When My Brother Emails Me...

...I know it's going to be good.

When the emails arrives, it's generally just a subject line and then a link. For example, these are the last five things he's emailed to me recently.

1. 10 Things Not to Say When Firing an Employee. The list includes things you shouldn't say while letting someone go. I read through the list and couldn't believe some of the things people would say. They're almost as bad as stupid things people say and do in interviews, only worse, because they're patronizing. I'm glad they included this one:

5."This is just as hard for me as it is for you." There are few absolutes, but it is absolutely true that it always harder to be fired than to fire. Don't ask an employee who is looking at unemployment to feel your pain.

I know a few people who have had this line said to them and each of them, to a person, has said that it was the ultimate insult. Having heard that line myself once, I know it's often everything you can do not to look at the person delivering it and say, "Somehow I really doubt that, you ass."

Moving on...

2. If you're into mysteries, this article in the Telegraph UK was fun. It features an interview with one of the quintessential mystery writers of the 20th century, P.D. James. Coincidentally, this morning I had an email from Shelfari saying that the top award winners of 2009 include C.J. Box's Blue Heaven. If you want a gritty mystery, I suggest Box. His books are excellent!

Now I just need to figure out how to get his last three books. Amazon.com here I come. Could this be an excuse to get a Kindle?? Hm.

3. Then there's this article about Carl Jung and The Holy Grail of the Unconscious from The New York Times magazine. It's rather lengthy and I confess I haven't read the entire article, but I'm working on it. What I have read so far is quite interesting. If you enjoy psychology, definitely give this a look.

How do you feel about that?

4. Some of the stuff my brother sends me isn't always fun, but it is educational and even a little frightening. For example, an article from CNET about bat flu that was fascinating, largely because I learned about an animal disease lab not too far from Manhattan, NY, on Long Island known as Plum Island. As if that wasn't somewhat frightening enough, the article mentions a new facility slated for Manhattan, KS. The one upshot to Nation prepares for deadly bat virus was, I was able to forward it on to a friend who works in public health and may be moving to Kansas in a year or two. Job opp.

Now, where's my hand sanitizer?

I've saved the best for last. In fact, his email this morning was the inspiration for this blog entry.

5. As many of you know, I lived in Austria 20 years ago. What you may not know is, Austria is the official home of Wiener Schnitzel. No, not the tacky hot dog joint. I'm talking about the gustatory wonder that is breaded and fried veal or pork. This morning's email subject line simply said: "Another reason to visit NYC..." Then there was the usual, lone link, which led to this:

I ♥ schnitzel!

Look out taco trucks! The schnitzel has arrived! I'll tell you, New York City has everything. If you're living in the Big Apple and you see this truck, please have a schnitzel for me.

Now please tell me that last link made you smile? Compared to the first link, it should have or you're fired! And leave the schnitzel behind, because that will definitely hurt you as much as it hurts me. In the waistline.

*****

Finally, as this is Friday, here's this week's photo. Happy (Photo) Friday, folks! Have a great weekend.

Modestes : Museum of the Int'l Red Cross/Red Crescent : Geneva, CH

Photo sources: Drive-in Theater.com and Schnitzel & Things.
Photo copyright for Modestes: D.C. Confidential, 11/09

Not Red Velvet Cake

Red... er... purple velvet cake: Bee's request for her birthday this year!

Wednesday was Bee's birthday. Last year for her birthday, we had friends in town from Europe, so we had a big bash that involved yummy lasagna and red velvet cake. After that soirée, Bee challenged me to make a red velvet cake sans the red. She wanted a purple cake. So, last night, I made a Purple Velvet Cake. Same recipe as red, but with purple food coloring instead.

The emphasis here is on purple, if you hadn't guessed!

The cake part is nearly black, that's how dark the purple is. I think in the future, rather than using Wilton's Violet, I'll just mix red and blue McCormick's and go for a lilac color in the cake. The deep purple frosting is definitely fun, though, because it colors your tongue purple.

Anyway--it was fun to make and will certainly be fun to eat over the next week or so.

Happy Birthday, Bee!

And happy (photo) Friday, everyone!

Photo copyright: D.C. Confidential

Snap! Crackle! Pop!

Neapolitan Krispie Ring. Original, huh?

