Sometimes, the Real View is Behind You...

Facebook has turned out to be an interesting adventure. It's a place of quick jabs and soundbites, where all of us post quirky little quips and LOLcats in an effort to amass as many "Likes" as possible. It's a venue where instant gratification is the currency of every minute. It's a pseudo-social setting where thoughts we would have normally kept to ourselves or shared with a limited few in our immediate vicinity become available to hundreds, if not millions, of other Facebookers depending on our settings. It's a place where we frequently talk and share as if we're living, breathing bumper stickers.

For me, it's been a mixed bag. On the one hand, it's a lot of fun to stay in touch with friends near and far and to do it in nearly real time. It's a place where you see the joy and happiness and gratitude of so many friends and loved ones. It's also a place where you experience a lot of whinging and bitterness, anger and snarkiness, passive-aggressive jabs and just downright ugly slugfests. While I try to keep the things I post fun, uplifting, informational, and intelligent, I don't always succeed. I also know, I really struggle to keep my own snark, backstabbing, and passive-aggressiveness at bay.

I can't tell you how many times a day I'll start to write a comment on somebody's status update and then I'll delete it, because I know I'm being unkind or judgmental or just plain rude. It's everything I can do in some of those moments to not reach out and cyberly bitch slap someone and yell, "Snap out of it, you whiny, boorish prat!" or say something snide. Seriously. And, truth be told, I'm sure there are friends, real and friended, who want to do the same to me.

All of that is a long-winded way to say, I've decided to step away from Facebook for a little bit for the next week. Aside from posting my gratitude list each day, the occasional Instgram or Streamzoo picture, and articles of interest from the WaPo, CNN, the Beeb, the New York Times, etc., as well as links to these blog posts, I'm running silent and deep for the next seven days. I won't be liking anything. I won't be reading the latest in everyone's lives. I won't be posting the latest in my life. I can't imagine what that will be like, but I know at one time, that's what life was like. I'm going to try it again and see what happens.

Reflections : Plitvice, Croatia : May 2012

Photo copyright: Janet M. Kincaid. All Rights Reserved.

FOR SALE : 550+ Acres of Productive Farm Land with Buildings

 FOR SALE : 

550+ Acres of Productive Farm Land with Buildings

Tired of urban living? Sick of traffic in the 'burbs? Want to get your hands dirty and live off the land?

Tuckered out virtual farmer seeks to sell 550+ acres of productive farm land with well-kept buildings, pristine machinery, gorgeous orchards, and healthy animals. Property includes the following:

558 acres of land
1 large beehive
1 large dairy farm
   - 17 black and white holsteins
   - 20 chocolate cows
   - 1 bull
   - Room for two (2) more cows
1 super chicken coop
   - 28 golden chickens
   - 17 Cornish hens
   - 8 Rhode Island Reds
   - 7 Scots Gray hens
1 nursery
   - 8 holstein calves
   - 2 brown and white calves
   - 1 chocolate calf
   - 1 cream draft foal
   - 1 buckskin foal
   - 1 red foal
   - 1 brown foal
   - 2 black foals
   - 4 gray foals
1 horse barn
   - 18 black horses
   - 8 gray horses
   - 3 cream draft horses
   - 1 white stallion
1 pig pen
   - 9 black pigs
   - 8 ossabow pigs
   - 1 white pig
   - 1 strawberry pig
   - 2 piglets
   - 1 spider named Charlotte :-)
1 animal feeding trough
1 farmhouse with two clothes lines
1 garden shed
   - 30 bunches of sunflowers, tulips, irises, and edelweiss with capacity for 100 bunches
1 red barn, 1 shed, and 1 cellar with capacity for 340+ objects
   - Items stored include a post office, a mini villa, a French maison, a greenhouse, a mini Dutch windmill, 3 pink cottages and 4 black cottages, a Swiss cabin, a school house, various and sundry yard decorations, and some extra fencing
1 biplane, good for instant growing
1 harvester
1 seeder
3 tractors
1 combine
1 Adobe dwelling
1 large Swiss chalet
1 small Swiss chalet
1 Lighthouse
1 five-star Winery
5 market stalls
2 windmills
20 farmhands
11 arborists
9 packages of Fertilize All
2 dogs
1 cat
A menagerie of goats, donkeys, sheep, and turtles
More than 1,000 gallons of gas
2.6 million coins
6 Farmville bucks
Various awards and ribbons
Numerous collections
Small orchards comprised of fruit and nut trees
1 squirrel

This beautiful farm has been extremely productive and has mastered: carrots, artichokes, potatoes, corn, rice, onions, pumpkins, pineapples, strawberries, white and red grapes, cranberries, blueberries, watermelons, tomatoes, pink roses, sunflowers, daffodils, red tulips, irises, candy corn, and cupcakes. Also, level two master of red table wine, level one master of white sangria, and level one fruit wine.

