagull in Mukilteo
R: Ginormous driftwood (aka: A friggin' TREE) in Ocean Shores
(Click images to enlarge)

L: Space Needle from Queen Anne Hill
R: Pike Place Market
(Click images to enlarge)

Happy (Photo) Friday, friends!

Photo copyright: D.C. Confidential

Anchors Aweigh, My Boy!

2008-12-19T04:00:00.001+01:00

So, remember a few months ago when I said Sarah Palin actually makes George W. Bush look smart? Yeah. Well, I take that back. Bush is officially back in the "Stupidest Human Alive" category. And why, you ask? Because of this:

President George W. Bush, asked earlier about an auto bailout, said he hadn't decided what he would do but didn't want to leave a mess for Barack Obama who takes office a month from Saturday. A White House decision on helping the troubled automakers could come as early as Friday.

Um, sir? Mr. President? Sir, that ship has sailed looooooooooooong, long, long, long, long, looooooooooong, long, long ago.

Asshat. Read the entire story here, if you want.

January 20 won't be here soon enough.

Who the Hell Names Their Kid Adolf Hitler?!

2008-12-18T11:15:00.000+01:00

Seems a couple in New Jersey named their kid Adolf Hitler. (And is upset that their local grocery store refused to put the little tyke's name on a birthday cake.)

Like, seriously?!

I mean, really?

Okay, I believe in free speech and all, but that's just way over the line.

Naming your child after one of the most heinous dictators of the 20th century is INSANE!

I mean, we're talking about a guy who waged warfare across Europe and Russia and killed six million Jews and countless other minorities, and this is the person after whom you name your child?!

Is this really the person you want your child to admire?* An impotent, failed artist from Austria** who somehow managed to rise to power in Germany and nearly devastate the world with his megalomaniac views and policies?

Frankly, I'd rather name a child Dick Cheney.

* Call me crazy, but normally when you name a child after someone, it's because you admire something about that person. What is there to admire about Hitler?!
** It pains me to point out he's from Austria, because I lived there and loved it. It's a beautiful country. Of course, I also met Austrians, while I lived there, who couldn't understand "all the fuss [we] Americans make about Hitler. He wasn't so bad. He gave us back our dignity and created jobs." (That's a direct quote from a Viennese frau I had lunch with one day.)

Bearable

2008-12-15T17:27:00.004+01:00

Anyone who has been reading my blog for any length of time knows my least favorite Christmas song is The 12 Days of Christmas. Most odious, pedantic, dull song out there. Repetition takes a beating on the head with this song. I'd almost rather have fingers down a chalkboard than listen to this song.

That said, while uploading my vast collection of holiday music to iTunes a year or so ago, I stumbled across a rendition by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir that is truly fabulous! It's the only version of The 12 Days of Christmas I'll listen to.

And why, you ask?

Because they sing each verse in a different classical music style and that makes it fun and less tedious than butternut squash.

Here, for your holiday enjoyment, is The 12 Days of Christmas by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Please note, it's 12 minutes long, but worth every minute!

Questionably Lacking

2008-12-12T23:01:00.005+01:00

Honestly?! Who writes these questions? You know the ones I'm talking about? The ones on the Profile page of your Blogger account.

For example: What was the stage name of your favorite actress before she was born?

How the hell should I know?! She hasn't been born yet and doesn't even know she's going to be a stage actress, so how can she have a stage name?

Now this is a reasonable question: You've just inherited a manufacturing plant that specializes in plastics. What are you going to make?

Duh! Big Wheels for grown-ups, of course!

Then there are ones that are just downright corny: When your science teacher smashed a frozen rose with a hammer, did you warm the petals to bring them back to life?

Yes. Yes, I did. And then I gave them to my love... Bleh. Seriously?! Sounds like the beginning of a really schmoopy, schmarmy Hallmark card.

And then they're stupid again (unless you like Dr. Seuss, which I do, so this one isn't that implausible): Well, maybe they don't need them, but don't you think that some fish might like a bicycle?

