Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Enough Already

What the hell kind of society are we living in where 8 and 9 year old boys are raping 11 year old girls?

What the hell kind of society are we living in where a parent--a grown-up--poses as a young boy on Facebook, draws the attraction of a young girl, then 'breaks up' with her because she's 'mean to her friends' thereby leading her to commit suicide and only then do we learn the alleged boy is actually the mother of a girl who was once friends with the supposed 'mean girl'?

What the hell kind of society are we living in where parents would rather be hip and cool and their kids' 'buddy' than crack down on their kids, do their jobs and actually parent?

I don't understand how a parent could pose as a young boy and deceive someone else's child to the point of suicide or how a father could say there was no sex between his kid and someone's daughter, but it was consensual. What does an eight year old know of consensual?

I would love to have kids. I think I'd make a helluva mom, but after watching the news tonight, there's no way I'd bring a child into this world. Maybe that's selfish of me. I don't know. I honestly don't know how parents do it these days.

Honest to Pete. I think I'm going to close all the windows, draw all the shades, lock all the doors, and pray for the apocalypse 'cause I'm fast losing my faith in humanity.


hm-uk said...


This type of parental behaviour is nothing new - parents have often 'fought' battles on behalf of their children. We call them Little League Parents and some take it a bit too far. It's probably natural to want to protect your child from others bullying him or her, but we forget that adults have spent years building up thick skin and play by different rules of engagement, which can sometimes send kids over the edge.

This is no excuse for what happened to that girl and you would think that a charge of 'inciting' suicide or 'deception' would stick, at least in a civil court.

As for being a parent, I think you would make a fabulous one. You have the sensitivity to recognise when something is hurtful, harmful or morally reprehensible and that's a big part of being a good teacher for children.

Don't draw the shades or lock the doors. Speak up for children and educate them on protecting themselves. Behaviours that we condemn today and pathologize are ones that, perhaps, not so long ago were essential for children's development - as unsavoury as they may seem.

hm-uk said...

God. I hope that didn't sound too sanctimonious...sorry.

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

Aitch: Not at all. It's all a nugget I'm savoring and will comment on later. xo

Sister Mary Lisa said...

I agree with Aitch. You would make a great parent. The caring thought you put into things makes that completely obvious.

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

Having pondered for the last 24 hours…

I know this behaviour is centuries old, however, it isn't the defense of one's offspring that upsets me as much as it's the insidious lengths to which parents are engaging these days that I find disturbing.

I'm not condoning bullying by any stretch, but it seems to me that so many of today's children are so molly-coddled by their parents that they're failing to develop the skills needed to be tough and stand for themselves.

I think a lot of why I’m not a parent is because I wouldn’t molly-coddle enough and my peers would judge me a bad parent. There would be no t.v. or computers in bedrooms. Reading would be the entertainment model of choice in my house. My kids would have manners and would address adults with respect. The latest and greatest whatever would be earned, not given. And extracurricular activities would be carefully selected, because I’m not a chauffeur service.

In truth, I don’t have kids because I’m selfish. I like my quiet, somewhat orderly life. But if I did have them, I’m afraid I’d actually be a parent, not a pal and I’d fail to find an adequate balance. I want a rule book, whereas parenting seems to be largely making up stuff as your go along and hoping it sticks, isn’t detrimental, and gets you through the day. Of course, that’s just life in general, isn’t it?

Hell, I'm talking about stuff I know nothing about. I have no kids or children in my care. Let's call a spade a spade: I'm full of shit.