Friday, February 27, 2009

Facebook and Seinfeld. Or, Why I'm Annoyed This Morning

Someone--an old friend from high school--kicked my ass today on Facebook. Literally. He took my profile photo and added it to some animated something or other where he then kicked my ass and sent me flying many feet through the sky where I finally landed near some pyramids.

WTF?! I mean seriously?

See, this is one of those Facebook things I don't get and that makes me snarky. I mean, what am I suppose to do with that? I haven't talked to him in over 20 years. He friended me on Facebook and I accepted. Then he kicks me in the ass? Really?! Is this suppose to be funny? Am I suppose to laugh? 'Cause I'm not.


Supposedly NBC has signed Jerry Seinfeld* to a new show wherein celebrities give struggling couples marital advice. This from a man who wooed his wife after she'd returned from her honeymoon with her first husband. In other words, he's a home wrecker. But because he's funny and he claims humor is the key to a good marriage, we're suppose to take advice from him?

And people are worried about gay marriage in this country? I just don't get it. Heterosexual America needs to take a long, hard look in the mirror and realize gays and lesbians aren't the threat. Or, put another way, "We have found the enemy, and it is us."


Obviously, I'm feeling snarky today. (No?! Really? Whodathunkit?)

I've made the bright, shining realization that perhaps I don't value people as deeply or as meaningfully as they value me. Apparently, my sentiments don't run as deep as I thought they did where friends and loved ones are concerned.

Or maybe they do. I don't know.

All I know is, I like/love people exactly the way I do. If it seems my like/love isn't deep enough for you, I don't know how to fix that or even if I should. Or could. I don't know.

If I don't, don't take it personally. It obviously isn't you. It's me.


Snark over. Back to packing boxes.**

* Just like I'm proud of the fact that I never went to BYU, I'm equally proud of the fact that I've never watched a single episode of Seinfeld. I know I'm in the minority when I say, he just isn't that funny. The appeal is lost on me. Sorry. Like I said, it isn't him. It's me.

** Newsflash: I'm moving. To Washington State. You know? The other Washington? That one. Details at 11:00. Or whenever I get to it.


lacochran said...

To me, you've offered a perfectly fine level of like and I appreciate it. Right back atcha.

Maya said...

Another reason not to be on Facebook... ;-)

I'm wondering what brought on this crazy mood this morning?

I think you like/love people just fine!

Lucy said...

Well personally, I am sick sick sick of celebrities thinking they are so much smarter than us they continue to give counseling. They tell us what to say; they tell us how to vote....I've had it with the whole pathetic bunch of Hollywood do nothings. People need to wake up and stop worshiping them. And they can start with Paris Hilton.

There. I feel better. And you're right on the Facebook thing too. Terrible disgusting and sickening to do that to someone. Check my blog for what ng's been going through this week. Seems like it the annual week from hell for everyone.

Lucy said...

Oh...and I tried Facebook for a couple of months. I just didn't feel comfortable with it. I'll stick to blogging.

Rebecca said...

I never got into Seinfeld - I was too irritated by the characters to find the funny. But whatever. If people get a laugh out of it, great for them. (I also went to BYU - don't judge me.)

I'm moving to WA too! Though I have not yet begun to fight...I mean PACK. (argh)

Anonymous said...

You're moving to Washington?!!!

Yay! I think. Anyway, I think that's a great place to move to. Good luck with the packing, etc.

And I'm cool with whatever like you have for me :) My problem is that people dislike me much more than I thought they did.

- Phoebe

P.S. Seinfield is whiny.

Cele said...

Okay I totally missed the "I'm moving to Washington State" thing, did you say this before? It is obviously related to your recent trip. Kewl, and yet bummer, you're my view on the District.

If you wore your likes and affections they way everyone else did, well darn that would make for a boring world. And think of how hard it would be to hide dislike while having to dwell, exist, and interact in the work a day world. I mean how would we hid our crushes, our dislikes, our abhorances of others in the name of business if we all wore our likes and dislikes the same way, at the same depth, at the same transparency. Sheeople need to get lives. Not that it makes the world go-round or stop in its tracks, but I like you just the way you are.