If they're in an aforementioned Seuss book or a Star Wars movie, perhaps. Otherwise, no. What do fish know from bicycles?!

This question baffles me. It assumes I think my toes are gone, but it also seems to involve someone taking my shoes off of me, which would only happen in the most amorous of circumstances or in an emergency room situation. So where does a question like this originate: The first time you had your shoes taken off--how surprised were you to see that you still had toes?

I'm not even answering that one, it's that stupid.

This is the kind of stuff that keeps me up at night, people! And why? Why can't I land a job at a place like Google/Blogger where all I have to do is make up stupid shit like this and get paid for it?

My question: If there's an elephant at your holiday party, do you offer it a bran muffin?

My answer: Who the hell serves bran muffins at a holiday party?!

See? I'd never be successful at this job.

Holly in my Heart

2008-12-11T16:20:00.009+01:00

It's that time of year when everyone is all charitable and cheery and packin' on the pounds at parties and parceling out packages of home-baked goodness.

Meanwhile, over in Minnesota, some dude named Pierre just received the gift of a lifetime: a fruitcake that is nearly 100 years old. Yes, you read that correctly. Fruitcake. 100 years old. I don't know about you, but after the odious holiday "carol" 12 Days of Christmas, fruitcake is the second most vile thing imposed upon the season of tidings of great joy. The only thing that nasty concoction is good for is as a door stop. Pierre's would certainly qualify as that, and more. Read Hear the One About the Fruitcake Made in 1911?

And, I'm sure many of you have already festivized your house with a tree and garlands and all the finery of the season. Hopefully yours doesn't look like this. (Be sure to click through the photos. Some are more hideous than others and a few make Charlie Brown's Christmas tree look positively divine.)

I Have Arrived!

2008-12-09T18:55:00.005+01:00

I've been out of town for the last week. To see where, go here every day for the next few days. Having just returned home on Tuesday morning, I'm catching up on blogs. Imagine my surprise to learn that if Katherine of Who Invented Roses? is ever on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?, I'll be her phone-a-friend option.

And all because I knew Hitler's dog was named Blondie. Read Never Name Your Kid Katherine and don't skip the comments!

Thanks, Kate!

Wanda Sykes for Congress!

2008-12-09T18:41:00.002+01:00

This is priceless! And, as I say, "Spot on!"

Lame. Again.

2008-12-01T22:34:00.006+01:00

As my blog has become rather lame again, I'm just gonna throw a picture up and call it good for now. I'm still socked in with this writing project.* And now I'm reading annual reports translated from Spanish to English. I thought German was the winner of run-on construction from Deutsch to Englisch, but Spanish beats the Teutonic hoard by a mile.

For example: In order to respond to all these challenges, and in particular the latter, the paper industry, together with all interested parties (particularly the state authorities) must bring about the infrastructures and conditions to improve and increase the physical availability of wood, specifically through the implementation of forestry policies that manage to be simultaneously more creative in environmental terms, fairer, and economically consistent.

Phew! Did you get all of that? Yeah. Well, in case you didn't, welcome to my world!

Here's a picture. It's the Lee Building on the corner of Colesville Road and Georgia Avenue in Silver Spring, Maryland.

And to get us in a holiday mood after my little rant about Christmas here, here is a classic.

* For the record, I love this writing project. It's allowing me to work with my favorite former boss of all time, a guy who should win the award and be held up as an example of what constitutes good leadership. If more bosses were like him, productivity would shoot through the roof and people would want to get up in the morning and go to work. Working for him again is bliss. (And contrary to my mumblings, I'm actually enjoying this project. I just thought I'd be done with it a lot sooner is all.)

Photo copyright: D.C. Confidential

Praise the Beatles and Other Thoughts at 4:35 In the Morning

2008-11-25T20:29:00.007+01:00

Did you see yesterday that the Vatican says music by the Beatles is far better than today's music? I'm so glad they clarified that, because I was staying awake nights worrying about that and what role listening to Beatles music would play in my overall salvation and such. (I'm happy to report that I'm okay. Thanks, Pope B!)

