Sunday, January 13, 2008

New Favorite Saying

"If you can't eat it and you can't hump it, piss on it and walk away."

15 comments:

Jess said...

That's a great saying. My fiance always says that he wouldn't even pee on things he doesn't like. I'll have to teach him this expression, too.

NG said...

How can I work that into my next talk in Sacrament Meeting?

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

Jess: Well, there's no point in wasting perfectly good urine on stuff we don't like, right?

NG: If you can work that into your next talk, I'll come to Sacrament Meeting! Although, I doubt your bishop would find it as catchy as "Salvation without exaltation is damnation."

hm-uk said...

I've got an idea for the talk, ng.

"If it doesn't 'nourish' your soul or 'arouse' your spirit to give thanks to the Lord, then you must purge it from your...loins?... and walk away"

Good luck - I'm convinced that anything can be presented to the masses if marketed in the right manner.

Di said...

Aitch -- LMAO!! Nicely played, sister. :-)

ME said...

That phrase should be in EVERY sacrament meeting talk!

And to make the pissing part easier, I've seen pee chutes/directors marketed to women travelers. Your b-day is only a few months away, isn't it?

Cele said...

Well if you use purge and loins in the sentence won't you have a lot of jerks jerking off everytime they don't like something? Just saying. An piss on it. :)

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

Aitch: You totally, totally rock!

Di: I think we should start our own ward and make Aitch bishop. What do you think?

ME: Oh dear Lord. That's all I need.

Cele: Yuck. You're probably right. Ick.

JulieAnn Henneman said...

Potty humor makes me laugh. If an adult says the word 'poo' I go into hysterics...with the help of a little tequila, too. He he he
Love your new favorite saying.

Oh, may I add you to my blog roll?

ja

Di said...

Oooh, ME -- Aitch brought some of those disposable pee-standing-up-chutes-for-women to Paris. TRIPPY! I didn't try one but I was intrigued...

ME said...

Tewkes, I'll put the other kind of pea shooter in your b-day gift for your inner child. Your inner adult will get the pee chuter to help handle all those adult-level decisions: eat, hump, piss & walk. ;)

I imagine there might be a few inedible items that one *could* hump; then the main decision would be whether said item was humpworthy or pissworthy. Kind of like Seinfeld's "spongeworthy" category.

hm-uk said...

I did bring a she-wee, didn't I? It got me out of a huge mess in a unisex toilet in Poland - yucky! You know, that's probably where the war of the sexes was won - the ability to stand and wee meant you could take on a challenger at any time!

BTW, I think I might have made a pretty good bishop. It's a thankless task, mind you.

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

JulieAnn: Poo, poo, poo.... And yes, please add me to your blog rolls. May I do the same?

Di: Boy, I really did miss all the fun in Paris, didn't I? A mistake I won't make again.

ME: Oh, Lordy again. I already have one set in the glove box of my CR-V. One in my tote bag might come in handy, though, when I'm out on photo safaris...

HM: It's official. You're the bishop of the Tewkesbury Ward. And I promise, we'll all be thankful and express our gratitude often. No thankless jobs here!


All: All those in favor, manifest. Any opposed? Well, too bad.

Phoenix Touch said...

How the hell - oops! HECK - did I miss this post?!?!?!?! I check your blog religiously Tewkesy and I totally missed this! Shit! - oops! SHOOT!

I can't see straight I am laughing so hard. I love all the comments here. Especially the proposed Sacrament meeting talk quote: "If it doesn't 'nourish' your soul or 'arouse' your spirit to give thanks to the Lord, then you must purge it from your...loins?... and walk away"

Holy shit! SHOOT!

xoxox
~Abgue :)

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

Abgue: I wondered where you were!

By the way: cursing allowed. No need to slang it, damn it! ;-)

Aitch's revision of my favorite new quote resulted in her calling as bishop. Well-deserved, don't you think?