Aaaaaah. Or, How a Remake of Mary Poppins Can Be Scary.

This is a lame entry, but I just watched this YouTube video on a friend's Facebook page* and had to post it here. I love this movie, but this recut trailer puts a new twist on it that will scare the bejesus out of you. Here is Scary Mary. (And thanks, JA.)



* Again, damn Facebook!

Dark Knight? More Like Dark Bleh.

Tunnel : Beach Drive : Rock Creek Park

On my way home from my parents the other day, I snapped this photo from the "safety" of my dashboard while driving.

And now, for a change of pace on Photo Friday, a review of a movie...

*****

I'm getting old.

If I'm going to spend $10.25 for a movie, I want to get something out of it.

This week, Bee, the EcoFellow, and I saw Batman: Dark Knight. Batman: Dark Bleh is more like it. Or, Batman: How Men Screw Up the World, Then Try to Fix It Only to Screw It Up More and Still Think They've Done Us All a Great Favor might be a better title.

DK had several potentially important, philosophical scenes that really could have been the meat of this movie. As it is, it was just an overinflated comic book story that went on about 45 minutes longer than it should have. Plus, the sound effects sometimes overwhelmed the dialogue and the fight scenes were just a blur of bodies. At times it was hard to tell who was where and fighting whom. This movie was a mess. Oh, and the scene with Bruce Wayne arriving at a fundraiser for D.A. Harvey Dent with three beautiful women on his arm was so gratuitously testosterone laden, it was just stupid and added little to the movie except to let you know that Batman/Bruce Wayne's human flaw is, he has a tiny dick.

In short, this is a movie--as my longer, recommended title indicates--about men who make a mess of the world, try to clean it up, and make a bigger mess in the process. It did no favors in elevating men or women to a plane higher than their stereotypes. Not that I expected it to be on scale with a movie like Match Point or Lars and the Real Girl (neither of which are fair comparisons because this is a comic book action flick), but it was so gratuitously awful and missed so many opportunities to have some deeper meaning, I can't recommend it all that highly. It's certainly worth seeing on the big screen for all the effects, but I wouldn't pay full price. See it as a matinee.

As for Heath Ledger, his performance as The Joker was very good, but I'm not 100% sure I'd call it Oscar-worthy.

Out of five stars, I'll give this a one.

Happy (Photo) Friday, friends!

Photo copyright: D.C. Confidential

Another Good Movie

Saw another good movie this past weekend, thanks to Netflix. It's an adaptation of a Dennis LeHane book: Gone, Baby. Gone. It's a moralistic tale encased in crime that will leave you pondering for days: "What would I do in a similar situation?"

The setting is Dorchester, Boston's roughest, most blue-collar neighborhood. LeHane, a native to the area, writes down-to-earth, gritty, flawed characters. (He also wrote Mystic River, an equally excellent book and movie.) This film is directed by Ben Affleck, another Boston native, and stars his brother, Casey, as well as Morgan Freeman and Ed Harris. As an aside, Ben should give up acting and move full-time into directing. He's much, much better at the latter than the former. His brother Casey, on the other hand, is a pretty decent actor. Certainly better than Ben, anyway. Morgan Freeman is, of course, excellent as always. And so is Ed Harris.

If you want a movie that will stick with you and make you think, see this film. Out of five stars, four.

Netflix is My Friend

I've been slowly making my way through my Netflix queue. Recently, I've seen There Will Be Blood, Becoming Jane, Atonement, Juno, La Vie En Rose, and Lars and the Real Girl. It's that last one I want to discuss, as the rest are only varying degrees of okay. (Actually, that's not entirely true. Juno was much better than I expected and quite sweet. But I'm not discussing that film today.)

If you haven't seen Lars and the Real Girl, don't wait a minute longer. Written by Six Feet Under's Nancy Oliver, the movie stars Ryan Gosling as an emotionally stunted introvert who can't seem to embrace and live life fully. Then one evening, he shows up on his brother's and sister-in-law's doorstep and says he's met someone. Delighted, they welcome Lars and his new friend, Bianca, into their home. Only thing is, Bianca is a life-size sex doll.