All this can be yours for a bottle of prosecco and a plate of oatmeal, chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and happy (photo) Friday!

Getta Life, Would'ja!

Facebook. Ugh. Case in point, recent status update exchange, which is just further evidence I need to find a new hobby.

J.M. Tewkesbury: Is it just me or are the horses disproportionately large on FarmVille? And while we're discussing animal husbandry... Wanted: Cows. I need 16 more to complete my dairy farm.

J.M. Tewkesbury: Oh, and fertilizer. I could use fertilizer. Thanks Jeff and Jane for stopping by earlier and spreading some around!

J.M. Tewkesbury: Also, why can't I put the horse in my barn? I want to be able to post a status update one day that says, "The horse has left the barn", but I can't well do that if I can't put the bloody horse in the bloody barn. Sheesh. Stupid game! :-D

Emm Ell: I was thinking the same thing!! I'll send cows soon.

J.M. Tewkesbury: Bless you!

Sideon: Cows and chickens for me, please :) Look ma, no mess farming!

J.M. Tewkesbury: Sid: You got it! The favorite part of my farm: it doesn't smell! :-)

J.M. Tewkesbury: Thanks for the cows, everyone! Mr Swizzies, Emm, Polly, Winnie, and... Oh, shoot. I can't remember the fifth cow giver. Diana? Terry? Jane? Well, whoever it was, thank you! I'm now 11 cows away from being Ma'hana! :-)

*****

Sigh.

I think I should go for a walk. It's obvious my brain is not getting enough blood.

Success!

We have just concluded a highly successful Thanksgiving that featured the best damn turkey I've had out of three. (It was slaughtered 24 hours before we consumed it and brined for 12 hours before we cooked it. Result: Moist and amazing!) My crescent rolls rose properly, which means I didn't kill the yeast. (I also doubled up on it, which probably helped, too.)

The best part of a meal like this is the team effort. We all--Ms Swizzies, Mr Swizzies, Maya and I--pitched in and the results were delicious.

*****

In a different vein, I'm noodling a blog post on why I think Glenn Beck should be excommunicated from the Mormon Church. I may or may not come back to this at a later date.

*****

In another different vein, I've been playing Farmville. In fact, here's a picture for you: last night, as we're all sitting around comatose from turkey and rolls and potatoes and the like, silence descends upon the room. Typically, if we were in the States, we'd have the football game or something else on the television. Instead, three of us were sitting in front of our computers playing Farmville and Mr Swizzies was playing his portable PlayStation.

How pathetic are we? But hey, the good news is, I now have a chicken coop, a seeder, and I'm the Grand Master of composting! Or, as my sister would tell you, I'm just making up shit as I go along and I now have the manure to prove it!

Happy (belated) Thanksgiving everyone!

Facebook. Or, How I've Eaten My Own Words. Again.

Bread : Paris, FR

Remember back here when I said I wasn't going to get sucked into Facebook? Yeah, well, I lied.

Here are my status updates for the last couple of weeks.

My to-do list is longer than I am tall. And that's not difficult, because I'm not very tall.

I should be in bed, but instead I've been bitten by a mosquito THREE TIMES and now I'm up and wide awake. Dirty bastard mosquito!

Is it Friday yet? I need a vacation. Or a day off. I'd be fine with just that.

Wanted: Postcards.

Still six documents in the queue to be edited, because one was added to it today for a total of seven. But, no more headache or tummy ache. I've had a bath and some dinner and life is good.

Headache. Tummy ache. Dark and grey and rainy outside. And six documents in the queue to be edited. Bleh. I need a sick day, but no chance.

It's official. I'm declaring tomorrow a non-day. Monday will be moved to Tuesday and consolidated with Wednesday. That is all.

I'm starting a movement. I'm demanding that the international community (whoever that vague, amorphous entity may be) allow Hulu and Netflix users the right to stream their favorite television shows and movies regardless of their location outside the United States and the District of Columbia. In other words, I WANT TO USE MY NETFLIX SUBSCRIPTION AND WATCH THE MOVIES IN MY "INSTANT QUEUE," DAMN IT!

