Monday, May 14, 2012


Hi all. I know, I know. I haven't been around these parts in quite a long time. Mea culpa. I've let Facebook replace blogging, which is kind of sad and pathetic, because I love writing and blogging.

Today is my birthday and I'm this many (visualize me holding up 4 fingers on my left hand and 4 on my right hand. If you think I'm eight, all I've got to say is "No thanks!" Third grade sucked!)

Being as I'm older, wiser, and more mature than I was whenever the last time was I checked, I decided to come up with a list of 44 truisms I've learned over the years. (At least, they're truisms for me. For you, they may be bunk and bullshit.)

1. Walk slower; you'll see more.
2. Never ask a woman her age. If you are asked, say "Old enough to know better than to ask that."
3. Most meetings are a waste of time.
4. So is Facebook.
5. Your parents love you, but not unconditionally.
6. Life shouldn't be measured by the stuff you have, but the people you love. You can't take stuff with you, but you can take love.
7. Also, life shouldn't be measured by who you are, but how you love yourself and others. At the end of the day, judging is still judging and isn't love.
8. Don't let a single label define you. You are made up of many facets. The most important, all-encompassing one is this: I am a human, being. (And yes, that comma is correctly placed. Think about it.)
9. Simplicity is liberating.
10. Travel outside your national boundaries--it's good for your citizenship in the world.
11. The American way isn't the only or right way.
12. Most people really don't care to know your life story, which means they also may incorrectly judge you.
13. Being compassionate and forgiving may be naïve and simplistic, but it's better than being bitter and angry.
14. No, that shirt does not look good on you and never did. If you insist on keeping that shirt, make it your I-only-wear-this-on-the-plane-traveling-long-distances shirt.
15. Buy bras that fit and are comfortable. It will make a world of difference.
16. If you have siblings who are younger than you, they are no longer "my little sister" or "my baby brother". They are grown-ups you admire. For example: This is my sister, Janeen, and my brother, Phillip. They're both really cool! Full stop.
17. You are never going to please your parents, especially your mother, 100% of the time.  If you're lucky, they'll be pleased 50% of the time.
18. Following off of #15, every morning I look in the mirror, I know I am a disappointment to my mother, because I didn't/don't live up to her hopes and dreams. I also know she loves me and I love her. Somewhere in there, I have to split the difference and live my life.
19. Learn a second language. And then a third. And then a fourth. And a fifth... It will change your worldview. Also, it will make it easier to ask if the toilet in the pub or gas station or rest stop is a genuine toilet or merely a hole in the floor before you commit.
20. Inequality for one means inequality for all. If you think it's okay to exclude others, I suggest you stick around and see what inclusion looks like for a change. You might find you like it!
21. Bullying is never cool. Full stop.
22. In-laws can be lovely people, but at the end of the day, it's often better to keep your mouth shut than to get in the last word. (The same applies with your own parents.)
23. Don't let anyone ridicule you for your love of ice in your beverage. It's perfectly normal and okay. (It's also okay to not have ice.)
24. Politics suck. So does shopping.
25. Never be duplicitous. Say what you mean and mean what you say. In matters of importance, don't equivocate. Our lives often depend on each of us being trustworthy, forthright, and reliable. 
26. I don't know if it was Sun-Tzu or Michael Corleone who said, "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer", but it's a good idea. The only problem is, sometimes it's hard to tell who your enemies are and it's a challenge to keep everyone close. Therefore, I got nothin' here.
27. Oatmeal is good.
28. When eating in Lyon, never think about the contents of the cow snout salad.
29. When visiting a city, if we get separated and you can't find me, look in the nearest church.
30. Going to church is fine. I'm also fine without going.
31. Baskin & Robbins may have 31 flavors, but my favorite is still just plain old mint chocolate chip.
32. Kindness, as the saying goes, begins with me.
33. The light is always best early in the morning and in the evening. The rest of the day, the light is harsh and washes everything out. Life is kind of like that, too, so get up early and enjoy the light. It will color the rest of your day for the better.
34. Using words like "fag", "homo", "queer", and "that's so gay" to seem funny is, in fact, not funny. Behind those words and among your friends there may be someone for whom those words have deeper, real-life implications. You're denigrating others when you use them. So don't.
35. I'd like to say never have regrets, because they're a waste of time. The fact is, though, we all have them. And, yes, they are a waste of time, but that doesn't make them any less real or regrettable.
36. Some people are cat people and some people are dog people. So what? Scoop the litter box or go for a walk. Whichever.
37. My dog loves to cuddle and hates the wind. Both warm my wee Grinchy heart.
38. My partner loves to cuddle and hates the wind. Ditto #37.
39. Dismissing another person's feelings, pains, or triumphs is just plain rude. Empathy is a virtue.
40. Everyone should have a Scarlett O'Hara file. Except when it comes to telling people you love them. That you should do immediately, often, and without hesitation or fear of the consequences.
41. I much prefer taking a risk to being afraid.
42. I don't like the word "hate". It's harsh and ugly. If you don't like something, just say you don't like it. There's already enough hate in the world.
43. Not only should everyone have a friend like this, but everyone should be a friend like this.

And finally...

44. When possible, make a U-turn.


Maya said...

Words to live by... (and you don't have a wee grinchy heart!)

dee said...

OMG it's TEWKESY!!! As I live and breathe. Love this post. :-) <3

Janet M Kincaid said...
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