What follows is an endearing look at the human psyche and the traumas and sorrows we internalize. In the course of Lars' relationship with Bianca, the town embraces his delusion and goes so far as to give Bianca a job as a model in a women's clothing shop, enlists her as a volunteer at the local hospital, and ensures she has the occasional girl's night out with other women in the town.

Patricia Clarkson gives a brilliant performance as Dr. Dagmar. Ryan Gosling is sweet and is supported wonderfully by Emily Mortimer, Paul Schneider, and Kelli Garner. Out of five stars, I give this one a four and a half. In fact, I liked it so much, I'm going to buy it and add it to my DVD collection.

Blotto

Being sick and feeling "miz-ruh-bull," as a friend of mine puts it, inspires a great deal of mindless and/or inert activity. Between the naps and the occasional showers in an effort to purge the aches, as well as the consumption of tea and chicken noodle soup, there's a lot of time for mindless... no, wait. That isn't right. There's a lot of time for low-energy drivel. Television plays a starring role in the drivel. All you need the strength to do is operate a remote control.

Thus, this week alone, I have watched more television in the last three days than I've watched in the last year. Of course, it helps that on Monday there was a marathon of Mike Rowe's Dirty Jobs. It was all going so well until he featured himself working in a tannery. That was enough to make me hurl what little I had in my stomach. Do you know this guy use to be an opera singer in Baltimore?! Yep, true story.

Then there were the episodes of Star Trek: Voyager with the lovely Kate Mulgrew as Captain Kathryn Janeway--a scrappy, Katharine Hepburn-like character who inspires my beliefs about the ability of women.

Late one night I watched, for the second time, a documentary about primordial dwarfs and a wee little angel named Kenadie Jourdin-Bromley. If you haven't seen her story, check it out. She, and her peers, are amazing!

I know I'm way, way, way behind the movie queue, but I finally watched Sideways and loved it! Brilliant film. Ranks right up there with American Beauty in terms of great American films.

And, thankfully, there's Netflix, which brought me a crime drama from Britain called Blue Murder. I can't really compare this one to Prime Suspect, except that it bears a couple of similarities. Like its marvelous predecessor, this one also features a female detective chief inspector--DCI Janine Lewis. It's set in one of England's largest cities--Manchester. People get murdered. That's about where the similarities end, though.

Where Prime Suspect is edgy, Blue Murder is a bit softer. It isn't as dark as the former and the characters aren't nearly as nuanced or flawed. The biggest difference from Prime Suspect is, it's got some humor and lightness that the former lacks. Put more succinctly, if Prime Suspect is Homicide: Life on the Streets, Blue Murder is Law & Order meets Barney Miller. Regardless of the lack of edginess, I am enjoying it. (Only bugger: no closed captioning, which means I have to watch these twice, because the Manchester drawl is a bit mealy-mouthed and I miss stuff.)

And, I'm almost done with Pat Conroy's The Prince of Tides. So far, I'm pleased. A decent story with picturesque writing. Having spent time in the Carolinas and Georgia, it isn't difficult to imagine the places and people Conroy is describing. All in all, a good read.

I'd been thinking I needed to see the movie, but now I'm not as inclined. I'm afraid Nick Nolte and Barbara Streisand will ruin it for me, especially since I've managed to get beyond picturing the two of them as the main characters.

There you have it.

Sidebar: As I type this, the Dirty Bastard Cat is lounging in the afternoon sun, snoring. Good Lord, but he's loud!

Bloody Bad

I hate to upset a good blog entry already in progress, but I have to post this entry as a public service. Once you've read it, you can go back to the First Order of the New Order meeting minutes and comments.

Last night, Bee and I went with the EcoFellow to see Tim Burton's Sweeney Todd starring the adorable Johnny Depp and the noir-some Helena Bonham Carter. I'll grant you, I knew the story line and what it was about, but oh, yuck.

I won't say anymore except to say, don't spend $10.25 to see this bloodbath. In fact, don't even spend the price of a matinée ticket. If you're all fired up to see it, wait for it to release on DVD. Okay, I'm lying. I will say a little more...