Seinfeld? Don't get him at all. Although his monologue about candy, trick or treating and Superman was hysterican in a whiney manic way.

Facebook? Don't get it either.

So anyway welcome to myside of the world.

Phoenix Touch said...

I've b een wondering where the move was taking you. You're gonna be sooooo much geographically closer to me now!!! Woooohooooo!

my captcha word is making me laugh: harolat
Is that a harlot that likes chocolat?

D.C. Confidential said...

Lacochran: Thank you! And the feeling is mutual.

Maya: Totally. As for the crazy yesterday morning--getting my ass kicked and an email from a friend. Let's just say I'm tired of handholding some people in my life.

Lucy: Yeah, I'm pretty much done with the celebrity-as-expert thing, too. If Britney Spears can get married and divorced in 57 hours, what does that say about how society values marriage? What is there to defend about that? As for Angie: that's awful! Is there anything we can do to help?

Rebecca: I'm so glad to know I'm not alone on the Seinfeld thing. Whiny is the right word for it. I don't do whiny. So, where in WA are you moving to? I'll be in Langley, on Whidbey Island. P.S. I won't judge you for going to BYU.

Cele: You didn't miss it. I think this is the first time I've mentioned it on my blog. Like a said, more details to come as I find a longer pocket of time. And I concur with everything you said about likes/dislikes, Seinfeld, and Facebook. Can't wait to visit you in your part of the Left Coast!

Abgue: If I drive through SLC, I'll let you know. Perhaps we could meet up for lunch/dinner. And, I have no doubt I'll be that way at least once a year. I have an aunt in Murray and I, when I lived in CA, I'd sometimes spend Thanksgiving with her.

My word verification: speweid. Obviously that's what I did yesterday. Thanks for putting up with my venting everyone!

foundinidaho said...

Welcome to the Pacific Northwest! As you know, we're a fine bunch of people here.

Although some of us live in a very red state. Not as red as Utah though.

As someone who has just moved and is still unpacking I feel your pain. I hope your move, like mine is such a happy thing it helps with hating the boxes.

Oh, and your venting makes for fun reading. I'm not sure I can vent wittily. (is that a word?)

My word verification is bunkle. I think that means something but I'm not sure what. :)

Brian said...

Snark away, girl! I enjoy listening to it, and couldnt agree with the sentiment more! Yes, the "straight ones" do find themselves some funny icons. Good thing us homos are pure as the driven snow and have impecible morals, right! :) haha

Hope the packing is nearing it's end.

Liz said...

The OTHER Washington? Can I come?


Rebecca said...

I'm moving to Bellingham - north of Seattle, just south of Canada. And on second thought, go ahead and judge me for going to BYU. It was totally my own fault.

D.C. Confidential said...

FII: Moving is bunkle. We should take a page out of our ancestors' playbook: pack a change of clothes, provisions for a week, some bedding, and a few snacks. Then shut the door behind you, lock it and leave everything else behind you. Where in Idaho are you? I might be driving through that way in a week or so.

Brian: My sanity for packing is nearing it's end. I can't seem to find the matches...

Liz: Absolutely! Come on out.

Rebecca: I'll be in Langley, on Whidbey Island. We'll have to get together. When are you moving?

Rebecca said...

I'm moving at the end of this month (it's already MARCH?!?!?) if all goes as planned.

D.C. Confidential said...

Rebecca: Excellent! We'll have to hook up after we've settled in a bit. I'm moving in three phases: Phase I is Wednesday when all the crap leaves the house and goes to Washington. Phase II involves getting my house here in D.C. ready to rent. Phase III involves a second road trip to my final destination some time in April.

Good luck with all your packing and moving!

Rebecca said...

Road trip! Fun! I have ALWAYS wanted to do a cross-country road trip, but so dice. I shall be going by air (BLECHHHH).

