Monday, August 10, 2009

When Did Getting a Glass of Water Become So Difficult?!

Water in a wine glass / Paris, FR


Simple liquid. Covers 2/3 of the earth's surface area. Comprises 2/3 of our physiological make-up. Usually the main ingredient in juices, shampoos, perfumes, and various other liquidy things. In the States, when you go to a restaurant, it's generally the first thing they bring you before they take your drink, appetizer, entree, or dessert order.

Around here? Not so simple.

It isn't a given the minute you sit down at a restaurant. You have to ask for it. Then begins a catechism that makes the Holy Roman Catholic Church's version look benign in comparison.

Would you like that with ice or without?

Do you want gassy, natural, or tap?

Would you like French, Swiss or Italian?

Do you prefer water from the alps or water from the lake?

Would you like a glass, a bottle, or a carafe?

Do you want your own or will you share?

Would you like that now or later?

Do you believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth, of all that is seen and unseen, and in His Son, Jesus Christ and in the Holy Spirit?

Oh, sorry. Bit distracted there...

My point is: Good God, folks! It's water! All I want is water! How hard can it be?

Hmph. Rant over.


lacochran said...

I don't mind carbonated, but I think I'd pass on the gassy. :)

Cele said...

Do you want your own, or will you share?

Ohmigawd I will be chuckleing over that for a day or two. I remember having to ask for wasser when I went to a Gaus Haus for dinner. But what I remembered (of course this was 32 years ago) was how bad the water taste.

Gilahi said...

See, this is why you should start drinking. Ordering a bourbon is SO much easier.

Maya said...

Hah! And you forgot to add that it all has to be done in FRENCH! argh...

Maya said...

@Gilahi: So TRUE! I've just about given up on water and am on the road to alcoholism.

Janet Kincaid said...

Lacochran: I know, right?! And yet, that's how they refer to it every.single.time. Makes me wish I knew how to say, "No, I don't want fart water, merci!" :-D

Cele: I think the water has vastly improved in the last 30 years. I will tell you, the water in Switzerland is definitely better than the water in France. Go figure.

Gilahi: When in Rome, eh? Okay, I confess, I've tried the wine. Not much better than the water, but I will say, French wine is better than Swiss. Go figure.

Maya: Good point. I forgot to mention that, didn't I? Yes, trying to do all of this in French makes it infinitely more difficult.

Anonymous said...

Cool picture!

While we're on the subject, I want to gripe that I thought that a cold Diet Coke was a given, but not in Germany, where the default is a Diet Coke that is as warm as the air that surrounds it.


Hapi said...

hello... hapi blogging... have a nice day! just visiting here....

Anonymous said...

I can't believe you're just gonna diss on Swiss wines. Hmph. French ones ARE the yummiest though lol.

Water in France isn't so hard -- a "carafe d'eau" means a carafe of tap water. Otherwise, look at the menu and see which waters they offer and order by brand name. I get by fine with "Pellegrino" or "Perrier" in France lol.

- Di

Janet Kincaid said...

Phoebe: I think, when Di first got here, she had the same gripe! You'd think ice was a commodity or something around here they way they dole it out two cubes at a time. Sheesh.

Hapi: Hello, Hapi. Be happy.

Di: Yeah, I know. I'm dissing on the Swiss wine. Truth is, I'm not 100% sure I've had a good wine while I've been here, except maybe that stuff we had in the Alsace. Then again, I wouldn't know a good wine from a bad if it hit me over the head. They all taste the same to me.

Scenic Wheaton said...

You forgot to mention the price: 4.50/glass. (And the Swiss will freely tell you their wine is terrible).

Janet Kincaid said...

Wheaton: And that's in Euros, which comes out to about $6.00/glass! As for Swiss wine, I have yet to hear the Swiss diss it (although, I haven't asked), but the Germans sure do!

Robin said...

I guess asking for a slice of lime or lemon would be beyond impossible. (And, thanks for your "fan" who suggested ordering specific waters........ should I ever get the opportunity to travel abroad, I'll remember this.)