Once a year, a group of us get together and have a brunch where the theme is chocolate. It's a fabulous little affair with lots of yummy food. I made these cookies from Never Bashful with Butter and they were a huge hit. With the exception of one woman, no one could guess what the secret ingredient was. They were surprisingly tasty.

Then, just for fun, I made Rice Krispie Treats. I found strawberry and chocolate marshmallows at Target. When I brought them home, my initial plan was just to make a pan of Rice Krispie Treats in each flavor whenever the mood struck. Then I realized I could have fun with it and ended up making a Neapolitan Krispie Ring! This is a picture of said ring. Surprisingly, everyone really enjoyed these, too. (Although, I think on this one, they were just being polite.) If I ever make these again, I'll skip the chocolate marshmallows and just buy Cocoa Crispies instead. The chocolate marshmallow layer: not so good. The strawberry layer: yum!

Happy (Photo) Friday, friends!

Photo copyright: D.C. Confidential

Mmmmmm... Dooooooughnuts

I don't have to explain this, do I?

No?

Good!

Thing is, though, I was so full last night, I couldn't partake. Somehow, having Five Guys & Fries and Krispy Kreme just seemed so wrong to my arteries and they rebelled. Mom and the sibs enjoyed imbibing, though.

It's probably a good thing that I live in the city and this shop of ambrosia is out on Route 1 in Alexandria.

Photo copyright: D.C. Confidential, 1/08

Is This Month Over Yet?

Is it December yet?

Okay, I know this is a lameass cop-out for a NaBloPoMo entry, but it's all I can muster tonight. Plus, I need suggestions.

I'm going to my dinner/book group holiday party tomorrow. Actually, Bee and I are going. We might even take our friend, the EcoFellow, with us. We'll see...

Anyway--we're going to the holiday party tomorrow evening and I need suggestions for an appetizer or something I can take. I'm making a red velvet bundt cake dusted with confectioner's sugar, but I need one more item.

All suggestions are welcome! If it requires a list of ingredients, that's fine. Leave 'em in the comments.

I'm too pooped to think about what else to take. It's been a busy day. Here are the pictures to prove it!

Gutter cleaning and installing gutter guards with my dad this morning.
We're three stories up!

Photo safari with my brother this afternoon.
I took him to see The Awakening, which he's never seen except in pictures.

Run to Krispy Kreme this evening.

Suggestions for tomorrow's holiday party welcome here! xoxo

And now I'm off to bed. It's been a long day.


Photo copyright: D.C. Confidential, 11/07

Gobbler

If you live in the D.C. area and you haven't yet ordered your fresh turkey for Thanksgiving, it isn't too late. Be sure to call Melvin Inman at Market Poultry in the Eastern Market for your fresh bird. I'm calling today for mine!

Photo copyright: Kansas City, KS, Public Library

Fluted

Product review! I rarely write about kitchen tools, but this one is my new favorite.

Several years ago, a woman I worked with became one of those Pampered Chef hostesses. To avoid having the actual party at her house, she just passed the catalog around at work and we all ordered. Frankly, I prefer it that way. Nothing I dislike more than baby/bridal showers, make-up/ makeover evenings, or Tupperware parties. (Although, I'll make an exception for pedicures, especially when it involves the Scary Feminists. Love me a pedicure and love me the Scaries!)

So, I ordered this pan from Dana via her P.C. catalog. When it arrived, it intimidated the hell out of me. I mean, this is not your grandmother's aluminum bundt cake pan by any means. This is a PAN. With emphasis on PPPPP-AAAAAA-NNNNNNN. PAN. Of course, being the good, adventurous cook that I am, I did the sensible thing with this new tool. I promptly put it in the cupboard with the other cake pans. Which is where it has been for the last two years.

Until last week. Finished with dinner one night, I decided I wanted cake. So, ignoring the standard directions on the back of the box, I grabbed a box of Duncan Hines marble cake and added four eggs, one stick of butter, half a cup of sweetened condensed milk, one cup of water, and a package of vanilla pudding. I set the oven at 350 degrees and then I decided it was finally time to use my fluted pan from Pampered Chef.

I dug it out of the cupboard (it cried for joy when I did), read the instructions, rinsed it out with hot water, patted it dry, sprayed it with Pam, and poured in the batter. Forty minutes later, I took the cake out of the oven, inverted it on a wire rack to cool, and let it rest for 20 minutes or so before my patience ran out and I cut a slice and ate it warm.

