Monday, June 2, 2008

Flash of Brilliance...

...Two Years Later.

I don't know whether I should be gratified by this or just walk away and shake my head in dismay.

Every once in a very, very blue moon, I check out the website of the environmental recycling organization I worked for a couple of years ago. As a few of you may recall, I was their director of fund development. I put together a pretty robust fundraising plan that resulted in some impressive increases in sponsorships for the organization's two largest annual events and could have resulted in some very impressive funding from foundations and corporate donors if the executive director had actually given me and the proposed work the proper time of day.

Instead, she ignored me and wouldn't reply to my emails or requests for meetings. Then, without indication and on the last day of the fiscal year, she told me I was "tedious to work with", giving me a common character trait with butternut squash, and sent me packing.

So, today, I thought, "What the hell. I'll have a look at the latest goings-on at the wretched former employer. Maybe they've finally fired the wretched former boss!" (In the secret and darkest corners of my heart, I hope bad karma for the WFB. You would, too, if you'd had the experience I had. Tragically, she's still there. I guess she's continued to succeed at snowing the board.)

First, turns out they've posted a listing for an opening for a director of fund development.

Ha! Ha ha ha. Good luck with that. Pffft. And to show how serious they are about finding the right person, they've put the admin assistant in charge of fielding resumes. Yeah. That's the person to put in charge when you're looking for the second or third most important slot in your non-profit. (Picture me rolling my eyes here.)

Second, they've added a "Donate Now" button to their website, which was something I proposed TWO YEARS ago when I was there. In the fund development community, it's become the quickest way to raise unsolicited, unattached (meaning, you don't have to give the donor anything. It's practically free money) funding without all the hassle. It's as simple as Jack or Jill Tree-Hugger clicking on a button, entering their Pay Pal information and making a quick contribution to an organization they adore. No fuss, no muss. The "with it" organizations have had them on their sites for several years now. Nice to see the WFE is finally getting with the times. Idiots.

Like I said, I don't know if I should be gratified or just shake my head. They could have been doing this two years ago and making money.



You may have noticed I took down the entry about D.B. Cooper. I did that for Bee, because some of the anonymous comments were getting out of hand. One of the nameless commenters turned out to be her cousins' half-brother, which was fine, but the rest were a pain in the ass.

The fact still remains, though, that Bee's cousins are pretty much certain D.B. Cooper was their dad, Wolfgang "Bill" Gossett.

I'm still tripping out about that!


In other news, I'm working on a personal project I hope to announce soon, so stay tuned to these parts.


Anonymous said...

Knowing exactly how you feel about wishing bad karma on former evil bosses, I wonder how many directors of fundraising she'll go through before somebody hits her over the head with her own giant Peter Principle.

I was fascinated by Bee's connections. Sorry about the crazies.

- Phoebe

Cele said...

Yes more karma on her for certain... and a pack of tetious butternut squash too...hmmm that could be interesting.

I totally agree with Phoebe about the Peter Principle, unfortunately there are so many employeed Peters out there, and a lot of Dicks too, that it is taking longer for their incompetence to catch up with them.

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

Phoebe: I try not to let the bad feelings overtake my life, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I pray for cans of karmic whoop ass for the last two bosses I've had. That said, maybe the problem I've had is I've been the Peter in the Principle. Maybe I'm less competent than I imagine or have been led to believe I am or have deceived myself into believing I am. I don't know. All I know is, I hope when it finally catches up with the wretched former bosses of the world that the payback is long and painful. Not a very charitable person, am I?

Cele: I should start sending the WFB a case of butternut squash on March 31 every year with a thank you note.

"Dear WFB:

Thank you for comparing me to a butternut squash and illuminating my lack of awareness regarding my overwhelming tediousness.



The sick thing is, I very much doubt she even remembers telling me I was/am tedious. Ah, well. Say la vee.

So.... Who wants cake? I have cake downstairs. German chocolate. Anyone? Anyone? Anyone?

shinshige said...

Tewkes, you certainly do not live a boring existence.


J.M. Tewkesbury said...

Shinshige: I know and sometimes that's the problem. I'd like an occasion or two or ten or a hundred of boring. I could live with that.

talkingbudgie said...