Seems the late John Lennon once made a comment comparing his boy band to the big J.C. and the papal throne didn't like that too well. Interestingly, as I read Lennon's past observations, I have to say, I think the guy was sort of prophetic and accurate about the thickness and lack of extraordinary quality possessed by many supposed Jesus groupies. You decide.

In 1966 the Church was incensed when John Lennon called his band "more popular than Jesus". "Christianity will go," Lennon told London's Evening Standard. "It will vanish and shrink ... Jesus was all right but his disciples were thick and ordinary. It's them twisting it that ruins it for me."

What I wonder is, does this mean that in another 20 years, the Vatican will say Madonna's music is better than whatever it is we'll be aurally assaulted by in 2030? Hm. Probably not, huh?

*****

Yesterday, I spent part of the evening cleaning up my playlists in iTunes. Seems I have enough Christmas music--in English and German--to listen to holiday comfort and joy for three days straight. I don't know if that's a good thing. I suppose it just is what it is. This year's newest album acquisitions: Mary Chapin Carpenter's Come Darkness, Come Light and Sheryl Crow's Home for Christmas from Hallmark. Of the two, MCC's is the better album.

Haul out the holly, folks!

*****

My list of want-to-see movies is quite long. But it doesn't include the long-anticipated Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Damn Warner Brothers! Seems they made too much on Batman: Dark Knight (a horrible movie, by the way, and only a blockbuster because poor Heath Ledger [God rest his soul] died right before its release) and decided they didn't need to make any more money this year.

Who the hell ever heard of that? I mean, maybe I'm a little loopy here, but this is America, for Pete's sake! The country where the express purpose for the existence of corporations and their products is to bleed us of every penny of disposable income we attempt to save. Not releasing Harry Potter is just un-American, I tell you!

I suppose I should be comforted by the fact that there's Bolt, Star Trek, Revolutionary Road, Quantum of Solace, The World Unseen, The Reader, Milk, and Transporter 3 to fill the void. Hey, wait a minute! That's... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8... EIGHT! Eight movies I want/have to see to assuage my dissatification at not being able to see Harry Potter. That's eighty smackers! Geez, that's a lot of dough compared to ten bucks for a dose of the wizard from Little Whinging. It's a conspiracy.

Damn Warner Brothers.

*****

Please note that Twilight is not on my must-see list. That's $10 staying in my pocket, thank you very much!

'Nuff said.

*****

Speaking of movies, why can I never keep Kate Winslet and Cate Blanchett straight in my head. I'm continually getting the two of them mixed up. What's up with that?!

See what I mean?! They're practically twins, damn it!
The one on the left is Cate and on the right, Kate.
Or is it the other way around? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Photo courtesy of Just Jared.com.

Ralph Fiennes, on the other hand, is now permanently embedded in my head as that evilest of evil evilness, He Who Shall Not Be Named, Voldemort. I watched him in In Bruges--an excellent, excellent film, by the way--the other night and all I kept seeing was Voldemort. And yet, in truth, Voldemort is small beans compared to the incomparably cold and evil Nazi he played so well year's ago in Schindler's List. But, it's Voldemort I see, not Amon Goeth.

*****

What else? What else?

Oh, yeah. Thursday is that most American of American holidays--Dallas Cowboys football. Oh sorry. I meant Thanksgiving. (And isn't it frightening that I even know the Cowboys are the perennial players every year on Thanksgiving?!)

I'm headed to the sibs for the event. Thank goodness they only live out in the Commonwealth. By the end of the evening, we're all stuffed, but we still like each other because we can all excuse ourselves from the table and go back to our respective homes without the need of a long over-the-river-and-through-the-woods or transcontinental flight kind of travel. Just rip, zip out I-66, then up Rock Creek Parkway, and I'm home.

And all of that is significant, why? I don't know. I'm just lookin' for stuff to write here, boys and girls.

*****

Here's some food for thought, so to speak.

Thursday also commences that great American pasttime: festive weight gain.