The result was decent. I mean, it's marble cake from a box. You can't expect too much, can you?

Or can you?

The next morning, I cut a slice to take to work in my lunch. Little did I know what was in store for me. Around 1:00, I bit into my cake, died, and went straight to heaven. This was the moistest, densest, yummiest cake I'd eaten from a box in a long time. Certainly the rich recipe modifications I make to the boxed mix contributed to the moistness, but this was beyond superlative. (There's that word again. I've used it twice this week. And I digress. Again. Sorry.) Maybe I'm reading too much into it or endowing the tools with too much power, but I'm convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt, as they say in the faith of my upbringing, that my Pampered Chef fluted pan had a hand in the delectable outcome of this cake.

And the best part: it has stayed that moist and yummy all week. I had the last piece after dinner last night and it was still good.

So, if you like to bake, find yourself a Pampered Chef hostess and get one of these pans. To steal a phrase from the dude at the Men's Wearhouse, "You're gonna like. I guarantee it."

Photo copyright: The Pampered Chef (fluted pan) and D.C. Confidential (cake)

Yum

I rarely write about my cooking, but this evening's dinner was simple and tasty. It was also a bit of an homage to summer, which is quickly drawing to a close. Only three or four more days and we'll be back in the autumnal equinox.

Tonight's dinner was also special because it featured three varieties of tomatoes: lemon, beef steak, and zebra. I sliced them into quarter wedges and laid them out in a circle on a plate. Then, in the center, I placed about a cup of homemade chicken salad.

I don't spice mine up a lot, though, I suppose I could try throwing in some fresh tarragon or dill.

Here's the recipe:

2 large chicken breasts and chicken legs *
1 bunch of celery, chopped
1 cup slivered almonds
Mayonnaise **
Salt and pepper
Tomatoes

Strip the breast and leg meat off of the bones; trim off any excess fat, veins, and otherwise icky, crunchy parts. Wash and dry one bunch of celery; trim off leaves and chop stalks into 1/4" pieces. In bowl, combine chicken, celery, and almonds with enough mayonnaise to make the salad moist, but not gloppy (about 1 1/2 cups). Add salt and pepper to taste. Place in the fridge to chill for three or four hours.

On a plate, cut one whole tomato into 12 or 16 wedges and arrange on the plate in a circle. Place chicken salad in the middle. Cut up some crusty bread and enjoy!


* I just buy a rotisserie chicken at Costco and then strip it. Easy, decently flavored, and you don't have to worry about all the miss of cooking a chicken yourself. Otherwise, season and bake a whole chicken, let it cool, and strip it.

** I grew up using Miracle Whip, but I know that offends the palate of most of my readers. You can substitute with a good mayonnaise, though. I use Duke's. It's from North Carolina and it beats Hellman's, Kraft, and any other brand of mayo you can name hands down. If you're okay with Miracle Whip, don't use that half-assed, light stuff. Go with the full octane version. Same with the mayo.

Jello Pots

Last night found me at my parents' house for Sunday dinner. I hadn't been asked to bring anything (nor did I ask if I could bring anything), but I decided, "What the hay? I'll make a Jello salad." Even if you're no longer a practicing Protestant-type of any stripe, you can't get Jello out of your DNA. All those church dinners and family reunions embed markers of that gelatinous junk on your double-helix. The result is, you crave it occasionally, but not often.

And... remember my post from a couple of week's ago about the toilet on my dining room table (a.k.a.: the new pet bowl I'd purchased for the family dog)? Remember everyone's fabulous suggestion for foods one could serve in it? Well, I decided to combine said bowl with aforementioned Jello salad and voila! I wasn't able to find blue Jello, a la "Tidy Bowl", so I ended up going with peach-flavored Jello and fresh peaches. (I know, I know. It's a blatant shame to waste good peaches this way, but like I said, some things just can't be purged from the ol' DNA.)

So, without further a-doo-doo, I give you: JELLO POTS!

Jello in a 'pot!

Mom and my baby brother (who's not such a baby anymore. He's 32), sampling the fare.

P.S. In case you're wondering, after we finished eating the Jello, I washed out the bowl and the dog is now using it.