Friday, April 25, 2008

This [Country] Needs An Enema!

The Washington Post is reporting that Tom Cruise is returning to Oprah's couch next month. This would be non-news, really, but seems she's having him on for two shows.

Why?

Why??

To quote Jack Nicholson as The Joker in Batman, "This [country] needs an enema."

Dear Oprah:

Give us a break.

If you want to feature someone interesting, intelligent, and noteworthy who also possesses star quality, why don't you invite Alan Rickman or Dame Judith Dench or Dame Helen Mirren or Leonardo DiCaprio or Sharon Stone or someone who's actually worth watching and listening to?

Tom Cruise? Whatever.

As for the rest of you out there who are dribbling with glee over Tom's impending two-dayer, go outside and play. It's Springtime and it's beautiful. Find a quiet corner and read a book. Play with your kids. Whatever. But for the love of God, turn off that frigging television and get a life!

9 comments:

Lucy said...

Well...maybe not Sharon Stone. And I really really dislike Tom Cruise. What a waste of time he is. I've been disappointed at a lot of Oprah's show recently. I flip over and laugh with Ellen.

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

Lucy: I use to feel the same about Sharon Stone, but then I saw her on Inside the Actor's Studio with James Lipton. She is one of the most intelligent, articulate people in Hollywood. If she ever comes to Washington on a speaking engagement, I'm getting tickets, she's that good.

lacochran said...

One has to wonder what Tom is hawking now. I'm guessing most guests appear these days not so much by request from the host but by request to the show by their agent to push their latest project.

Then, again, the Tom/Oprah's couch meltdown was so famous, maybe Oprah feels that will be pull enough to draw big numbers to the show.

I dunno.

I know lots of people that LOVE Oprah. Record her, even, so they can watch her once they get home from work. I have nothing against her. She is a good hostess but I don't get the hoopla.

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

Lacochran: Hi! I have to agree with you. Most of what/who appears on Oprah is there because some PR/product placement marketer or an agent got on the phone and begged to be on her show. I have a feeling Tom is moving into damage control mode. Me thinks all is not well in the Cruise-Holmes household...

Oh, fuck. What am I saying?! Why do I care!

So, are you going to bid on dinner with Helen Thomas?

Cele said...

I still don't, never have, never will get the Tom Cruise fascination. Oprah? Well she's losing points with me too, but then I don't watch daytime tv--or it would probably be worse.

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

Cele: I'm with you. I've liked movies that he's been in (A Few Good Men and The Last Samurai come to mind), but only because there were other, better actors in them and the stories were good. Otherwise, he's the most overrated entity in Hollywood. And it still creeps me out that Katie Holmes use to fantasize as a little girl about marrying him. Ick.

Hughes ap Williams said...

Lacochran and j.m. -

I would love to see Helen Thomas on Oprah with an audience of working journalists and journalism students.

Maybe it might be worth going to her site and recommending it.

D.C. Confidential said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
j.m. tewkesbury said...

Hughes: Helen Thomas should be required reading for writers and journalists. I treasure the few hours I spent with her Minneapolis three years ago and I'm a sociologist of religion who was working for a recycling non-profit at the time. Go figure!