In truth, it started back at Halloween with all the snack-sized candies and confections. Basically, as a country, we're constantly stuffing our faces with food. It sort of starts in October and escalates through November with Thanksgiving, December with Christmas, and January with New Years. Then it sort of starts to taper off with Valentines and St. Patrick's, but ticks up again with Easter in April. There's a little upswing in May with Memorial Day, but nothing in June unless you're invited to a wedding or you celebrate Flag Day. July is a take or leave it possibility for continued consumption, while August is nil and September's Labor Day is a last hoorah to summer.

Good Lord, but we're a food obsessed country. I'm going on a diet. Right after... Hm. Well, I don't know. Any suggestions on which month would be a good one to exercise culinary willpower?

*****

Perhaps that's the sign I need to just go back to bed. That, and the fact that I'm freezing!

Okay.

Bye.

The Savior of the GOP. Really?!

2008-11-21T17:41:00.006+01:00

Remember, this is the person the Republican Party is saying will be their savior in 2012. Lord help 'em.

If you want to see the uncensored version, there's a link in this article: Sarah Palin in the Silence of the Turkeys.

Ya know, nothing against spokespersons and PR wonks, but where were her people during this little bit?!?!

And I thought we'd seen the last of her on the evening of Nov. 4. But, no...

When Bloggers Meet...

2008-11-16T18:48:00.004+01:00

I love when bloggers meet. Some of the coolest, smartest, funnest people I've met in the last 10 years or so have been a result of some kind of interweb interaction. Back when I was in grad school, it was an email list that eventually resulted in the creation of the Scary Feminists from Hell--the finest group of women and friends a girl could ever ask for.

Since diving into the world of blogging, I've gone to a few blogger meet-ups, but none as superior as the one I attended on Friday evening. Some of the folks I met, I've been reading for a while. Others are new to me, but we were all brought together by the fabulous Lacochran. She assembled a fine group of D.C.-area bloggers and a grand time was had by all. If you're looking for new, excellent reading material, please read these blogs (I promise, you won't be disappointed.)

A Daily Dose of Zen Sarcasm!*
Charlotte Harris
Culinary Couture
The Gilahi Blog
"It's Toasted"
Live It, Love It
The Restaurant Refugee**
Sean's Ramblings
Urban Bohemian
(That's Why) The Lady Is a Tramp
Who Invented Roses

Nice meeting everyone! Let's get together again soon.

* Whom I've met previously at another blogger meet-up. (And this time we found out we have a mutual connection: Madame Meow's mother and I went to the same graduate school!) Great seeing you again, Madame!

** Turns out RR lives in my neighborhood! Or rather, I live in his.

Sarah Palin and Other Redundancies

2008-11-14T12:30:00.000+01:00

This woman just will not go away. And if she's the hope the of the Republican Party, they're doomed. From yesterday's Sketch Book by Dana Milbank in the Washington Post, here is Palin: 'Just Getting Started'.

Continuing on a Rhapsody on a Theme of Palin in G-minor (as in "Go away already"), Jonathan Capeheart in the Post's PostPartisan round-up also mentions Sarah Palin's Next Act and, in a follow-up, begs someone, anyone, Beuller, to please Make Her Stop.

Moving away from that now, as if there isn't enough divisiveness in the world, a Catholic priest in South Carolina has told his parishioners, if you voted for Obama, forget taking communion. Hm. I don't seem to remember Jesus saying political choice was a prerequisite for partaking of the Last Supper or any subsequent iterations of his final act before his crucifixion. For your amusement (or head shaking. Whichever) here is SC Priest: No Communion for Obama Supporters.

Finally, I'm hesitant to highlight this one, but as I find this kind of sentiment has no place in our great country, I'm going to include this piece. It's a collection of recent news stories about racists who are gunning for our new president-elect. The most disturbing stories are the ones involving kids. A note to those who would espouse these kinds of sentiments: you're fomenting treason and terrorism, which makes you no different than bin Laden and his band of criminals. Think about it. Here is Racists React to Obama Victory.

Not wanting to end on that sour, sad note, today is also Friday, which means a photo is in order. How about this one?

