
I, on the other hand, was a member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee (IBTC) for years!2 Over the years, my breastessess have matured and filled out a bit more and I'm no longer sure I'd continue to meet the requirements for membership in the IBTC. Still, they aren't ginormous and for that I'm grateful. That said, I haven't exactly flattered or done favors for my figure in the last eight years either.
That's because about eight years ago, I discovered sports bras. Wonderful contraptions. They practically plaster your breasts to your chest and make them nearly immovable. This is a good thing, if you make exercising or any kind of sport a part of your lifestyle. On occasion, I have been known to exercise, hence the existence of sports bras in my life.

To make a long story short, Emm and Ms. Swizzies hauled out bras for me. Both of them--Emm more than Ms. Swizzies--woman-handled my breastesses into those bras, making an adjustment here and a push-up there and voila! My chest went from being an androgynous no-ma'am's land to hubba hubba!
Mission accomplished, I paid for my bras4 and off we went. I've been wearing those bras now for about a month and I will admit, they do flatter my figure and my assets far more than squishifying sports bras ever did, will, or could. Other than that, though, I haven't really noticed my breasts or the impact of a positive bra on the same.
So the other day, I'm walking down the hall at work. I generally try to look straight ahead when I'm walking. This seems to help me avoid running into things or people. Anyway--I'm proceeding along, looking straight ahead, when I suddenly become aware of something in my peripheral vision. It wasn't anything above or beside me, but rather, below me. With shocking clarity I realized, "I HAVE BOOBS!"
That's right, boys and girls. My bras have transformed my peripheral vision! I'm no longer a flat-chested bore. I'm a busty broad...
Oy, moron! *SLAP!* My eyes are up here!

1. I found this picture of said t-shirt on Zazzle. What I find intriguing is the model has virtually no breasts. Frankly, I think the model in this picture is a man with long hair. So much for truth in advertising!
2. I even have a t-shirt to prove it. I'd show it to you, but it's at home in the States.
3. Crazy, right? But hey, this was Switzerland. Apparently, it's a miracle they're even open that late on a Saturday!
4. Good Lord, but bras are expensive! I can get six sports bras at Jockey for what I paid for two bras at Beldona. Sheesh.
Photo sources: Google Images and Wikimedia.
12 comments:
The mental picture of you getting your assets woman-handled into a bra by two other people--priceless. Does that count as a threesome?
I think ME said it best, so I shall add no more. hmmmmm.
ME: Well, it certainly seemed like it for a bit there. But no, it was pretty purtanical in the end. Still, it was a HUGE deal for me to go bra shopping and have the ta-tas out for all but a select few.
Cele: Precisely.
But have you learned to shimmy them yet?
(And if you do, teach me.)
Distracted by your own breasts, that is hilarious. :D You should slap yourself across the face next time.
I didn't touch a thing.
- Di
PS -- word captcha is "devill"
Wahoo! Way to treat the girls right.
Member of the itty bitty titty club here. Spent a couple of years trying to enhance rather than squish :) But I do like the freedoms that small boobs give: a) movement without pain, b) people think I'm probably smart since I don't rely on my looks, and c) nobody stares at my chest while they're talking to me. -Phoebe
LA: Well, my breastesses may have matured and filled out a bit, but I'm not sure there's enough there to shimmy. If there is, I'm not sure I want to shimmy... Do I? Perhaps someone more learned than I can assist. :-)
Di: Maybe it was Emm's boobies you assisted. I obviously have bad recall. I just remember it was a huge deal for me to have people (okay, friends), how shall I say? "Up in my business?" LOL! :-)
JA: Yeah, but still no floral or lacy bras. Though I'm sure Emm would be pleased if I did get a bra or two that sauced it up a bit.
Phoebe: Frankly, I think small boobs are the best, if you're lucky enough to be so minimally endowed. What I don't get are breast enhancements. I'm not talking going from an A cup to a C cup. I'm talking the crazy women who do the quadruple EEEE. That's just insane!
@ Di again. You'll love my word verification: rosti. Yeah, baby! :-D
Oh, the word ver after it is classic: katoot! Perfect.
It was my pleasure!
Oh -- I agree. The only enhancing I did was buy a slightly padded bra :)
-Phoebe
Maya: I'm sure it was! ;-)
Phoebe: Padded bras, okay. Boob enhancements, not so much. :-)
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