Tuesday, January 8, 2008


You know that mantra your mother use to holler at you from the kitchen as you'd sneak off into the living room or your bedroom with food? "Eating is to be done in the kitchen! Please come back and eat that in here, thank you."

Yeah, that mantra. There's a reason for it.

The reason would be, by eating in the kitchen you prevent spilling stuff on the furniture and carpets. This in turn prevents the potential for stains and ruined fabrics and shags.

Oh, sure. You're a grown up now and it's your furniture and carpet so Mom's mantra can take a hike. Right? Yeah, sure. Okay. Whatever.

Case in point.

Me, tonight. Big bowl of freshly made, generously buttered and salted, air popped popcorn. Sitting at my desk reading blogs, enjoying aforementioned popcorn. Have been craving this popcorn for more than a week, when I ran out of popcorn and have only just acquired refills.

Big bowl of popcorn. Me. Desk. Blog reading. Yum. The bowl is resting on my leg and is held against the desk and all seems well.

And then: whump! Clang.

I look down in disbelief at my long-awaited and savored bowl of popcorn lying upside down on the floor under my desk. My yummy, warm, buttery, salty popcorn. On the floor. Under my desk. And in my shoes.

After staring at this sad, sad, sad state of affairs, I push my chair back, get down on my hands and knees and start scooping my beloved popcorn back into the bowl. There is no allowance for the five second rule in this house, particularly in a house with cats.

My popcorn is languishing in its bowl, covered in cat hair and carpet fuzz and foot odor. What a waste.

And now, I can't wait for the stain that is going to slowly make itself manifest in the weeks ahead as the unavoidable dust and dirt from my shoes meets the butter and sticks.

So much for enjoying the rest of my popcorn with a little Daniel Craig in the DVD tonight.



Jess said...

In your shoes! That is just so tragic. My god. Is there no more popcorn to be popped?

Anonymous said...

"My popcorn is languishing in its bowl, covered in cat hair and carpet fuzz and foot odor."


I mean, ew.

You could put a cute little throw rug over the spot and spray it with Febreeze once a week?


Anonymous said...

I HATE that - esp. under the computer where no one ever cleans!

Cele said...

I think you should blame it on Dirty Bastard Cat and have yourself a second bowl.

Di said...

Mmmm, popcorn.

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

Jess: Yeah, I had just taken off my shoes before popping said 'corn and they were sitting under my desk. There was more popcorn to be popped (I bought three bottles, after being out of p'corn for over a week), but I was too sad to pop more.

Phoebe: I'm LOL about it now, but last night, I was a sad girl. :-(

Bevy: Me, too! Fortunately, my desk is small and crawling under it to get the popcorn was more a slight on my dignity than an acrobatic strain.

Cele: I think the DBC was channelling negative thoughts my way resulting in the Affair of the Popcorn Lost. I was robbed, I tell you. Robbed!

Di: Mmmmmm, popcorn is right!

Phoenix Touch said...

damn blogger! It went all squonky and it doesn't appear that my brilliant comment from before posted and now I have this damn TWELVE letter captcha word verification thingie! My other one was only FIVE letters. Sheesh! (Doesn't take much to set me off, now, does it?!?!) LOL

And, in case the other comment does appear by some twist of magical fate, I will only recap the part that I am still laughing over...

I loved that label: Fuck Fuck Fuckity Fuck

I use that frequently and it causes my friends to pee their pants when I do.

Anonymous said...

Mmmm, Daniel Craig. Though I doubt you appreciate him in quite the same way I do. ;)

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

JA: Probably not on the same level as you appreciate him, but I definitely appreciate him on many levels. And Denzel Washington. I appreciate him, too. Oh yeah.

Liz said...

I weep for your popcorn loss.

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

Liz: >Sniff Sniff< Boo hoo. Lost popcorn. I'm still sad about it and I've long since had a new bowl, so you'd think I'd get over it.