Happy Friday, everyone.

Photo copyright: D.C. Confidential

Let Love Grow

2008-11-13T16:04:00.002+01:00

In case you missed his special comment the other night, Olbermann says it best.

A Note to Members of My Tribe

2008-11-11T17:07:00.010+01:00

Tuesday's presidential election was momentous and cause for celebration, but some ballot initiatives on the state level were not as momentous and brought with them cause for sadness and concern.

In particular, California's Proposition 8--a proposition that "eliminates right of same-sex couples to marry"--passed 52/48 in the Golden State on Tuesday. For those who haven't been paying attention, this means California voters have outlawed the right of gays and lesbians to marry. It is a revision (note: not an amendment) to the state's constitution that, for the first time in American history, reverses the rights of a subset of the population.

The passage of Prop 8 was heavily, loudly, and visibly supported by the Utah-based Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Other evangelical, Catholic, and right-oriented family groups participated and supported this proposition as well with dollars and canvassing, but none were as heavily engaged and invested as the Mormons who supplied more than 40% of the $75 million that was spent on this campaign.

The result has been divisive within and without the Church. Families with gay sons and lesbian daughters feel betrayed by their church and its leaders. Members who support marriage for Mormons regardless of orientation have been disparaged by members who support marriage as between one man and one woman only. (And I'm sure some of the same has gone on in the other direction, but for the purposes of this entry, I don't care.) Some members who support(ed) Prop 8 have been strident and adamant that those who support gay marriage or who are gay and want to marry are going straight to hell.

Now, the Church and many of its Prop 8 supporting members are decrying the media backlash and civil protests taking place in Los Angeles, Oakland, and Salt Lake City against their involvement in and bankrolling of this initiative. The Church goes out of its way to state it is neutral when it comes to politics, but then involves itself in politics only to then cry foul when others call them out for engaging in politics. Which is it, brothers and sisters? 'Cause you can't have it both ways.

My point in this is, if you're a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and you support Prop 8 and you feel it's necessary to cry on my shoulder about how unfair the media is being to the Church, don't. I don't want your emails sent in utter disbelief. I don't want your phone calls expressing indignation. I don't want your newspaper clippings or your YouTube videos. I don't want any of it because it all boils down to three things for me: fear, inequality, and unchristlike behavior have no place in my life.

Jesus said, "Come unto me, all ye who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest." Jesus said, "As I have loved you, love one another." Jesus said, "Render unto Ceasar, that which is Ceasar's and unto God, that which is God's." You have rendered unto Ceasar. You have made your bed and now you must lie in it. If the consequence is a lack of appreciation and understanding from your brothers and sisters who love, just as you love, then so be it.

I'm done with compassion and forgiveness when it comes to building bridges of understanding between gay and lesbian Mormons and their straight families. I'm done with graciously accomodating your lives and your opinions in my home in an effort to make a place at the table. I'm done with living in silence in an effort not to upset your world. I've accepted your ways and your opinions and your feelings and now, I'm done.

Just wanted to put you on notice, you will find no sympathy here.

Awesome

2008-11-09T15:30:00.001+01:00

My friend, Phoebe, out in blue-state-Colorado, sent me this cartoon. I think that pretty much sums it up! The illustration below comes to me from my friend, Sylvia.* (Click on the images to enlarge.)

The Washington Post is running a three op-ed series called The Man of Tomorrow about the election of Barack Obama from the perspective of three individuals: a local writer and political analyst, a contributing editor for Atlantic magazine, and a Nobel Peace Prize winner. Here is The Man of Tomorrow: He Leapt the Tallest Barrier. What Does it Mean for America?, King Trusted White to Stand Up. Obama Showed Me He Was Right, and His Election Has Turned America's Global Image on its Head.

* Hm. Why does this look vaguely familiar? The only difference, I doubt a certain religious tribe will ever have a black leader. That would require a miracle from the Almighty Herself.

Impact, Part 2

2008-11-07T11:23:00.008+01:00

Another story about the impact of this election in the lives of ordinary public servants. Here is A Butler Well Served by This Election.