Depp is good in this, as per his usual Tim-Burton-directed self, but his accent slips into Captain Jack a little too often. Bonham Carter is actually the character worth watching. She just does dark and creepy, but lovable, so well. She was good in this. Alan Rickman was bland, which is too bad, because he usually and especially does sinister superbly. Regardless, none of this redeems this movie. And the music isn't all that memorable, aside from the song Joanna. What the hell was Stephen Sondheim thinking with this piece?

This makes the second or third movie we've seen with the EcoFellow that none of us liked. (Not that that's the EcoFellow's fault. I didn't mean to imply that.) To quote the EF: "I'm beginning to think that movies make me tired." I think the three of us are going to have to find a different activity when we get together. Or, we're going to have to start seeing kid's flicks.

Books and Movies

Having a little time on my hands of late, I've been catching up on my "To Be Read" pile and watching a few movies.

A few weeks ago, I started E. Annie Proulx's book, Accordion Crimes. The book is meant to chronicle the history of America through the travels of an accordion originally handcrafted by an Italian immigrant. Are you yawning already? I am. Again. I love Proulx's writing. The Shipping News and Brokeback Mountain are gems, but this book, well, not so much. I tried. Really, I did. I read to about page 128 and then I decided there are too many other books to be read to be wasting time on one that wasn't holding my interest. Out of five stars, a goose egg.

Currently, I'm reading Pat Conroy's The Prince of Tides. Conroy paints his characters beautifully, including Dr. Lowenstein, who is actually the least interesting and flatest character in the book, despite her central role. Conroy writes his protagonist well, but his dialogue for the female characters is stilted and shallow. Perhaps it's meant to be that way? The only problem I'm really encountering with this novel is, I keep picturing Barbara Streisand and Nick Nolte in the lead roles they portrayed in the motion picture of the same name. Please note: I've never seen the movie in its entirety. In fact, all I've seen is five minutes at the end. I'm about half way through, so I'll be back with a report. But, so far, it's a decent read.

In the world of motion pictures, I've just finished watching the following:

Snowcake, 2006, Alan Rickman, Sigourney Weaver, Carrie Ann Moss

It's always nice to see Alan Rickman in something other than his usual dark, dour characters. Not that his character--Alex Hughes--isn't dark in this movie. Difference between his character in this movie versus, say, Snape in Harry Potter or the sheriff of Nottingham in Robin Hood is, this darkness is not because of a character flaw, but because of circumstances. Sigourney Weaver gives a brilliant performance as an autistic woman. And the young actress, Emily Hampshire, who plays her daughter is endearing, even though she's only on screen less than five minutes. Out of five stars, a two and a half.

Portrait of a Marriage, 1990, Janet McTeer, David Haig, Cathryn Harrison

A PBS Masterpiece Theater docudrama about the life of poet Vita Sackville-West and her marriage to foreign service officer and aristocrat Harold Nicolson. More significantly, this four-part series highlights Sackville-West's same-sex affairs with childhood friend and novelist Voilet Keppel, as well as Virginia Woolf. I'm only half way through this one. Out of five stars, a three and a half for being groundbreaking public television in the 1990s (though I doubt this showed in markets outside of San Francisco and larger metro areas.) The sound quality is bad and it doesn't include closed-captioning, which I find unhelpful in my non-stereophonic world. Still, what I have seen rates as it does for no other reason than being ahead of its time for public t.v.

Prime Suspect 7: The Final Act, 2006, Helen Mirren, Richard Hawley

Over the last 15 years, this has been one of the best police/crime dramas in the genre. With this final series, though, Mirren and Company bring it home stunningly. This is, hands down, the best of the seven Prime Suspects and ends in classic Jane Tennison fashion. If you haven't seen this yet, get it. It's worth every single minute. And it proves once again why Helen Mirren is not only in the upper echelons of actors, but why she is unmatched. Out of five stars, a five.

