Facebook? MySpace? Second Life? If I Choose Not to Participate, Does That Make Me Uncool?

The other day, a friend of mine emailed me and asked, "When are you going to get on Facebook?" My reply back went something like this:

Facebook. Ugh. I already spend way too much time on the Internets and the computer right now. Sounds like you’re enjoying it, though!

While "too much time on the computer" is the primary reason, I've largely resisted joining any of these virtual social networking sites because I believe in good old face-to-face interaction. That's not to say I believe I can't meet or make friends with people I meet online. The opposite is, in fact, true.

Cases in point: My friends, the Scary Feminists from Hell. We met when we were all in grad school and participated in an email list group of Mormon graduate students called LDS Grads. Had it not been for this august group of tribal members in academia spread all over the globe, my circle of friends would be significantly smaller and I never would have participated in Sunstone, enjoyed the Columbia River Gorge, had Thanksgiving in Reno, gone to an art opening in Manhattan, been a groomsperson in a wedding on the hottest day on record in Pasadena, included the insights of a friend in my master's thesis, or been a part of a host of other fun stuff and significant events over the years with this fabulous group of women.

My friends and acquaintances I've met and made through blogging, like Sister Mary Lisa or Sideon or Alice or the Gunfighter or Suzanne or Phoebe or Abgue or Cele. I've enjoyed reading about their lives and, when occasions have permitted, actually meeting them in person and sharing a meal and conversation that leaves me feeling enlightened and uplifted.

Or the YahooGroups I've participated in over the years that have brought me into contact with people who have become dear friends, like Bishop Aitch or the women who contributed to a collection of essays I assembled about Mormon women's faith and sexuality or the Great Women's Dinner group--a group of women I currently get together with every few months for dinner and laughs.

The Internets have certainly enriched my life and resulted in deep, lasting relationships I cherish, friendships I enjoy, and the acquaintance of smart, fun people.

But, I'm not 100% convinced that Facebook or MySpace or Second Life will do for me what I've already managed to achieve through group lists and blogging. In fact, all of these virtual social networking sites feel clique-ish, juvenile, and awkward--for lack of a better word. Having not enjoyed periods in my life, like high school, for exactly those reasons, I am, to quote Captain Barbossa, "Disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Means, 'no'."

More than that, these sites seem like places to hide in the safety of virtual--i.e. unreal--relationships that do little to encourage actual--i.e. real--social, face-to-face interaction. While I've been okay participating in group lists and blogging, I haven't made them my only social outlet, if that makes sense. I get out and among people regularly and I enjoy meeting the people I'm familiar with online. In fact, when I travel, I let people know where I'm going so if anyone in my known circle wants to get together, we can. The idea of traveling to California and not seeing Sideon, or Switzerland and not visiting The Swizzies or Dr. Lala, or Salt Lake and not meeting Abgue or Lolatini, or Pennsylvania and not hooking up with my cousin-xx-times-removed-or-something (we haven't figured it out yet, but we're pretty darn sure my great-grandmother and her grandfather were siblings) Holly seem like opportunities missed and wasted .

And then there are the people whose blogs I enjoy and whom it might be fun to meet one day if all the stars aligned properly. (I won't list them here. I'd hate to creep them out. Besides, while I might think it would be great to meet them, they might not feel the same. And who wants to be in that awkward social situation? I like this kind of stuff to happen naturally.)

So, am I missing something? I am totally unhip or uncool? Should I get on the Facebook bandwagon? Personally, I'm perfectly happy where I am, but if my next job hinges on whether I'm hip to Facebook, I'm screwed.

Sick as a Dog. Again.

Ugh. I'm coming down with the flu again. I can't believe it!

Achy joints, a body-racking cough...

I say all that to say, I'm working on a response to the comments everyone left on my entry Getta Job, but right now, I'm looking for pain relief and wellness.

Back shortly...

Getta Job!

Woke up around 8:30 this morning, turned on the ol' 'puter and started catching up on some blogs. My friend, Tickle the Pear, had posted a piece about her Saturday activities. I'm reading along and I find myself befuddled. She's describing everything in the present tense and it's not even 9:00 a.m. yet. I'm thinking, "how did she do all of this today and write about it before nine a.m.?"

Finding myself in a state of confusion (and realizing I'm not quite as awake as I'd like to be), I start to wonder what day of the week it is. Then I realize, it's Sunday. Not Saturday. That was yesterday.

I've gotta get a job.

*****

Speaking of getting a job, I finally met with a career counselor last week. I have a bunch of homework and a follow up meeting this coming Friday. I'm trying to be humble in all of this, in the sense that a lot of what she told our introductory group about how to craft resumes, what to say/not say in a job interview, how to network, etc., is stuff I'm already doing or am known to be good at.