FB: What Pinky and the Brain were working on in their quest to "try to take over the WORLD!!!"

J. M. Tewkesbury is having a good outfit day. Where is Bob Crowe when I need a new head shot?!

Do you ever have days when all you want to do is get out your coloring books and crayons and spend the day coloring? Me, too.

"Today is a rather day."

Monday. Plechy.

Hm. I'm sensing a theme... Damn Facebook!

In the meantime, the above photo was taken in Paris this summer. Happy (Photo) Friday, friends!

Pimpin' to the Village Idiots

Living overseas, I swore I'd stay on top of the news out of Washington while I was over here, but it's difficult when CNN is the international version and you can only read so much of the Washington Post. Thankfully there's Facebook. This clip from Rachel Maddow's show is courtesy of my friend Sideon.

Duly Noted...

This is the first year I haven't been in the States on September 11. While September 11 is not insignificant to our European neighbors, it also isn't memorialized with wall-to-wall coverage in the days leading up to and on the date itself like it is in the States.

While I haven't forgotten the significance of this date or its impact on the lives of thousands of individuals and families, I also didn't miss the coverage and the replay of planes crashing into towers, people jumping from unfathomable stories, or montages of memorial benches outside the Pentagon. My mind this past weekend was focused on how I can get out of my own little world of self-focus and self-absorption and give back to the community and how I can do something positive to counteract one of America's most horrific days.

I'm still working on that, but in the meantime, someone on Facebook mentioned this site built by a young woman who was born on September 11 and was 10 years old on that day in 2001. I love her idea and the belief that the good that was born on that day can counteract the bad that was done.

*****

Switching gears for a bit, my friends Gilahi and L.A. Cochran crack me up and are two of my favorite people. Recently, Gilahi reported on a conversation regarding the origin and chemistry of soap that absolutely cracked me up. Here is In a Land Called Honalee.

I've been catching up a bit on my blog reading, having fallen pathetically behind. There are two things I want for Christmas this year: this ice cube tray and, thanks to my friend NG who brought this must-have to my attention, a Boo Boo Bunny. Don't you think that would be perfect during a migraine? I'm thinking, "Yeah."

*****

Comestibles that make me love living in Europe:

Darbo Jams from Austria

Almdudler, the national soft drink of Austria

Teekanne FixMinze Tea from Germany

President Butter (with large grains of sea salt) from France*

Croissants from Sébastien Brocard in St-Genis, France

Raclette, fondue, and rösti from Switzerland


*****

There you have it. Not sure this restores my blog mojo, but it's a start.


* Before all you foodies and Francophiles go busting my chops about how President Butter is so not good butter, please note this: I know there are better French butters. The best French butters come from family-owned dairies and can be found in the farmers' markets throughout the country. For a commercial brand, though, President Butter with large grains of sea salt is quite good. So is Payson-Breton butter. Let me put it another way: even the suckiest, most commercial French butter is better than almost all other butters. I've heard Swedish butter surpasses them all, but I haven't had Swedish butter yet, so I wouldn't know definitively.

Random Nothingness

I've got nothing, except this side-by-side comparison:

On the left, the European symbol for the Autoroute / Autobahn / Autostrada and,
on the right, the logo for the upcoming Olympics in Vancouver, Canada. Hm.

Is it just me, or does it look like the folks who created the logo for the Vancouver 2010 Olympics were inspired by the European auto route symbol?

Let's punch it up a notch. This is my new profile picture on my Facebook account. I made it using this site. I'm sure there's nothing unique about me doing it. I just needed a little more filler here.

Not entirely accurate. I don't wear lipstick and I don't have cool glasses,
but it was either this or a dress and we know that ain't gonna happen!

Also, I think this looks nothing like me, but a lot like my high school friend Laura Sumison. Not a lot of choice for women of my dapperness on the Mad Men site.

See? Random nothingness. I need to get my blog mojo back.

ABM: Another Bloody Meme

So, before I post this meme, which a few of you have already read elsewhere, I have to confess something.

I'm on Facebook.

Yes, it's true. I'm a lemming. A sheep. A slavish follower. I have succumbed to the social trend and joined the hoary masses who participate in the social networking phenomenon. Let me say, for the record, I was drug* kicking and screaming into this affair. Ultimately, though, I can't blame anyone but myself. I drank the Kool-aid. No one forced me.

So far, it's been fun to reconnect with old friends from elementary school, high school, grad school, and my mission.