I've watched several other movies and series, including: Der Tunnel, 2001, Heino Ferch, Sebastian Koch, Nicolette Krebitz. About East German Olympian Harry Melchoir and his friends, who dig a tunnel out of West Berlin into East Berlin to rescue family and friends; Touching Evil 3, 1999, Robson Green, Nicola Walker. The final series in a trilogy about a psychopathic police detective who tracks serial killers. Of the three, this is the best of the lot. The cinematography and direction are especially good, making this final chapter edgy and dark; The Times of Harvey Milk, 1984, Harvey Milk, George Moscone, Dan White, Dianne Feinstein. A documentary that shows the political rise of Harvey Milk and his election as the first openly gay member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisor, as well as the circumstances that led to his assassination along with Mayor George Moscone by fellow board member Dan White. White claimed too much junk food pushed him over the edge, hence the origin of the Twinkie Defense; and The Singles Ward, 2000, Will Swenson, Richard Dutcher, Connie Young. A quirky comedy about what it's like to be single and Mormon. A little too maudlin and camp at the end, but a great soundtrack!

In A Pickle

We didn't play games a lot growing up. Mostly because Dad was either too impatient or too competitive, which took all of the fun out of it for us kids. (He didn't get the concept of balancing lessons in competition with lessons in building self-esteem.)

As adults, though, my sister and I have taken up games more and more often. We've roped in Mom and my brother. Occasionally, we invite Dad to join us. We're not the best at playing, but we have fun learning together, making up rules as we go along, and just laughing a lot. It doesn't matter who wins since we don't play to win. We just play to have a good time and to be together (again, a concept Dad totally missed.)

A couple of years ago, my sister picked up a great little card game called Spite & Malice. Last year, I grabbed Apples-to-Apples. And this year, it's going to be In A Pickle, which I found today at Target while I was out buying stocking stuffers. (By the way, has anyone tried the M&M's Limited Edition Cherry Cordial Candies? Not high-end cordials by any stretch of the imagination, but fun and tasty nonetheless.)

In A Pickle is looking like it's going to be a blast! Here's how it's described on the box:

Does a sofa fit in a shopping cart? It all depends on how you size it up in this game of creative thinking and outrageous scenarios. Try to win a set of cards by fitting smaller things into bigger things--a baby goes in a bathtub, which is in a house, in Hollywood. Play the fourth word card to claim the set, unless one of your opponents can trump with a larger word. The player with the most sets at the end is the BIG winner!

Anyone want to come over and play? I'll make cookies and we'll drink tea...

****

P.S. On a completely unrelated topic, Bee, the EcoFellow, and I went to see No Country for Old Men tonight at the AFI Silver. Tommy Lee Jones was fabulous. Otherwise, this Coen Brothers adaptation of a Cormac McCarthy novel was awful. (But then, I think Cormac McCarthy's writing and stories are awful, so go figure.) Out of five stars, a two--and that only because Tommy Lee Jones was so good.

Corners

I'm not sure two entries in a row about t.v. or movies is the best precedent to established here at Tewkesbury Place, but I'm sitting in front of the telly right now watching some good material. So much for better content tomorrow, eh?

For some odd reason, we get SuperStation WGN out of Chicago. Can't get WBAL out of Baltimore, but we get t.v. from the Windy City. The good thing about that is, we get a Canadian show called Corner Gas. It's the Northern Exposure of 30 minute sitcoms.

Set in Saskatchewan, Corner Gas is "forty miles from nowhere and way beyond normal." The characters are quirky and nuanced. Whilst watching it, you can't help but get pulled into the silly plots and adventures of the people of Dog River. Oh wait, the best part: the show is produced and written by the star of the show whose name is... wait for it... Brent Butt. Yep, that's his real name.

Definitely not highbrow, but an amusing story that perks up the midweek! Beyond that, it's Canadian t.v. There's not much more to say, except that, like the Canadians it portrays, it's nice. Eh?

Here's a clip for your viewing enjoyment and edification.



And once again, here's hoping for better content tomorrow.

Dumpster Diving

I'm digging for material here, kids.

Last night, I watched a good, innovative adaptation of Shakespeare's Macbeth. I adore Shakespeare, despite not being as versed in the nuances of the Bard as some are--i.e. I didn't major in English Lit in college, but I had a helluva English teacher in high school who started my love affair with old William. In college, I had one class that was all Shakespeare and I thoroughly enjoyed it. But I'm straying yet again.