And in the lives of ordinary black Americans, the election of Barack Obama opens the door to a new feeling of belonging. Here is Obama Victory Opens Door to a New Black Identity.

A brief comment on this article: It bothers me when I walk down the street, pass a black person and, rather than meeting my gaze and saying hello, they look down and only respond with a greeting if I greet them first. It bothers me not because I feel I need to be acknowledged. It bothers me because I sense an underlying feeling of inequality and that bugs me, because for me everyone is equal and I try to treat them thusly.

Since Tuesday, I've noticed a difference in the demeanor of many of my black neighbors. I'm noticing more of them are actually locking eyes with me and others and looking up. No longer are so many of them casting their eyes downward when they pass a white person. It is as if they are saying, "I can no longer be ignored and I will no longer be invisible." And to that I say, "Hoorah!"

The Boston Globe runs a beautiful series of 35 photos of our new president-elect. Here is the Big Picture.

And, this morning, my friend Alice over at Alice's Adventure's Underground sent me this article from Salon. The basic premise: Gen X'ers finally understand the passion of Baby Boomers. Here is A Gen X Response to Barack Obama: An Open Apology to Boomers Everywhere.

Finally, my friend Adriana, writer of What I Made for Dinner, writes about the effect of this election in her life. Here is The Audacity of Hope.

For someone who was going to stop doing round-ups once the election was over, I'm sure falling down on that, aren't I? Oh well.

She's Baaaaaaaaaaack!

2008-11-07T07:40:00.004+01:00

1:38 a.m. EST

Where should I be? Where would any sane person be at this hour?

If you answered, "In bed, asleep" you win the door prize. (Not sure what that might be at the moment. I'll get back to you on that.)

Yep. I'm awake. Went to bed at 10:30 p.m. Woke at 1:30 a.m.

Now that the election is over, it would appear that my prescient prognostications regarding my pending return to business-as-usual on this blog have indeed panned out. I'm rarely right these days, but every once in a while I have a flash of brilliance.

And by flash, I mean grease fire in a pan that you extinguish by throwing a lid on it. As for brilliance, that's another matter altogether.

*****

I stayed up so late Tuesday night. You know Tuesday night? The night we elected Barack Obama president? Yeah, that Tuesday night. Anyway--I stayed up so late that night, on Wednesday afternoon, I thought I'd steal a little nap. I laid down around 3:00 p.m. and promptly fell into a sporadic, but dream-rich sleep.

My entire dream was consumed by the sound of then-candidate, now-President-elect Obama giving his "Yes We Can" speech set to music by will.i.am of The Black-eyed Peas. I'd been listening to it just before I laid down and I guess the dream part of my brain liked it enough to loop it, over and over and over again. It is a speech that will go down as one of the great, influential speeches of the 21st century. Read it again and be inspired to participate in this next chapter in American history.

It was a good, uplifting dream.

*****

I have nothing to snark about tonight. At least, nothing fully developed. My heart is a little too sad to be snarky. But, I'm still tossing around Tinkerbell the Trollop and I have ideas for a post-mortem piece about Prop 8 in California. I've recently been reconnecting with people from my past and I'm not sure what to think. Plus, I've been pondering the words a Catholic priest spoke to me a few weeks back. To top it all off, we're dealing with a little pet crisis here at home, which is not a positive and has cast a pall of sadness over our house. Let's just say it's only a matter of time.

In the meantime, I leave you with the return of Photo Friday. Originally, I was going to include a picture of Bee's cat, Pogeaux, because he was ailing, but as you've probably noted from the entry last night, the little guy died yesterday. Instead, I give you a picture of the Capitol, where preparations are already underway for the inauguration of President-elect Barack Obama.

Photo copyright: D.C. Confidential

Handsome Boy

2008-11-07T03:30:00.004+01:00

Today, Bee and I had to have her (our) 11-year old Abyssinian, Pogo, the cat I affectionately referred to as The Dirty Bastard Cat, put down. He was diagnosed with lymphoma on Wednesday, took a turn for the worse in the night, and a decision was made to humanely let him go. Even though I claimed not to like cats and while I am an avowed dog person, I learned to love this little guy. I'm going to miss him.

