Things that make me peckish include the following and in no particular hierarchy of peckishness:
1. Playlist.com
I'm sure you've seen this little widget on blogs and MySpace and Facebook pages everywhere. It's that annoying little gadget that starts playing the blog owner's favorite music the minute you open their web page or whatever. I wouldn't mind it so much if most people I know with these actually had decent taste in music. Unfortunately, they don't. The sad part is, most of the people I know with these widgets are related to me.
Primary result: I have to mute my computer's speakers or pause their playlist so I don't have to listen to Janice Kapp Perry's Top 10 or 50 Greatest Hits of Christian Pop or whatever while I'm reading their blogs.
Secondary result: Despite most of these Playlist.com users being related to me, I have decided, I am not related to them.
2. Microsoft Vista
If you haven't upgraded, DON'T! Could there be a stupider, more ill-conceived software upgrade on the planet? Microsoft Vista is further proof that we're all a bunch of soft-minded, mushy-brained, spineless lemmings. Microsoft knows it can fob this shit off on us and we won't do a damn thing about it, except piss and moan, then hunker down, suck it up, and learn to deal while the Evil Empire laughs all the way to the bank. Again.
Primary result: A strong desire to fling Bee's PC with Microsoft Vista straight out the window.
Secondary result: Uninstalling Microsoft Vista and replacing it with good old, reliable, user-friendly Microsoft XP. (Who ever thought you'd find the words "reliable" and "user-friendly" in the same sentence with Microsoft?)
3. Doctors Who Don't Listen to Me
For more than two years now, I've been begging my gynecologist for a hysterectomy. For two years now, she has poo-poo'ed my begging. For more than two years now, everything about being a woman biologically has made me achy, tired, and, more recently, bitchy. I'm done with that.
Primary result: I'm calling my insurance company this week to find out what requirements have to be met for the aforementioned procedure to be covered by their evil asses/my healthcare policy.
Secondary result: I'm finding a new doctor who will take me seriously and not dismiss me with a passive-aggressive feint (i.e. calling my bluff snidely.)
4. WikiAnswers
This past weekend, Bee had cousins in town for a family wedding. On Friday night, I took them on my famous "Washington at Night" tour. (It's a really good tour. If you ever come to visit me, I'll take you on it and I promise you'll love it.) One of Bee's cousins asked, "Which monument is the oldest" on the National Mall. I was stumped. I wanted to say the Washington Monument, but I wasn't 100% sure and I said as much. Today, I went to Google and typed in the words "oldest monument Washington DC" and was directed to WikiAnswers where this was the answer (click on the image to enlarge.) Be sure to pay special attention to the yellow box above the Q and A:
Primary result: I'm signing up for WikiAnswers and giving them a piece of my mind. Morons!
Secondary result: I'm going back to bed and only getting up again when the intelligence quotient of the average citizen in this country meets or exceeds the minimum I.Q. of Albert Einstein when he was five years old.
P.S. The Washington Monument is the oldest monument/memorial on the National Mall. Construction commenced in 1848, was postponed by lack of funding and the Civil War, resumed in 1875, and was dedicated in 1885. The youngest monument/memorial on the National Mall is the World War II Memorial. Building started in 2001 and was finished and dedicated in 2004. Just so's ya know...
In all fairness, there are also things that don't make me peckish. Today, they happen to be:
1. This Joke
Did you hear the one about the dyslexic devil worshiper?
Seems he sold his soul to Santa.
Hee hee hee. Love that!
2. The Big Broadcast on WAMU 88.5
If you like old-time radio shows, this is the station to listen to on Sunday evenings between 7:00 and 11:00 ET. Every Sunday evening, WAMU 88.5 has a program with Ed Walker called The Big Broadcast. Last night, I listened to Dragnet, Gunsmoke, The Lone Ranger, Johnny Dollar, and a couple of other mystery shows and, like Sundays' past, thoroughly enjoyed myself.
As a kid growing up in Utah, we use to listen to KSL on the AM dial. Every evening at 8:00, they played Radio Mystery Theater narrated by E.G. Marshall. I loved that shows with its creepy, rusty-hinged door opening intro and Marshall just as creepily intoning, "Gooooood Evvvvening..." That show use to scare the bejesus out of me, but I loved it! And it was something we shared with our mom, who grew up with radio shows and instilled a similar love in us.
3. Fun Facts About Pope Benedict XIV
The Pope is coming! The Pope is coming!
Yeah, seems Herr Benedict is coming to Washington, D.C. Merchandising has already started and little factoid sites have been popping up all over the place in an effort to educate all of us about His Holiness. Seems the dude knows how to fly a helicopter, but never learned how to drive a car. Apparently, he also has a fondness for cats. (Maybe I could give him the Dirty Bastard Cat as a token of goodwill.) Oh, and some brewery in his home state of Bavaria has brewed and named a beer after him called Pabstbier. Lucky guy!
Of course, I never poke fun at other faiths without poking fun at my own tribe. I think it's wrong not to be equally opportunistic in my teasing. So, here's something for a good eyeroll from the Mormons. Worst piece of Mormon "art" I've seen. Ever.
4. Discovering that Washington, D.C., once had an Embassy of the Confederacy
Yep, it's true.
Down on 16th Street there's a home that once was the Confederate Memorial Hall after the secession of hostilities that ended the Civil War. Apparently, it served as the Confederate Memorial Association's embassy to the nation's capitol. From what I can gather, though, in a fit of persecution and hatred, the U.S. Courts (of Northern Aggression, I might add,) forced them to close their doors nearly 10 years ago.
I'd love to be invited to dinner parties in that home. Can you imagine the conversations?
There.
Things that make me peckish. And things that don't.
And now I need to decide what to have for dinner. Any suggestions?