Last night's Macbeth. The series is called Shakespeare Retold and is a production of the BBC. I found it on Netflix one night and thought, "What the heck!" Turns out, it was a good choice. This modern version of Macbeth features Scottish actor James McAvoy and the woman who played Zoe in MI-5/Spooks, Keeley Hawes. The story line is McAvoy as a successful chef who murders his mentor and the restaurant's head chef/owner--Duncan Docherty--in order to gain the glory of achieving a Michelin three-star rating at Docherty's.

The best part of the adaptation are the Bin Men--a trio of trash collectors in the role of the hecates/clairvoyants from the traditional play.

It's rather well done (no pun intended) and if you like Shakespeare, this is certainly enjoyable and worth the time. It's also a decent way of introducing Shakespeare to someone without reading it or paying to see it at your local center for the performing arts.

That's all I've got for today. Shakespeare. Here's hoping for better content tomorrow.

Brilliant Television

I rarely watch t.v. these days because there's so little of value on the telly and the amount of advertising is mind numbing and frustrating.

Occasionally, though, there is a gem that bears Netflixing and enjoying sans commercials. Recently, I've been watching episodes of Boston Legal and I have to say, that has to be some of the most intelligent, witty writing out there. James Spader and William Shatner are brilliant!

Another show that was a gem is The Carol Burnett Show. The talent of Carol Burnett, Harvey Corman, Tim Conway, and Vicki Lawrence was superlative. The Bob Mackie designs were amazing. Who can forget that scene where Carol Burnett, in spoofing Gone with the Wind with a sketch called Went with the Wind, descends the staircase of Tara wearing a velvet drapery with the rod still attached mocking Vivian Leigh's drapery-made dress? As she gets to the bottom of the stairs and Harvey Corman compliments and asks her where she got the dress, Carol replies, absolutely deadpan, "I saw it in the window and I just couldn't resist it." Brilliant!



Monday night, I was watching a PBS series called American Masters and they featured Carol Burnett. At one point, Bee turned to me and asked, "Do you ever think the variety show will make a comeback?" I thought for a moment and then said, "I doubt it." In a country where instant gratification, soundbites, skankiness, and crude repartee are the hallmark of so much television and entertainment, a show like Burnett's wouldn't have a chance in today's world. Which is really lamentable.

Did I mention that what's missing from television is brilliance? Oh, I did? Just wanted to be sure.

So, what shows do you think are brilliant?

Video clip courtesy of YouTube.

September Dawn

September Dawn
Jon Voight, Trent Ford, Terence Stamp, Tamara Hope
Directed by Christopher Cain
111 minutes
Rated R for Violence




Even before you buy a ticket, September Dawn begs this fundamental question: who is the audience for this movie? And just as significantly: what is the point?

In brief, September Dawn is the motion picture depiction of a handful of Mormons who, on September 11, 1857, murdered 120 men, women, and children of the Fancher-Baker Party in the peaceful meadowlands of Southern Utah in an incident that came to be known as the Mountain Meadows Massacre. For decades, Mormon historians and church leaders buried the incident, scapegoating an adopted son of church leader Brigham Young--John D. Lee, blaming the incident on the Paiute Indians, and denying all, or even any, culpability in the events of that fateful day.

As with many historical depictions, this film takes liberties that mar the lines between known facts and blurry suppositions. While the filmmakers state upfront that this motion picture is "Inspired by Actual Events", it contrives characters and events that add little to the value of the actual telling of a story so dramatic and heinous, it still isn't fully clear what happened that day, why it happened, and who did or didn't know about it or ordered the slaughter.