We should definitely meet up sometime - I won't have a car, but I'm sure there are buses and boats and...stuff.

Good luck to you, too! Moving sucketh, let's be honest.

D.C. Confidential said...

Rebecca: Flying?! Well, where's the fun in that? If you ever get a chance to do a road trip, go for it. It can be quite fun.

NG said...

Wait, you're moving??!? I've been a bit out of the loop. Am sincerely sorry that you won't be close anymore... I know it's not like we hung out every week, but meeting for pizza with you in Washington is going to be a lot longer lunch break now.

D.C. Confidential said...

NG: Yes. I'll give you a call when I get back into town in a couple of weeks and we'll get together for lunch. I'm going to really miss you guys, but I'll be back and forth a bit throughout the year as we're keeping the house and renting it out. Plus, my family is still here.

Wicked H said...


You'll certainly be missed in these parts.

Wishing you much luck and happiness in the upper left Coast.

D.C. Confidential said...

Wicked: My one regret, as I prepare to leave this august town is, we've never met. As far as I'm concerned, that's just flat out tragic!

foundinidaho said...

Tewkes - I'm in Boise. Give me a shout out if you come through and you think you'll have any time to meet up for a drink or some food. I know all the good spots to eat.

D.C. Confidential said...

FII: You're on! How shall I contact you if I pass through Boise? You can email info at

Adriana Velez said...

OK, your facebook frenemy--I want to drop kick him all the way to Singapore. Jerkface!

But I'm so happy for your move to Wash state--what a grand adventure. Sending happy packing vibes. You'll get there!

D.C. Confidential said...

Adriana: Have at it! Look for Jeff Lott.

Thanks for the good vibes on the move. They're needed!

Liseysmom said...

I still can't believe you are moving. I totally dig your DC commentaries. And photos. *sniff, sniff* Hopefully we can get together one more time before you leave us...

foundinidaho said...

Sent you an e-mail. It would be great to meet you!

Anonymous said...

I feel compelled to say:

- You didn't reply to Pheobe's comment!

- I love Seinfeld.

- I dig Facebook. I'm sure the ass-kicking thing was *meant* to be funny...some things don't really work, though, do they.

- I'm a dork. But I'm a dork who's also your FAN! :-)

I wish you were moving here!

- Di

D.C. Confidential said...

Lisey's Mom: We'll definitely have to try to get together before I leave. I may have to throw a party. You're on the invite list for sure!

FII: Got the email. So far, it's looking like we'll drive across Montana and the northern part of Idaho.

Di: I feel compelled to reply:

- Good Lord! You're right. Sorry Pheebs. I'll get right on that!

- I know you do. I wish I did. I hope we can still be friends despite our differences regarding Seinfeld! ;-)

- I'm sure the ass kicking was meant to be funny, too. Only it wasn't. Harumph.

- You may be a dork, but you're our dork and we love you.

- I wish I was moving to your neighborhood, too.

Phoebe: I'm moving to Washington State. Langley, to be specific. Whidbey Island to be even more specific. Come and visit some time! Oh, and yes, Seinfeld is whiny.

foundinidaho said...

Tewkes - are you at Whidbey yet? I have a friend in the Naval Reserve that goes up there for duty. Who knows, maybe we will yet meet someday. Glad there wasn't a storm for your sake so you go to go the "easy" way there!

Katherine said...

MOVING? Noooooooooooooooooooooo...

D.C. Confidential said...

FII: I was in Whidbey and I have long since returned. But I'll be heading that way again in about a month. Prepare for Road Trip II!

Katherine: I know. Boo. Hiss. But it's an island. How many people can say they've lived on an honest-to-goodness island? Come visit sometime. Perhaps you could show those Islanders a thing or two about vodka consumption!

LiLu said...

Washington? State? Whaaaaaa?

D.C. Confidential said...

LiLu: Washington: yes. State: yes. For at least a year anyway. Maybe longer. I'm gonna miss the blogging community here. When I come back for visits, will you all let me go out for drinks with you?