And there are probably a whole lot more ideas of yours (other than the donate button) being palmed off by other people that you don't know about... The karma question certainly is an interesting one!

J.M. Tewkesbury said...

E:) : More than likely. I forgot to mention in this post that the same organization is still using all of the text and sponsorship formula I set up while I was there. If I was so f*cking tedious, why are they still using this stuff?

What cracks me up about nasty people is, they perceive themselves to be impenetrable and opaque, but they're so phony and transparent, it's either really laughable or overwhelmingly pathetic. In the case of my former employer, I think it's mostly the latter.

I'm walking away... Chocolate cake still available to anyone who's interested... I'll even serve it with a tall glass of cold milk, if you'd like.

lacochran said...

It's an obvious case of your being smarter than the WFB. At some level she knew it and couldn't deal with it. If you apply for a similar job at another organization you can proudly say that this organization implemented a great number of your ideas and continues to use them. If they ask why you're not still with them mumble something about artistic differences or mention that you were at a "freer" time in your life and didn't want to get pinned down to one place.

Liz said...

Working with butternut squash also turns my fingers orange, but I still like it. :)

D.C. Confidential said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
j.m. tewkesbury said...

Lacochran: You make excellent points. Thank you! Rather than shaking my head, I should be grateful. The adoption of the "Donate Now" button and continued use of my text and formula are proof that I contributed in positive, lasting ways to the WFE!

Liz: You crack me up! Butternut squash rules!

Anonymous said...

Mr T: Sorry that you took out the article on D.B. Cooper. It was taking oodles of hits. Wondering if the FBI has censorship over your website? Could you please tell us who is "Bee?"
Never did get the whole story on that. Keep up the good work and please bring back "D.B." We love that story.

j.m. tewkesbury said...

Anonymous: Bee is my housemate. Her father was Wolfgang's brother-in-law. Wolfgang's first wife was a woman named Beverly Hansen. As I mentioned previously, he left her after surgery to correct her epilepsy left her institutionalized. Bee's three cousins by Wolfgang's marriage to Beverly are her direct connection to them and, by extension, to Wolfgang (aka D.B. Cooper.)

And now, Anonymous, who are you?

Lucy said...

Don't you just wish everything bad would happen to a former boss? never does.

j.m. tewkesbury said...

Lucy: Yes. I'm still holding out hope it will.

splertert19 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
splertert19 said...

Wow. "Whatever" is a great attitude. Getting stuck on things like that isn't something to be angry or upset about--especially when there are other important issues which require the same amount of emotion.

Good luck with everything else in your life. :)

Note I deleted the last one because of small mechanics.. I'm a writing major (comes with the territory)

LG said...

I check in on my old company, too. I was working on an awesome pro bono project when I was let go, and when it very successfully launched a month later, I wasn't even a footnote. That's ok; my peeps at the company say everyone who matters knows it was my project.

Sucks about the crazy commenters. I found the D.B. story absolutely fascinating!

Also, thanks for the photo of the lovely butternut squash soup. For some reason, it made me laugh out loud.

I know I'm late, but I could really use some chocolate cake. I'm psyching myself up to go work out and need the pick-me-up.

I tend to leave really long comments here. Maybe I should start my own blog.

j.m. tewkesbury said...

splertert19: Welcome! I agree with you--there are so many other, more important things to worry about and life is way too short. At the very least, I have the satisfaction of going to sleep at night with a clear conscience!

As for deleting your previous comment for writerly reasons, I totally get that. I do the same thing all.the.time.

LG: It was kind of a bummer, since it's such a fascinating story, but some of the anonymous comments were heading in a direction of debate and did-you-know, well-I-heard and my-mother's-uncle's-dog's-cousin's-beta fish-named-Fred-said sort of direction. Bee is a much more private person than I am and it was starting to bug her, so I took it down.

I hear you about the work stuff. Sucks to be kicked to the curb and then have others benefit from all your hard work. But, as I'm sure you're realizing, at some point, ya just hafta let it go or it'll eat you up.

Come on over. There's still cake aplenty to go 'round! (Oh, and don't worry about the length of your comments. No word limits here, my friend!)