Pogo and his most favoritest toy ever

Pogo the Red, checking out the squirrels on the other side
of his favorite spot: the office window

Rest in peace, Pogie Boy

Our thanks to the fantastic vets and staff at City Paws and to the folks out at Hope Care Center in Vienna, Virginia. Everyone was highly professional, compassionate, and forthright. What was a sad day for us was at least helped along by the kindness of others.

Photo copyright: D.C. Confidential

Impact

2008-11-06T15:34:00.003+01:00

While the election of Barack Obama is historic on so many levels, the majority of voters didn't elect him simply because he is mixed race. Nevertheless, the fact that a black man is our next president is meaningful and impactful in the lives of so many people of color who have fought long and hard for equal rights in our country. CNN does a meaningful fluff piece featuring the women of The View. Whoopi Goldberg and Sherri Shepherd talk about what this means for them. Check it out.

Meanwhile, Eugene Robinson of the Washington Post explains why this election is so meaningful to him and millions of other black Americans. Here is Morning in America.

This morning, I spent about 45 minutes IM'ing with a correspondent who works for CNN London about the results of Tuesday's historic election. He's from New Zealand, but expressed his happiness and said he shed a few tears earlier this week when he watched the response of those who gathered in Chicago and when he listened to President-elect Obama's acceptance speech. Yesterday, a number of visitors from around the world left comments that basically reflect a collective sigh of relief. If you'd like, read their comments here.

Finally, if you missed Oprah's show yesterday, you can see it on her website. She was in the crowd in Grant Park on Tuesday and, based on the shots of her and the Rev. Jessie Jackson, it was a momentous day for both of them.

Remember This?

2008-11-05T19:07:00.002+01:00

~~Palin~~ Barack as President.

Yes we can. Yes we did!

Unbelievable!

2008-11-05T09:41:00.003+01:00

I've been pretty much speechless since 11:00 last night when the networks and the Washington Post declared Barack Obama the 44th President of the United States of America. I'm cross posting this from my photography blog.

*****

Jubilation

Chants and outbursts of jubilation define the crowds that surged into
the streets of Washington and flowed to Pennsylvania Avenue in front of the
White House after it was announced that Barack Obama, the long-shot candidate
and senator from Illinois, had been elected America's 44th president.

Last night, history was made in the United States of America. For the first time, a black man has been elected to the highest office in the land. More than 100 million Americans voted. Of those who voted, 51%, or 52.7 million, cast their ballots for Senator Barack Obama of Illinois. Senator Obama garnered 338 electoral votes, surpassing the 270 needed, and was declared the 44th President of the United States.

Celebrating with the crowd in front of the White House

A large portion of the country burst into spontaneous celebration. Down on Pennsylvania Avenue, in front of the White House, a crowd of thousands gathered to chant "Yes We Can!" and "Yes We Did!" and "Obama! Obama!" Most of them appeared to be students from nearby George Washington and Georgetown Universities, but there were also many who seemed to be coming from the city's neighborhoods and the suburbs of Virginia and Maryland to be a part of history. Up on U and 14th Streets NW--Washington's historic Black Broadway--crowds of people poured out of their homes, restaurants, and bars and began celebrating.

While I was down at the White House tonight, three complete strangers--all African American--hugged me and others. This is a monumental day for them and an opportunity for change for all of us. The pictures I took aren't the greatest. I was being jostled by the crowd at times and didn't want to block the way at other times. But I hope they give you a sense for the moment. Similar celebrations were taking place from coast-to-coast.

About a mile from the White House,
a few people quietly gathered on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.

America has spoken and the way is clear. It won't be easy, but if we work together so much is possible. Last night was a night for all Americans to be proud!

Photo copyright: D.C. Confidential, 11/05/08

11:09 PM - The Washington Post Calls It for OBAMA

2008-11-05T05:08:00.003+01:00