Saturday, March 8, 2008

Things You'll Never See on a Bumper Sticker or T-Shirt

There was a time
when I could cough

without farting...


Sometimes,
when I laugh too hard,

I pee a little in my pants...



The Accidental Snot Bubble:
Oh So Sexy!
And Not Just for Toddlers Anymore!!


Prevent Nausea:
Eat More Bananas!

If I bitch and moan
one more time
about how crappy I feel
I'm going to shoot me...


Daylight Saving Time:
Further evidence the government is in control


If you could write a t-shirt or bumper sticker, what would it say?

11 comments:

LG said...

Thank you for listing it as Daylight Saving Time instead of Daylight SavingS Time.

Brought to you by your local OCDish/grammar stickler LG.

Phoenix Touch said...

OMG! LMAO...

MY t-shirt would say...

You know you are an adult when you laugh hard, pee youself because of laughing hard and then laugh at that.

Cele said...

I love these. My T-shirt would say...

I've got my bitch on

Anonymous said...

Well, why won't we see this on T-shirts and bumper stickers? I've seen worse :)

- Phoebe

hm-uk said...

here's mine:

"Yes, it was me who just farted"

hm-uk said...

Here's my bumper sticker:

"If you find this car at the bottom of a cliff just know that I've been meaning to do this for a while, now."

Seriously, I hope they never print that one. Seriously, I hope I haven't really offended anyone.

Jess said...

I got a bumper sticker when I was 10 that read, "The road to hell is paved with Republicans." My father was delighted.

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

LG: Took lots of practice, but I've finally got it down.


Abgue: Excellent! Can you imagine the looks of horror on young people's faces when they realize that's what they have to look forward to?


Cele: LMAO! I want one!


Phoebe: I suppose there's no valid reason why these shouldn't be bumper stickers or t-shirts. Perhaps I should start a line at CafePress...


HM: Lovely! I'd be the one wearing the first t-shirt. As for the bumper sticker, oy. Though it would make people pause and think, wouldn't it? (P.S. Not offended, FYI. But, should I be worried?)


Jess: Excellent! I'd pay real money for that sticker.

Phoenix Touch said...

I am thinking you are TOTALLY on to something, Jay! As we can see from the selection that we wise ones have come up with here, there are a lot of smart asses out there willing to pay good money to advertise that they ARE smart asses!!! I say, "Go for it! Set up that account at CafePress!!!" And let me know when so I can start ordering inventory!!! tee-hee-hee

ME said...

My favorite bumper sticker is: God favors no groups. Only religions do that.

I haven't had the ovaries to put it on my car, though. I can imagine how that would go over in the church parking lot. I do need to get and apply a No Border Wall sticker.

I'm curious: what was the genesis of the accidental snot bubble bumper sticker? Heh, heh.

j.m. tewkesbury said...

Abgue: I just might! I'll let you know if I do.

ME: The genesis for the snot bubble sticker was an errant snot bubble. Nothing like being almost 40, sitting at your desk breathing in and out and on exhale you make a bubble. If that doesn't make you feel young and carefree again, I don't know what does! ;-)

And, if Carolyn Pearson can have a bumper sticker on her car that says "Women are People, too", you can have your sticker.