Especially disturbing are the following points:

• The depiction of Joseph Smith's last days, which include Voight's character, Jacob Samuelson. In particular, Samuelson's presence at the murder of Joseph Smith. It is a known fact that the only people with Smith in Carthage Jail that night were his brother, Hyrum, and their associates, Willard Richards and John Taylor.
• The lack of notable female Mormon characters. Aside from a brief glimpse of the wives and children of the fictional Samuelson, a passing glance of a woman crossing the family courtyard between the Samuelson house and the barn, and three women in a temple reenactment scene, there are no Mormon women of significance in this film and, of those that are portrayed, none speak except in the temple scene. And then, they're only repeating ritual liturgy.
• A gratuitous scene featuring Mormon temple rituals, including ritual clothing and liturgy, that added nothing to the content of the movie. The worst part of this scene was the use of outdated liturgy that included an oath of vengeance and "blood atonement" on those who were not Mormons. (Granted, Mormons did, at one time, swear oaths of vengeance and sought to avenge the death of Joseph Smith. However, these oaths have been removed from all temple liturgy and are no longer sworn by faithful Mormons.) Even though I am no longer active in my faith and haven't participated in temple in almost a decade, I bristle at inappropriate depictions of rituals that have meaning for people of faith. This scene added nothing of value to the film.
• The daughter of a preacher traveling with the Fancher-Baker party who is a 19th century girl with 21st century ideas. This tool was used to show the sometimes backward thinking of Mormons (and yes, most of their ideas on the roles of women in the church are definitely archaic), but it was done in such a manner that the contrast between this young woman's intellectual and spiritual prowess and Jonathon Samuelson's blind faith and rote religiosity leave both characters as little more than one dimensional, flat parodies.

All that to ask once again: who is the audience for this movie?

It certainly isn't present-day Mormons. There isn't any more information they can glean from this that they haven't already had from the Church--even as spotty and flawed as that information has been. For true believing Mormons, this movie will do little more than incite ire and disgust.

It can't be historians or scholars, because any academician of credibility--with the exception of the folks at FARMS (the apologetics arm of Mormon academia)--will tell you the information surrounding the events leading up to Mountain Meadows is incomplete and comprised of supposition and probabilities. Yes, Brigham Young was extremely vitriolic in his speeches and ruled his people with an iron hand. He also made no bones about wishing to eradicate not only those who killed Joseph Smith, but their descendants as well. But, did he actually order the massacre in so many words? We'll likely never know with absolute certainty. The movie, on the other hand, makes that dubious claim with little apology or compunction.

It can't be political pundits and journalists, who salivate at the very possibility of finding any little tidbit that can be attached to a political candidate seeking public office. In this case, some critics speculate that Christopher Cain & Co. are looking to throw a disparaging light on presidential hopeful Mitt Romney. While I'm certainly no fan of Romney and have no intention of voting for him, it's pedantic to think that a movie about an historical event 150 years ago would torpedo the candidacy of a Mormon. That would be akin to accusing John F. Kennedy, a Catholic, of somehow being indirectly responsible, but nevertheless guilty-by-association, for the reprehensible acts condoned by the Holy See over the centuries. It's just silly.

If this movie is targeted at a mainstream audience, then September Dawn is "sound and fury, signifying nothing" insofar as your average American is concerned. What little mainstream America understands about Mormonism to begin with--factual or not--is so far removed from what happened at Mountain Meadows, its akin to explaining the three degrees of glory, or heaven, Mormons believe in upon first meeting and discussing religious beliefs with a non-Mormon. In other words, it's so far out there, it doesn't even register with many run-of-the-mill Mormons. Ergo, it's hardly likely to register as even momentarily significant for someone who isn't LDS.

That said, it doesn't take away from the fact that what happened on this "other September 11th" (and, oh by the way, Voight, in an interview in the Weekly Standard, makes no bones about drawing parallels between the September 11th of 1857 and September 11th as we understand it today) was heinous, unnecessary, and tragic. It doesn't diminish the fact that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints made every effort to bury the incident--and not just for years, but for more than a century. And it doesn't lessen the legitimate queries about who knew and how the orders were given.

Sadly, this movie wasn't what it could have been. Then again, I'm not sure what it could be, other than a documentary. Instead, September Dawn is a gratuitous, vulgar, disingenuous flim flam.

To read more reviews about September Dawn, visit these sites:

• Roger Ebert
• Deadline Hollywood Daily
• The Rotten Tomato
• Wikipedia (Reception)
• Slant
• New York Newsday
• The Village Voice
• Hollywood.com
• The Salt Lake Tribune (One and Two)
• The Washington Post (One, Two, and Three)
  
• September Dawn: News & Reviews
  

Photo courtesy of Google Images.