There are a few things I could live without, though.

First, requests to be friends with people who are only adding me because we have a friend in common. Just because you know my friend Diana (as an example), doesn't mean I'm your friend or want to be. Unless I've met you in person and/or spent any amount of time with you, I'm not friending you. If I'm mistaken and we have met, include a note and remind me where and how we met. Then I might consider it.

Second, requests to be on your "top girls list." I know this is meant to be a collection of your peeps, but when I read that my sexually charged mind thinks, "Yes, I do like to be a top. But I like being a bottom, too. I'm flexible that way." I'm pretty sure, when you asked me to be a part of your "top girls list" that's not what you had in mind. Just sayin'...

Third, I don't want a "funspace", a contest request to see if I'm smart or nice,** and I definitely don't want a garden patch or whatever the hell that is.

All in all, Facebook is proving to be a nice way to reconnect with folks and banter back and forth a bit. It's even generated some new business for me, which is great. But, I'm 40 years old. Not 16. Flair and flowers in my patch are so 1986.***

Now, where were we?

Oh, yes. The meme. Another bloody meme. Well, here it is: 25 Things It's Important You Know About Me. I'm not tagging anyone. If you want to play along, go for it!

Rules:

Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

*****

1. I only hear in one ear. My right ear. As a result, I like to do the driving, otherwise, I can't hear you. One day, I'm going to move to one of those countries where they drive on the left side of the road so I can be the passenger for a change.

2. I was Tinkerbell in my first grade play at Maeser Elementary School. Some of my friends, when they hear that story, inevitably respond by saying, "That explains EVERYTHING."

3. I can tie a tie in a double-Windsor knot and I'm very good at it. I also look good in the same.

4. I only have two regrets in my life: not going to med school and giving up the piano.

5. I'm fascinated by the need religion plays in the life of individuals and how it manifests itself on the social landscape. As a result, I will spend the rest of my life paying off my student loans for a master's degree in Religion and Society.

6. Every time I go to Baskin & Robbins, I swear I'm going to get something other than mint chocolate chip. I never do.

7. I write other people's resumes for a living and really enjoy it. I hate writing my own.

8. My favorite monument in all of Washington, D.C., is the Lincoln Memorial.

9. Last year, I took over 10,000 pictures with my Canon A630. I'm hoping I don't take quite that many this year, but I'd certainly love to sell that many!

10. I believe in equal pay regardless of gender, equal rights regardless of sexual orientation, and the separation of church and state. Note on the latter: marriage in this country is a violation of the separation clause every.single.day. Think about it.

11. I have unwittingly become a fan of Harry Potter. When I grow up, I want to be Hagrid.

12. I love James Bond films. As a feminist, I can't explain it. It just is.

13. I believe Pink Martini will save the world.

14. I know more about pulp and paper than I ever thought I would. And I'm grateful, because it pays the bills. Literally.

15. There are very few people in my life for whom I would throw myself in front of a bus. Two of them are here on Facebook.

16. I want to learn how to dance.

17. I served an LDS Mission to Vienna, Austria, and spent two Christmases there. Everyone should experience Christmas in Europe at least once in their lifetime.

18. I am proud that I did NOT go to BYU. Sometimes I can be really smug and snotty about it, too. I like to think I was original that way. (See what I mean? Snotty.) Go Patriots!

19. My favorite restaurant in the whole wide universe is Ti Couz in San Francisco at 16th and Valencia.

20. My reading pile currently includes the following books: Intersex (For Lack of a Better Word) by Thea Hillman, No Graves As Yet by Anne Perry, Written on the Body by Jeanette Winterson, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Pie Society by Mary Ann Schaffer and Annie Barrows, Catch-22 by Joseph Heller, A Separate Peace by John Knowles, and The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama. Bottom line: I like to read. A lot.

21. The only show I watch on TV with any regularity is NBC's The Biggest Loser. Otherwise, meh. TV. Overrated.

22. I love going to the symphony and the ballet. I also love Shakespeare.

23. I enjoy cooking and baking, and especially enjoy cooking for friends. I don't need a reason for a dinner party, so come on over!

24. Speaking of cooking, I make the world's best oatmeal. Seriously.

25. I believe in writing and sending thank-you notes.


******

* Or is it dragged? Where's my New Yorker, the bastion of proper and current grammar?
** The answer on those two is "yes" and "yes".
*** Why does that sound suggestive, too? Hm. Obviously I have sex on the mind today.