That aside, I'm trying to approach this with an open mind for what I can learn and how I can succeed at securing a job that stimulates me intellectually, allows me to contribute to making a difference in my little corner of the world, and provides me with the means to continue living the simple, but comfortable, life to which I've become accustomed.

*****

Speaking of success, I know I cut an impressive figure when I interview and new employers are always excited to have me "join their team," but then I end up falling down and disappointing them miserably with my performance. I'm not entirely sure what happens between Point A and Point Z. What I do know is, the confident, think-outside-the-box, forward-looking, leader and producer I brought to this town five years ago is not the woman I see in the mirror now. Now, I'm a navel-gazing, doubting, hold-my-hand-and-lead-my-every-thought-and-action, ineffective lemming.

I'm not exaggerating. I'm being serious. (And I'd appreciate it if everyone reading this would take me seriously for a moment.)

Somehow, I have to overcome that. I want to blame it on the culture that is pervasive in workplaces these days where we fail to mentor and we expect the sun, moon, and stars from people from day one. But I'm tired of that excuse.

I want to blame it on the fact that I've worked for really insecure, political people who can't handle it when the people around them outshine and outperform or push the envelope. But that's an equally tired excuse.

I discussed this with friends at a brunch yesterday and what we concluded is this: there are managers and there are workers. In today's work set-up, managers aren't managers anymore. They're expected to be managers and workers and you can't do both. The result is, people-managing and -grooming suffers. And yet, that seems like a cop out, too.

I'm beginning to believe it's entirely possible that I'm not as smart as I've believed all these years. Rather, what I am is charismatic and articulate, but not savvy and intelligent. (Before you protest that, think about it for a while. I have. What I lack is intellect and erudition, but I've managed to cover it up with intelligence, articulation, and charisma. Protest all you like--and I love you for your passionate attempts to dissuade me otherwise--but that's the cool, steely reality.)

But getting back to the first sentence in an earlier paragraph: I have to overcome that. I have to find that "thing" I do best that allows me to thrive and be the employee/leader I was five years ago. I miss her and, frankly, I hate the employee/lemming I am today. I'm tired of feeling weak and timid. I'm tired of appearing sharp but then being dull.

*****

Unfortunately, I've worked myself to a place of income where I need to make what I was making as an ineffectual lemming if I expect to meet my adult financial obligations--a mortgage, a car payment, utilities, insurance, some modest financial investment, pay off of my exorbitant student loans, etc. and maybe a vacation or two every few years. The jobs I'm contemplating and know I would be successful at don't pay the kind of salary I'm looking for. Not by half.

And that raises another question. How do people in the D.C. Metro area make less than $40,000/year and live on that? Even if I was making what I was making when I left San Francisco--which was more than $40K--there's no way I can manage on that. (And I know what you're thinking. I don't have to, because I have my other half. But when evaluating finances and monetary growth and security, I try to look at it from a singular standpoint as a baseline.)

*****

All that to say, I need to get a job.

But before I can be any good to anyone, I need to get around and over and on top of this foreboding sense of doom that is wrapped up in feelings of utter inadequacy, stupidity, and outright inability to perform to expectation.

Ain't no job can work that out of me, but me.

Too Depressing For Words...

As if it isn't difficult enough already, now there's this article in the Washington Post.

Highly Skilled and Out of Work: Long-term Joblessness Spreads in the Middle Class

My mid-life crisis just acquired a new layer.

Seeing as I'm already down with the flu today, I think I'll go back to bed now and contemplate the direction of my life...

P.S. The woman featured in this article, Caroline Dixon, is someone I knew when I was at the American Forest & Paper Association. The American Forest Foundation shared space with AF&PA and she was just down the hall from my office.

Old Taxi, New Taxi

Seems the Big Apple has a new logo design on their taxi fleet. Gone are the days of this second-rate, a kindergartner-could-stencil-this logo and design.


Welcome new, jazzy, up-to-date design.


Seems, though, that our neighbors to the north are chagrined by the new design. So much so that the New York Times is running a week-long series on the negative reaction.

Personally, I think it looks great. World class even. Better than the slap-dash old logo. Besides, at least New York City has a cab company and system that makes sense. It's certainly better than what we've got here, which is a mess and mix of crappy cars and dime-a-dozen companies. At least the zone system is finally going away.

Although, if the D.C. Taxi Cab Commission was smart, they'd keep Zone 1 intact and make any travel out of that metered. Regardless, and getting back to the point, bravo NYC!

Photo copyright: New York City Taxi & Limousine Commission.